Category: Coach’s Challenge

Good day, team,

This week’s challenge comes from the I-Ching, or “Book of Changes,” which is an ancient (over 5,000 years old) Chinese text of philosophy and divination. It is organized in hexagrams; here is hexagram 49-KO.

“No revolution in outer things is possible without prior revolution in one’s inner way of being. Whatever change you aspire to in your affairs must be preceded by a change in heart, an active deepening and strengthening of your resolve to meet every event with equanimity, detachment and innocent goodwill. When this spiritual poise is achieved within, magnificent things are possible without.”

I have seen the truth of this statement in myself and others. We often make the mistake of thinking that if we could just change our external circumstances, everything would be so much better. If we just had a different job or boss, if we could just live where there’s more opportunity, have a different partner, or more affordable housing, life would not only be so much more to our liking, but we would do a better job of it.

And yet no real change occurs from the outside in, but rather, from the inside out. Connecting with and sustaining what is most true within us, listening to our conscience, and having integrity in what we do and how we do it, allows us to find the true peace and happiness we seek.

When I relocated to Portland in 1998, I had many hopes and dreams about how I would set up my life so I would be happier. But before long I realized I had brought all of my baggage from California with me, both external and internal. Imagine my chagrin when I discovered all the internal baggage I had hoped to leave behind was still right beside me!

For example, I had this notion that the only person I really knew in Portland didn’t want to be friends with me. This was based on some old events that had happened when we were both living in California previously. I still had some embarrassment about what had happened and convinced myself that because of it, I couldn’t call on her when I moved to let her know I was here and in the hope that she might want to strike up our friendship again. Much to my surprise, when I ran into her at a store downtown, she was very open and friendly and happy to hear that I had relocated. We continued to see each other and eventually talked about past events. She had moved beyond it and had forgiven herself and me. Whereas, I hauled that old baggage up to Oregon with me and had talked myself out of a perfectly good friendship because I hadn’t changed my internal relationship to it. If I wanted to move past it, I had to change my heart and my attitude so that I could let go of the old emotional baggage and be open to a new relationship with her.

Your challenge this week is to consider what revolution needs to occur in your inner way of being. Are you holding on to some inner baggage that no longer serves you? Perhaps you’re still carrying around anger or resentment about a colleague, even though the situation that caused it happened many months ago and is no longer relevant. If you find yourself reacting in the same way to a familiar situation and want to react differently, why not resolve to change how you respond in the future, and act upon that vow?

“Joy is not in things, it is in us,” wrote Charles Wagner. When we realize that external changes don’t make us happy, and instead adjust our internal state, we begin to know the secret of our true nature, which is sufficient unto itself.

Have a great week!

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

© Copyright 2008 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights reserved.

Good day, team,

Last evening after dinner, as I was removing the dishes from the dinner table, I noticed my husband, David, staring into space. I asked him if he was all right. “Yup,” he replied. “Just spacing out for a minute.”

His response reminded me of a Boston Globe article I had read recently about the joy of boredom, by Carolyn Y. Johnson.

“A decade ago, those monotonous minutes were just a fact of life: time ticking away as you gazed idly into space, stood in line, or sat in bumper-to-bumper traffic. Boredom’s doldrums were unavoidable, yet also a primordial soup for some of life’s most quintessentially human moments. Jostled by a stranger’s cart in the express checkout line, thoughts of a loved one might come to mind. A long drive home after a frustrating day could force ruminations. A pang of homesickness at the start of a plane ride might put a journey in perspective.

“Increasingly, these empty moments are being saturated with productivity, communication, and the digital distractions offered by an ever-expanding array of slick mobile devices. A few years ago, cellphone maker Motorola even began using the word ‘microboredom’ to describe the ever-smaller slices of free time from which new mobile technology offers an escape. Social networks like Twitter and Facebook turn every mundane moment between activities into a chance to broadcast feelings and thoughts, even if it is just to triple-tap a keypad with the words ‘I am bored.’

