Author: Kathleen Doyle-White

Good day, team,

Today is the Monday on which we officially celebrate Memorial Day, but the actual holiday is May 30. This year, then, we have not just a day but a week in which to ponder the significance of the holiday and what it means to many Americans.

I grew up in a generation that was not particularly well-schooled in the histories of World Wars I and II. The war that we knew, the Vietnam War, took the lives of many of our high school and college classmates. The ones that did return suffered a depth of emotional and psychological damage that none of us could have anticipated. So holidays like Memorial Day were looked upon as not particularly significant or even with negative associations.

It took me another 20 years to fully appreciate what it might be like to be 18 years old and freezing to death in a foxhole in France for the freedom of my country. With the help of the author Stephen Ambrose, director Steven Spielberg, who produced “Band of Brothers,” and others, I have learned what hardship these soldiers (and all soldiers) endure and how it affects an entire nation of people for generations.

When my Uncle Bud died a few years ago, the entire family was shocked to learn that he had earned a Purple Heart in World War II. This news surfaced in the obituary in his local newspaper in Bangor, Maine, where he had lived his entire life. My Uncle Bud was a very happy go-lucky guy. He worked for the railroad hauling freight for many years, despite the fact that he lived with bits of shrapnel embedded in his left side for 62 years. He never complained, and he never talked about his experiences in the war.

My husband’s father served in the army in the Philippines. We know he witnessed many atrocities, but he never talked about his experiences either. This tack was typical of World War II veterans and, because they didn’t share their experiences, we often never knew how brave they were and how they coped with daily life in such difficult conditions.

Today, our soldiers fight in Iraq and Afghanistan. Sometimes I turn on the very end of the nightly news on public television just to witness the acknowledgment—in pictures, names, ages and place of birth—of the soldiers who have died in the past week. Public broadcasting shows these pictures in silence as a way of honoring them. I do this to be reminded of these young people who enlisted to make a better life for themselves and for others. It is a way for me to remember that life is brief and to appreciate the freedom that I have.

This week, your challenge is to honor those who have died in service to others. Maybe it was a policeman you knew or a great uncle who died in the second World War. Perhaps you honor a fireman who died trying to save others or a colleague’s son who never made it back from his tour of duty in Iraq.

We have so few times in our lives when we stop to honor others, and this week gives us a rare opportunity. Light a candle or say a prayer; meditate on the spirits of these brave people, or educate yourself about some of their experiences: whatever is meaningful for you.

We all know someone who has been touched by war or tragedy and the courageous people who, in a brave act of service, have given their lives. Let’s take a moment and bless them in memoriam.

Have a great week!

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

© Copyright 2008 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights reserved.

Good day, team,

This week, I learned about a situation that one of my friends is experiencing which I can only define as scary. I’ll call it “management by electronic device.” My friend’s boss sent a series of e-mails, reprimanding him and his peers for not meeting a deadline and giving them strict orders to do very specific things to remedy the situation.

Frankly, I was appalled. These two people work in the same location, and yet it seems that, with their travel schedules, their ability to see each other face to face is limited. And, what surprised me most was that my friend’s boss didn’t even call him on the phone, but chose to use e-mail instead. Is it any wonder that people have trouble communicating, let alone trusting each other, when their major means of communication is through an electronic device?

Mobile devices are wonderful tools, but they are a mixed blessing. We’ve gotten so used to having mobile access that it becomes harder and harder to “get off the grid,” so to speak, and enjoy some peace and quiet.

Recently, my husband and I traveled to Mexico. We got on an airplane, flew for five hours, then rented a car and traveled for an hour and a half (the last six miles of which were dirt road) to a very remote place that uses solar panels, generators and propane to power itself.

When we went to check in, the owners of our hotel weren’t there, so we had to leave them a hand-written note and then, because we didn’t know what else to do, we went and had a beer. Computer and phone access is impossible there. What a relief! We left our laptops and cell phones behind as we enjoyed hour after hour of uninterrupted time on the beach and in the hammocks.

