May 13, 2007

Good day, team,

Over the past month, I’ve noticed some of my clients and friends have had long-held dreams come true. This has been gratifying to see. Each of us has dreams, and it’s wonderful to see our visions realized after many years of working toward them.

In one case, a friend recently purchased a home in France. She has been working toward this dream for more than 20 years. She started with a vision of what the house and surrounding property might look like. She thought about being able to walk to a lovely town somewhere in Central France where she could have her morning pastry and cafe au lait. She dreamed about growing lavender in her yard and watching the warm sun of the summer months light up her home. She envisioned her children and grandchildren visiting her in this lovely place, seated at a large wooden table filled with all the wonderful foods France has to offer along with good local wines. More than 20 years of dreaming, and now, it is a reality. Certainly, the dream is not complete yet. The house needs work and the property needs tending, but the dream is taking shape.

Her experience demonstrates the power of attraction at work in the world. That is, the more energy you put toward something, the more you get back. In this case, in the middle of working at an incredibly busy job, raising two children, and just trying to keep up with life’s daily challenges, my friend never gave up on her dream. Each year, she would find a way to go to France to immerse herself in the culture, discover new towns and areas she particularly liked, practice speaking the language, and make friends with the people. She found a way to a keep her dream alive.

In another case, a former client of mine has been steadily working toward growing a new business. For the past five years, he has invested his own money, slowly hired the right people, and continued to stay open-minded enough to be able to respond to new opportunities that the business has created. His original business plan has changed substantially, but by making consistent efforts and being able to change with market demands, he is attracting a new customer base that is helping to make the company successful.

Your challenge this week is to spend some time thinking about your dreams. Allow yourself to dream about what you’d love to do or where you’d like to go. Next, do one small thing to make the dream a reality. If you’ve always wanted to go on safari in Africa, spend some time researching tours on the Internet. If you’ve envisioned a vacation home on the coast or in the mountains, take a moment to draw your ideal house. If you find yourself dreaming about ways to improve your business, or your management style, look into courses you could take to make the improvements real.

Whatever it is, remember the power of attraction works in your favor the stronger your dream. And maybe the words from the song will encourage you: “When you wish upon a star, your dreams come true.”

Have a great week!

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

(c) Copyright 2007 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights reserved.

April 29, 2007

Good day, team,

I cannot let today go by without noting that April is poetry month. I have no idea who thought this designation up or when they decided it should be celebrated in April, but I’m acknowledging it because poetry has always been meaningful for me. Not that I love all poetry, but when I read a poem I do love, I’m reminded of some truth I already know, expressed in a way I’ve never seen. It speaks to me in a way that deeply touches me.

When I enjoy a poem, the words often create images in my mind that allow me to see something I hadn’t seen before, like looking at those strange drawings that appear to be one thing but, when you look at them more closely, actually represent something else: an image within an image. Poetry can capture a very simple moment or detail and give us insight into something much larger, reminding us how everything in this world is interconnected, as in these few words from Rumi about spring:

Step barefooted on the ground and make it giddy,
pregnant with joking and buds.
A Spring uproar rises into the stars.
The moon begins to wonder what’s going on.

Other people feel this way about music, or the visual arts, or dance, or prose: Engaging art gives them energy and provides them with new ways of relating to what’s true for them.

Your challenge this week is to find what you love and make some time for it. Whether it’s poetry or music or any other form of artistic expression, make time to enjoy it and allow it to speak to you.

Finally, I can’t let the month go by without sharing one of my favorite poems.

Wild Geese

You do not have to be good,
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on,
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting –
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

~ Mary Oliver

Have a great week!

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

(c) Copyright 2007 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights reserved.

March 03, 2007

Good day, team,

When I was out for a walk the other morning, I could see the buds emerging on the trees. Meanwhile, the wind was blowing, sleet was falling, and there were alternate moments of bright sun and grey skies.