“But are we too busy twirling through the songs on our iPods—while checking e-mail, while changing lanes on the highway—to consider whether we are giving up a good thing? We are most human when we feel dull. Lolling around in a state of restlessness is one of life’s greatest luxuries—one not available to creatures that spend all their time pursuing mere survival. To be bored is to stop reacting to the external world and to explore the internal one. It is in these times of reflection that people often discover something new, whether it is an epiphany about a relationship or a new theory about the way the universe works. Granted, many people emerge from boredom feeling that they have accomplished nothing. But is accomplishment really the point of life? There is a strong argument that boredom—so often parodied as a glassy-eyed drooling state of nothingness—is an essential human emotion that underlies art, literature, philosophy, science, and even love.

“Paradoxically, as cures for boredom have proliferated, people do not seem to feel less bored; they simply flee it with more energy, flitting from one activity to the next. Richard Ralley, a lecturer in psychology at Edge Hill University in England, has noticed a kind of placid look among his students over the past few years, a ‘laptop culture’ that he finds perplexing. They have more channels to be social; there are always things to do. And yet people seem oddly numb. They are not quite bored, but not really interested either.

“That means steeping in uninterrupted boredom may be the first step toward feeling connected. It ‘may take a little bit of tolerance of an initial feeling of boredom to discover a comfort level with not being linked in and engaged and stimulated every second,’ said Jerome C. Wakefield, a professor of social work at New York University and co-author of ‘The Loss of Sadness.’ ‘There’s a level of knowing yourself, of coming back to baseline, and knowing who you truly are.’”

Your challenge this week is to do nothing for a moment or two. Try not answering the next e-mail, the next phone call, the next request from someone who wants you to act upon something. Just try sitting still, doing nothing, and see what happens.

For my husband, those few moments of staring into space were a bit like a power nap: a few minutes to totally relax and feel revived afterward. If you’re like me, you may find that when you have your morning coffee, you just sit and let yourself wake up a little bit more. Going from being asleep in bed to waking for the day is a period of transition, and relaxing over coffee helps me move through the transition slowly and peacefully.

Perhaps you choose a time each day to just sit quietly for a moment or two. Sometimes allowing yourself to digest all the information you receive helps you assimilate it better. You may find that giving yourself permission to rest for a short period of time is liberating. Instead of feeling guilty about not answering the phone, you can feel the freedom of not having to answer it until you decide you want to talk to that person.

We often give up our peace of mind by being busy all the time. Try just being rather than doing for a bit of time this week. Rather than being bored, you may actually enjoy a few moments of space, quietly allowing yourself to drift wherever the moment takes you.

Have a great week!

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

© Copyright 2008 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights reserved.

Good day, team,

Today’s challenge is about the psychology behind winning and the lessons we can learn from realizing that there’s no such thing as a sure thing.

Yesterday, a horse named “Big Brown” ran the Belmont Stakes. This horse had already won the Kentucky Derby and the Preakness. He won his first five races by a combined total of 39 lengths. In every race, he blew all the other horses away, and so everyone was convinced that the Triple Crown (winning all three races) was his for the taking (or the running, so to speak).

Big Brown’s trainer and owner boasted all week about how it was a foregone conclusion that their horse would win. They were certain that they would be celebrating the first Triple Crown win in 30 years and were excitedly looking forward to stud fees of up to $120 million afterward.

But the universe has a way of humbling us. Yesterday, Big Brown came in last. A horse named “Da’Tara” won the race. The odds were 38 to 1, and the return paid $79 on a $2 ticket. As the famous anonymous quote says, “Never bet on a sure thing unless you can afford to lose.”

Over the last year, I’ve watched a local company lose a great deal by making wrong assumptions and bad decisions about it’s business. The leaders had a healthy, viable business. It had taken them 10 years to create a company that was growing slowly but surely, and the future looked very good.