But here at home, I’ve gotten so used to carrying my cell phone wherever I go that it’s impossible for me to imagine what it would be like if I couldn’t call my clients on my way to meet them to confirm the appointment or find them if we end up in different places. Without a doubt, mobile technology has given me freedom I didn’t have before. I can be just about anywhere in the world and be in touch with clients, which is incredibly convenient. But when it comes to human interactions, phone contact pales in comparison to a face-to-face experience.

Your challenge this week is to increase the quantity and quality of your human interactions. Are you using your phone and e-mail so much that they’ve now become your major modes of communication with your co-workers? If that’s the case, build some time into your week so you can meet with people one on one or, at the very least, in a group.

If you travel a lot for your job, are you relying on your BlackBerry to be the main connection to your family? One of my clients sent text messages back and forth with his wife while he traveled. After he realized that he hadn’t actually spoken to her in awhile, he called and was surprised that she sounded so hoarse. When she told him she’d been fighting a cold for two weeks, he suddenly realized that he hadn’t spoken to her all that time. If you’re frequently out of sight, try using video conferencing or webcast technology to connect with people at home.

If you manage people, resist the urge to do it via e-mail. It’s degrading and, because tone of voice and facial expressions are absent on e-mail, your contacts’ ability to truly understand you is lost. Your message will come across as an instruction set, which is fine for computers but not human beings. And if you find that you’re one of those people who consistently uses emoticons on e-mail, it’s probably because you’re trying to express some feeling that would be much easier to convey in person. (Personally, those things remind me of Wal-Mart pricing specials 🙁 !)

Mobile technology has enabled us to communicate in many ways that we were unable to make use of just 20 years ago. It’s a wonderful tool. But the power of human presence is something that cannot be replaced. It fully empowers us and gives those around us the complete experience of who we are.

Have a great week!

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

© Copyright 2008 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights reserved.

Good day, team,

Recently, I’ve been thinking a lot about the contrast between the profile of success for leaders and managers 25 years ago versus today and how dramatically different it is.

For example, most of the successful leaders I knew back then were quite concerned about positioning themselves in their companies. Title, salary, number of direct reports, and number of people in your division were all extremely important, directly determining how much money and prestige you earned. Command and control was a common management philosophy, and “the guy in the corner office” was the person who held the most power. It was a scary thing to walk down the hallway to go see the boss: You needed to know exactly what you wanted to say so you didn’t waste his time.

How things have changed for today’s successful leaders and managers! Now a title more often identifies what someone is actually doing, rather than being a symbol of power. People can be individual contributors and make as much money as managers who have large divisions. Command and control is frowned upon, and the ability to communicate well and be versatile are key components of successful management. People look to their leaders to walk their talk, and when they don’t, they don’t trust them. And trust is one of the greatest motivators for today’s workforce. Leaders talk about the need for transparency so their people can trust their decisions.

The participation of women at all levels within companies has changed the “old boys’ club” forever. The strengths of relationship building and collaboration that women so often use in their daily interactions with others have changed the workplace significantly.

People’s ability to adapt quickly to new circumstances has become essential in the digital world. Today, successful business people are also agents of change, and they carry many tools in their toolbags. They are extremely flexible in their approach to people and issues and display a proactive, solution-based way of thinking and acting.

Here’s a great description from Mike Bonifer, the author of “GameChangers— Improvisation for Business in the Networked World,” written with co-founder Dr. Virginia Kuhn of GameChangers LLC.

“GameChangers are people who make a positive difference. As we move from the rigid, hierarchical business structures of the Industrial Age to the fluid, project-based models of the Networked World, GameChangers have never been more important or essential. Whenever teamwork, creativity, flexibility and problem-solving skills are necessary for success, these players step up. They develop relationships that are good for business. They pay careful attention to details and at the same time have the most expansive world views. They are quick-on-their-feet, unflappable and in tune with their stakeholders and the marketplace. They make moves that help their teams achieve their objectives. They are the top performers in any organization, the best managers, the most resourceful employees, the culture-shapers. They play the game and make things happen. In short, GameChangers are masters of improvisation in business.”