Such is the weather in Portland this time of year. It can be confusing: One day feels like spring and the next like the dead of winter. But the baby buds sprouting with new life reminded me of the essential qualities of spring: growth and production. After the sleepiness of winter and its tendency to make us want to hibernate, spring offers a time of new possibilities and opportunity. We are encouraged by the sight of daffodils blooming and trees regaining their foliage. However, we’re not quite there yet, and we may feel unsettled during times of seasonal transition.

In February and the beginning of March, I often feel stale and stuck. Part of me still wants to burrow in while another part wants to grow toward something new. I begin to feel like I need to clean something-for example, my cluttered garage. Spring does that: It inspires us to make room for new things, to get rid of the cobwebs, open the windows and let the fresh air in. Although we still find ourselves wanting to sit by the fire with a cup of tea, we can also begin to think about how we can make the best use of the new season that’s right around the corner.

Your challenge this week is to think about the coming of spring and decide what you can do to renew yourself. Maybe it’s as simple as cleaning out your desk at work or changing a process that’s become outdated and uninspiring. Maybe you’re moving or changing jobs or going on a trip. Why not use the coming of spring to re-energize youself so you can make the most of these changes?

These early months are also a great time to make plans for both spring and summer. Whatever you do, it’s time to wake up from the lethargy that winter often brings and like the daffodils, show up! Make a plan, clean a drawer, decide on a new direction: Use the energy of spring to revitalize your life.

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

(c) Copyright 2007 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights reserved.

February 19, 2007

Good day Team,

For the past few weeks, I’ve been observing what appear to be opposites
co-existing, that is, seeing bad occur in good and good
occur in bad. They say that the most beautiful roses have the largest
thorns, and so, in nature we can see many examples of this.

We often see opposites occurring simultaneously in business as well as
life. For example, years ago my mother and step-father owned a real
estate business in So. California. They were very successful until the
bottom fell out of the market during a recession in the 1980s. Their
belief that the market would turn around led them to invest their
personal savings into the business. Eventually losing everything – they
suffered greatly and were forced to scale back in all areas of their
lives. However, as their wealth disappeared, their lives became simpler.
They learned how to save money again and live on very little. They
became happier when they had less ‘stuff’ to manage and more time to
spend with one another.

Now, they are much older and my step-father has experienced
several years of serious illness. Because their income is low, they have
qualified for Medicare. All of their medical expenses have been paid
for. If they had not lost most of their money, the medical expenses
incurred would have left them bankrupt. However, because they have
learned to live frugally and grown to enjoy the simpler things in life,
they have made the best of these years despite the hardships.

When I work with teams, I often see how one or two people in the group
play the role of the devil’s advocate. They disagree sometimes out of
habit or because their instinct tells them it’s important to resist the
direction of the rest of the group. As a facilitator, I often find this
irritating since I want the group to work harmoniously.

However, upon reflection, I have to admit that it usually makes the
group stronger when they encounter resistance and work through the
obstacles by the time the session is done. I’ve come to see that what I
think is bad for the group is often quite good. I just try to let go of
my desire to control the outcome and let it work itself out.

I have an elderly Mexican friend named Panchita. She
frequently says, “Bueno, bueno, bueno…malo, malo, malo”, meaning,
good, good, good…bad, bad, bad.” It’s a reminder that in all things
we find good and bad and thus, the balance of life is maintained. If we
ignore this possibility and act based upon a belief that things are
either purely good or purely bad, we are often disappointed by
unintended consequences of our “good deeds” and surprised by the
positive outcome of a “bad” situation.

Your challenge this week is to try to accept what is… whether it be
good or bad. Try seeing how in all things, there is balance between
positive and negative and how they often interact to make a better
outcome. When confronted with something bad or destructive, try allowing
it to manifest before making your attempt to change it or re-construct
it into something good.