Strangely enough, the CEO became convinced, partly as a result of naive internal advisors, greedy external consultants and self-delusion, that he should completely change the business model and take his company in a different direction. He couldn’t quite explain what the new business was or how it would work, but his advisor’s convinced him that if he changed the model, he could get into a different market and make millions.

He began to hire people who parroted back just what he wanted to hear. He convinced himself that he could only win and that the old business wasn’t going to grow fast enough or make enough money. Sadly, he never questioned the assumptions he or his consultants made, and his business is slowly dying as a result. The only real business left is the one that had been grown previously, and there are no new sales.

Your challenge this week is to question your assumptions about anything being a sure thing. If you think your product is the best out there, think again. Perhaps you’re convinced that you have no competition or that the competition has a much weaker position than you do. Maybe you and your team are absolutely sure that the direction you want to take is the only possible solution, without questioning whether your initial assumptions are completely accurate.

My grandfather used to go to the horse races on occasion. He was not a betting man, but he liked the excitement of the crowd as the horses rounded the last bend and raced to the finish line. He loved this quote from W.C. Fields: “Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.” I think about that quote when I’ve convinced myself that my team, or the team I’m working with, is already in the winner’s circle.

Have a great week!

Kathleen

Good day, team,
At the request of a number of clients, I’m re-sending this challenge that was originally written last year. I hope you enjoy it again!

Albert Einstein was a Nobel Prize-winning scientist whose theory of relativity changed Western concepts of time and space forever: No small accomplishment by any means. Einstein remains one of the greatest scientists who ever lived.

However, many people do not know what a sensitive man he was and how, as he aged, he became more and more philosophical, often challenging the entire scientific method he was trained to venerate. His experience of life became more and more magical as he aged, and he seemed to revel in the fact that many of life’s great truths persist without any scientific proof.

The following Einstein quotes were collected by Kevin Harris in 1995. I am grateful to him for this compilation:

“The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and all science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead: His eyes are closed.”

“Imagination is more important than knowledge.”

“A human being is a part of a whole, called by us ‘universe,’ a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separated from the rest… a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.”

“The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing.”

“Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be achieved by understanding.”

“The most comprehensible thing about the world is that it is incomprehensible.”

“The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.”

“Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts” (sign hanging in Einstein’s office at Princeton).

These last three rules have also been attributed to Einstein:

“The Three Rules of Work:

1. Out of clutter, find simplicity.

2. From discord, find harmony.

3. In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.”

Your challenge this week is to choose one of these quotes from Einstein, print it out, and find a place where you can see it daily (on your desk at work, on the refrigerator, in the bathroom, wherever). Choose whichever speaks to you so that in the midst of your daily routine, Einstein’s words of wisdom will wake you up, give you some perspective about a situation that seems unsolvable, make you laugh, offer you a different viewpoint.

We are so blessed to live in a world where there is an infinite amount of information available to us. I call it info ad infinitum. What a marvel: That we can read Albert Einstein’s most intimate thoughts just by googling his name on our computer! Why not use this information to arrest ourselves for a brief moment of truth?

Have a great week!

Kathleen

Good day, team,

Today is the Monday on which we officially celebrate Memorial Day, but the actual holiday is May 30. This year, then, we have not just a day but a week in which to ponder the significance of the holiday and what it means to many Americans.

I grew up in a generation that was not particularly well-schooled in the histories of World Wars I and II. The war that we knew, the Vietnam War, took the lives of many of our high school and college classmates. The ones that did return suffered a depth of emotional and psychological damage that none of us could have anticipated. So holidays like Memorial Day were looked upon as not particularly significant or even with negative associations.

It took me another 20 years to fully appreciate what it might be like to be 18 years old and freezing to death in a foxhole in France for the freedom of my country. With the help of the author Stephen Ambrose, director Steven Spielberg, who produced “Band of Brothers,” and others, I have learned what hardship these soldiers (and all soldiers) endure and how it affects an entire nation of people for generations.