Your challenge this week is to consider how well you fit this description of a GameChanger. Are you becoming more flexible or more rigid in your thinking? How versatile is your management style? Do you always relate to people in a similar way, or can you change your communication and behavior depending on whom you’re working with? When was the last time you helped a team make a breakthrough by thinking differently about a problem rather than rehashing something in the same old way? Would your team members describe you as nimble, unflappable and a positive influencer?

As Bonifer writes, “GameChangers not only have the ability and courage to change the game, they let go of expectations about what the outcome of the game will be and focus on being productive in each and every moment, whether that means supporting their fellow players or making a bold move themselves.”

Have a great week!

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

© Copyright 2008 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights reserved.

Good morning, team,

The following challenge is inspired by Jan Foster, sales manager at XPLANE, who often sends me words of wisdom that she reads along the way.

The excerpt below reveals the philosophy of Charles Schultz, creator of the “Peanuts” comic strip. You don’t have to actually answer the questions. Just read the e-mail straight through, and you’ll get the point.

1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.

2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.

3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America pageant.

4. Name 10 people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer prize.

5. Name the last half-dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.

6. Name the last decade’s worth of World Series winners.

How did you do?

The point is, none of us remembers the headliners of yesterday. And these people aren’t second-rate achievers: They are the best in their field. But applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.

Here’s another quiz. See how you do on this one:

1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.

2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.

3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.

4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.

5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.

Easier?

The lesson: The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones who care about you.

Your challenge this week is to let these people know how much you appreciate having them in your life. Try extending yourself to others so they know you care about them too. It doesn’t have to be with banner headlines: Just, in some small way, let them know you’re there to help if they need it.

Many thanks to Jan for sharing the Schultz philosophy. She’s not only been a great client, but has referred many wonderful clients to me over the years. I appreciate her insights and amazing networking abiliities!

Have a great week!

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

© Copyright 2008 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights reserved.

Here is a challenge from the archives that seems appropriate again:

Good Day, Team,

The coach’s challenge for the week is inspired by a quote from Albert

Einstein: “A problem cannot be solved at the level of consciousness in

which it occurs.”

The challenge this week is to consider one problem you’re currently

dealing with and find a completely different way to solve it. To

create new ways of doing things, we have to think very differently

about possible solutions. This requires us to actually “see”

differently, that is, we must be able to look at our difficulties with

a completely different perspective in order to create new solutions to

them.

One of the great benefits of working on a team is that you can ask a

team member how she or he views a situation. In asking for another’s

point of view, we gain a different perspective, and this allows us to

see something in a new way. This then enables us to also seek a

different solution.

Changing your environment can alter your perspective, too. How often

have you found yourself sitting at your desk laboring over possible

solutions to a problem, just to find that your mind is continuing to

circle around the same solutions you’ve already tried that aren’t

working? If at that moment you decide to get up and take a short walk

outside, you can easily change your state of mind and have access to

more creative thoughts. It’s as though the cobwebs have cleared, and

you can literally see the problem and possible solutions in a different

light.

Try experimenting this week with different ways to solve a problem. If

you’re able to allow an outside influence to alter the way you see a

problem, you may find the right solution.

Have a great week!

Kathleen

Good day, team,

This week’s coach’s challenge is about learning to trust. When I first pondered this idea, I thought it was about trusting other people. But upon reflection, I realized that it was first about trusting myself and then trusting others. That is, we build trust by behaving reliably and by expecting the best from others.

We earn other peoples’ trust by doing what we say we’ll do. We act with care and consideration. We are dependable. We are known for our integrity. No hidden agenda causes us to give mixed messages to others. Our actions reflect our intentions.