When my Uncle Bud died a few years ago, the entire family was shocked to learn that he had earned a Purple Heart in World War II. This news surfaced in the obituary in his local newspaper in Bangor, Maine, where he had lived his entire life. My Uncle Bud was a very happy go-lucky guy. He worked for the railroad hauling freight for many years, despite the fact that he lived with bits of shrapnel embedded in his left side for 62 years. He never complained, and he never talked about his experiences in the war.

My husband’s father served in the army in the Philippines. We know he witnessed many atrocities, but he never talked about his experiences either. This tack was typical of World War II veterans and, because they didn’t share their experiences, we often never knew how brave they were and how they coped with daily life in such difficult conditions.

Today, our soldiers fight in Iraq and Afghanistan. Sometimes I turn on the very end of the nightly news on public television just to witness the acknowledgment—in pictures, names, ages and place of birth—of the soldiers who have died in the past week. Public broadcasting shows these pictures in silence as a way of honoring them. I do this to be reminded of these young people who enlisted to make a better life for themselves and for others. It is a way for me to remember that life is brief and to appreciate the freedom that I have.

This week, your challenge is to honor those who have died in service to others. Maybe it was a policeman you knew or a great uncle who died in the second World War. Perhaps you honor a fireman who died trying to save others or a colleague’s son who never made it back from his tour of duty in Iraq.

We have so few times in our lives when we stop to honor others, and this week gives us a rare opportunity. Light a candle or say a prayer; meditate on the spirits of these brave people, or educate yourself about some of their experiences: whatever is meaningful for you.

We all know someone who has been touched by war or tragedy and the courageous people who, in a brave act of service, have given their lives. Let’s take a moment and bless them in memoriam.

Have a great week!

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

© Copyright 2008 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights reserved.

Good day, team,

This week, I learned about a situation that one of my friends is experiencing which I can only define as scary. I’ll call it “management by electronic device.” My friend’s boss sent a series of e-mails, reprimanding him and his peers for not meeting a deadline and giving them strict orders to do very specific things to remedy the situation.

Frankly, I was appalled. These two people work in the same location, and yet it seems that, with their travel schedules, their ability to see each other face to face is limited. And, what surprised me most was that my friend’s boss didn’t even call him on the phone, but chose to use e-mail instead. Is it any wonder that people have trouble communicating, let alone trusting each other, when their major means of communication is through an electronic device?

Mobile devices are wonderful tools, but they are a mixed blessing. We’ve gotten so used to having mobile access that it becomes harder and harder to “get off the grid,” so to speak, and enjoy some peace and quiet.

Recently, my husband and I traveled to Mexico. We got on an airplane, flew for five hours, then rented a car and traveled for an hour and a half (the last six miles of which were dirt road) to a very remote place that uses solar panels, generators and propane to power itself.

When we went to check in, the owners of our hotel weren’t there, so we had to leave them a hand-written note and then, because we didn’t know what else to do, we went and had a beer. Computer and phone access is impossible there. What a relief! We left our laptops and cell phones behind as we enjoyed hour after hour of uninterrupted time on the beach and in the hammocks.

But here at home, I’ve gotten so used to carrying my cell phone wherever I go that it’s impossible for me to imagine what it would be like if I couldn’t call my clients on my way to meet them to confirm the appointment or find them if we end up in different places. Without a doubt, mobile technology has given me freedom I didn’t have before. I can be just about anywhere in the world and be in touch with clients, which is incredibly convenient. But when it comes to human interactions, phone contact pales in comparison to a face-to-face experience.

Your challenge this week is to increase the quantity and quality of your human interactions. Are you using your phone and e-mail so much that they’ve now become your major modes of communication with your co-workers? If that’s the case, build some time into your week so you can meet with people one on one or, at the very least, in a group.

If you travel a lot for your job, are you relying on your BlackBerry to be the main connection to your family? One of my clients sent text messages back and forth with his wife while he traveled. After he realized that he hadn’t actually spoken to her in awhile, he called and was surprised that she sounded so hoarse. When she told him she’d been fighting a cold for two weeks, he suddenly realized that he hadn’t spoken to her all that time. If you’re frequently out of sight, try using video conferencing or webcast technology to connect with people at home.