We reinforce our trust in others by releasing skeptical thoughts about them. If we start out suspecting someone or something and entertain the suspicion long enough, we convince ourselves that it is the truth. But skepticism is usually more wrong than right. Thoreau noted, “We are always paid for our suspicion by finding what we suspect.” I think the opposite is also true: If we expect to trust other people, we will find something in them to trust.

This week, observe what you do to be trustworthy and also how much you trust your fellow team members. What are you doing to foster feelings of trust in others? Do you find yourself deceiving others either by lying, withholding key information, or telling stories that are untrue about yourself and others? Are you fooling yourself by thinking that others don’t see your deception? If you do trust others, how do you communicate that trust?

Trust is key to the development of any strong friendship, partnership or working relationship. Mutual trust and esteem are part of the foundation of all successful ventures. Look for ways this week to be more trustworthy and to be more trusting of others. You will find that much more is possible when we trust each other.

See if you can confirm the words of Francois de la Rochefoucauld: “The trust that we put in ourselves makes us feel trust in others.”

Have a great week!

Kathleen

Good morning, team,

April is National Poetry Month, and the occasion reminds me how important it is to pursue interests other than work. When I was young, I wrote poetry. I’m not sure why; somehow poetry spoke to me very early on, and I started making up rhymes in my head and then writing them down. Once, I woke in the night with a poem that was so anxious to get written down that I wrote it on the bed sheet. My supportive mother cut the poem out of the sheet the next morning and remade my bed with a new one. When I came home from school that day, there was my poem, written with pencil on a piece of rumpled sheet. From then on, there was always paper and pen by my bedside.

My poetry muse continued to influence me until I was in high school. When I was a sophomore, I began to be very critical of my poetry. I worried what other people would think, and the satisfaction I felt after I’d written a poem was quickly being replaced by embarrassment. One day in English class, I wrote a poem about our beagle, Charley. We all had to read our poems out loud, and although mine was far superior to many, when a boy I had a crush on teased me later and told me how stupid my poem was, I didn’t write another for almost 25 years.

By the time I was in my early twenties, I was working in Washington, D.C., in a crazy, fast-growing business, and all my available time was taken up by my job. I worked incredibly hard during the week and then tried to recover on the weekends. Hobbies and extracurricular activities went by the wayside.

It wasn’t until I was approaching middle age that I began writing poetry again. I had forgotten how good it made me feel to use words to create pictures and to be able to express my most intimate thoughts in poetic form. I also realized that it had been years since I’d engaged myself in any activity that wasn’t work-related.

The experience I had had as a child when I wrote poetry began to re-emerge. It was so satisfying to sit and write for a few hours and then go back the next day and read what I’d written. The critical part of my brain had matured and was not so anxious to jump in and tell me everything that was wrong with the poem. Or perhaps those thoughts were there, but I just didn’t take them as seriously any more. I was finally able to do something for pure enjoyment that had nothing to do with my work or my family: It was just for me. And every time I wrote a line it energized me and made me feel good.

Your challenge this week is to identify your interests that are not work-related and cultivate them. In my husband’s case, he plays keyboards once a week with a drummer. They don’t do it to perform or to record, they just get together every Wednesday night and play because they love it. This pleasure keeps him balanced and healthy. When he plays, he’s not thinking about anything else, he’s just enjoying the music.

If you already have something in your life that you do for pure enjoyment, be sure you continue to make space for it. If you find that most of your time is taken up by obligations, carve out some time for yourself when you can re-energize, recreate, and renew by doing something you love. Maybe it’s quilting, (how many women do you know who have a room full of crafting materials that never get used?) or knitting or painting or gardening. Perhaps you enjoy carpentry or boating or dancing. A game of golf can often restore all the energy that an entire week of strategic planning meetings uses up. Find your special hobby or interest and don’t let a week go by without making time for it.

Remember the old saying, “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.” Find that thing you love to do and do more of it.

Have a great week!

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

© Copyright 2008 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights reserved.

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