If you manage people, resist the urge to do it via e-mail. It’s degrading and, because tone of voice and facial expressions are absent on e-mail, your contacts’ ability to truly understand you is lost. Your message will come across as an instruction set, which is fine for computers but not human beings. And if you find that you’re one of those people who consistently uses emoticons on e-mail, it’s probably because you’re trying to express some feeling that would be much easier to convey in person. (Personally, those things remind me of Wal-Mart pricing specials 🙁 !)

Mobile technology has enabled us to communicate in many ways that we were unable to make use of just 20 years ago. It’s a wonderful tool. But the power of human presence is something that cannot be replaced. It fully empowers us and gives those around us the complete experience of who we are.

Have a great week!

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

© Copyright 2008 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights reserved.

Good day, team,

Recently, I’ve been thinking a lot about the contrast between the profile of success for leaders and managers 25 years ago versus today and how dramatically different it is.

For example, most of the successful leaders I knew back then were quite concerned about positioning themselves in their companies. Title, salary, number of direct reports, and number of people in your division were all extremely important, directly determining how much money and prestige you earned. Command and control was a common management philosophy, and “the guy in the corner office” was the person who held the most power. It was a scary thing to walk down the hallway to go see the boss: You needed to know exactly what you wanted to say so you didn’t waste his time.

How things have changed for today’s successful leaders and managers! Now a title more often identifies what someone is actually doing, rather than being a symbol of power. People can be individual contributors and make as much money as managers who have large divisions. Command and control is frowned upon, and the ability to communicate well and be versatile are key components of successful management. People look to their leaders to walk their talk, and when they don’t, they don’t trust them. And trust is one of the greatest motivators for today’s workforce. Leaders talk about the need for transparency so their people can trust their decisions.

The participation of women at all levels within companies has changed the “old boys’ club” forever. The strengths of relationship building and collaboration that women so often use in their daily interactions with others have changed the workplace significantly.

People’s ability to adapt quickly to new circumstances has become essential in the digital world. Today, successful business people are also agents of change, and they carry many tools in their toolbags. They are extremely flexible in their approach to people and issues and display a proactive, solution-based way of thinking and acting.

Here’s a great description from Mike Bonifer, the author of “GameChangers— Improvisation for Business in the Networked World,” written with co-founder Dr. Virginia Kuhn of GameChangers LLC.

“GameChangers are people who make a positive difference. As we move from the rigid, hierarchical business structures of the Industrial Age to the fluid, project-based models of the Networked World, GameChangers have never been more important or essential. Whenever teamwork, creativity, flexibility and problem-solving skills are necessary for success, these players step up. They develop relationships that are good for business. They pay careful attention to details and at the same time have the most expansive world views. They are quick-on-their-feet, unflappable and in tune with their stakeholders and the marketplace. They make moves that help their teams achieve their objectives. They are the top performers in any organization, the best managers, the most resourceful employees, the culture-shapers. They play the game and make things happen. In short, GameChangers are masters of improvisation in business.”

Your challenge this week is to consider how well you fit this description of a GameChanger. Are you becoming more flexible or more rigid in your thinking? How versatile is your management style? Do you always relate to people in a similar way, or can you change your communication and behavior depending on whom you’re working with? When was the last time you helped a team make a breakthrough by thinking differently about a problem rather than rehashing something in the same old way? Would your team members describe you as nimble, unflappable and a positive influencer?

As Bonifer writes, “GameChangers not only have the ability and courage to change the game, they let go of expectations about what the outcome of the game will be and focus on being productive in each and every moment, whether that means supporting their fellow players or making a bold move themselves.”

Have a great week!

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

© Copyright 2008 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights reserved.

Good morning, team,

The following challenge is inspired by Jan Foster, sales manager at XPLANE, who often sends me words of wisdom that she reads along the way.

The excerpt below reveals the philosophy of Charles Schultz, creator of the “Peanuts” comic strip. You don’t have to actually answer the questions. Just read the e-mail straight through, and you’ll get the point.

1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.

2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.

3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America pageant.

4. Name 10 people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer prize.

5. Name the last half-dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.

6. Name the last decade’s worth of World Series winners.

How did you do?

The point is, none of us remembers the headliners of yesterday. And these people aren’t second-rate achievers: They are the best in their field. But applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.

Here’s another quiz. See how you do on this one:

1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.

2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.

3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.

4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.

5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.

Easier?

The lesson: The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones who care about you.

Your challenge this week is to let these people know how much you appreciate having them in your life. Try extending yourself to others so they know you care about them too. It doesn’t have to be with banner headlines: Just, in some small way, let them know you’re there to help if they need it.

Many thanks to Jan for sharing the Schultz philosophy. She’s not only been a great client, but has referred many wonderful clients to me over the years. I appreciate her insights and amazing networking abiliities!

Have a great week!

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

© Copyright 2008 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights reserved.

Here is a challenge from the archives that seems appropriate again:

Good Day, Team,

The coach’s challenge for the week is inspired by a quote from Albert

Einstein: “A problem cannot be solved at the level of consciousness in

which it occurs.”

The challenge this week is to consider one problem you’re currently

dealing with and find a completely different way to solve it. To

create new ways of doing things, we have to think very differently

about possible solutions. This requires us to actually “see”

differently, that is, we must be able to look at our difficulties with

a completely different perspective in order to create new solutions to

them.

One of the great benefits of working on a team is that you can ask a

team member how she or he views a situation. In asking for another’s

point of view, we gain a different perspective, and this allows us to

see something in a new way. This then enables us to also seek a

different solution.

Changing your environment can alter your perspective, too. How often

have you found yourself sitting at your desk laboring over possible

solutions to a problem, just to find that your mind is continuing to

circle around the same solutions you’ve already tried that aren’t

working? If at that moment you decide to get up and take a short walk

outside, you can easily change your state of mind and have access to

more creative thoughts. It’s as though the cobwebs have cleared, and

you can literally see the problem and possible solutions in a different

light.

Try experimenting this week with different ways to solve a problem. If

you’re able to allow an outside influence to alter the way you see a

problem, you may find the right solution.

Have a great week!

Kathleen

Good day, team,

This week’s coach’s challenge is about learning to trust. When I first pondered this idea, I thought it was about trusting other people. But upon reflection, I realized that it was first about trusting myself and then trusting others. That is, we build trust by behaving reliably and by expecting the best from others.

We earn other peoples’ trust by doing what we say we’ll do. We act with care and consideration. We are dependable. We are known for our integrity. No hidden agenda causes us to give mixed messages to others. Our actions reflect our intentions.

We reinforce our trust in others by releasing skeptical thoughts about them. If we start out suspecting someone or something and entertain the suspicion long enough, we convince ourselves that it is the truth. But skepticism is usually more wrong than right. Thoreau noted, “We are always paid for our suspicion by finding what we suspect.” I think the opposite is also true: If we expect to trust other people, we will find something in them to trust.

This week, observe what you do to be trustworthy and also how much you trust your fellow team members. What are you doing to foster feelings of trust in others? Do you find yourself deceiving others either by lying, withholding key information, or telling stories that are untrue about yourself and others? Are you fooling yourself by thinking that others don’t see your deception? If you do trust others, how do you communicate that trust?

Trust is key to the development of any strong friendship, partnership or working relationship. Mutual trust and esteem are part of the foundation of all successful ventures. Look for ways this week to be more trustworthy and to be more trusting of others. You will find that much more is possible when we trust each other.

See if you can confirm the words of Francois de la Rochefoucauld: “The trust that we put in ourselves makes us feel trust in others.”

Have a great week!

Kathleen