As the poet Ranier Maria Rilke wrote, “The most wonderful aspect of life
still seems to me that some course and crude intervention and even
blatant violation can become the occasion for establishing a new order
within us. This is indeed the most superb achievement of our vitality:
that it interprets evil as something good and quite actually inverts the
two.”

Have a great week!

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

(c) copyright 2007 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights
reserved.

January 27, 2007

Good day, team,

The theme of the January 2007 special issue of the Harvard Business Review is “The Tests of a Leader.” In the article “What to Ask the Person in the Mirror,” I found a quote that I want to share with you this week.

“While your direct reports know what you are doing wrong, most of them are not dying to tell you. It takes a concerted effort to cultivate subordinates who will advise and coach you.”

I thought about this statement in relation to the managers I work with, and I found that it’s invariably true. For fear of reprisal, we don’t tell our bosses what we really think of them and their performance. And yet, because we work with them every day and are affected by their decisions, we have many observations that would help them do a better job. However, these observations are not easy to hear. And often, they’re even harder to say.

By developing a network of fellow team members and subordinates who can give us honest feedback, we can modify our behavior throughout the year and avoid year-end surprises in our performance reviews. More importantly, we can build more honest and open communication with the people we work with and trust.

Wise companies dedicate a portion of a manager’s performance review to what team members need from their boss; for example, the question might read, “As your boss, what can I do to help you be more successful and what do I need to change?”

This week, try asking for more direct feedback from your subordinates or your teammates. I’m sure you’ll meet resistance when you ask, “What should I be doing differently?” or “What can I change that will help us both be more successful?” After an awkward silence, your team member might come up with a suggestion that’s devastating to hear. But remember, the sting of a reproach is the truth in it.

What you do with this feedback is critical. If you act on it, you will improve your performance. And, more important, you will take a big step toward building trust and laying the groundwork for a continued channel of open and honest feedback. When your team members see you respond to their suggestions, they will feel empowered and take some ownership in your success. After all, who can resist the Three Musketeers’ rallying cry: “One for all, and all for one!”

Have a great week!

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

(c) Copyright 2007 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights reserved.

January 21, 2007

Good day, team,

This week, I read a magazine article about top chefs in America. One of those interviewed, Thomas Keller, who started the famous “French Laundry” restaurant in Napa Valley and now runs “Per Se” in New York, is known throughout the world for his perfectionism. He’s one of the few chef’s who has earned a combined six Michelin stars.

In the interview, he said something that really struck me: “I tell cooks it’s about four things: awareness, inspiration, intellect and evolution.” When I read this statement, it occured to me that these are four of the five traits I consider to be most important in a leader. The fifth is “clarity.”

Without awareness, people miss what’s right in front of them as well as the benefit of self-observation. Without inspiration, they themselves are unable to inspire others to want to do more and be more. Without the intellect that comes from book and street smarts, it’s hard to keep up in today’s global world. Without the willingness to evolve as things change, people lose their flexibility. And without clarity, it’s hard for people to see the truth in a situation and communicate it in such a way that most people understand it. All of the good leaders I know embody these qualities.

Your challenge this week is to choose one of these attributes and make an effort to enhance it within yourself. If the trait is awareness, try being more present in each moment. Just look out of your eyes and feel your feet on the floor. Or maybe you become present to your breath. Try using whatever brings you back to the moment so you don’t miss what’s happening around you.

Maybe you’d like to be more inspirational to the people you work with. What do you love doing every day and how do you let others know that it gives you energy? Try sharing what energizes you.

How about increasing your knowledge about a subject and finding a way to share that with others? Have you learned something new that you’d like to share with a colleague?

Consider your evolution. Are you growing as conditions change and as you mature in your current job or life situation? If you feel stagnant, how can you jump-start your evolution by approaching something in a new way and challenging yourself differently? Are you someone who acts as a change agent within your organization?

Finally, how clear are you in your thoughts and words? Are you able to see through many extraneous facts to the heart of the matter and then clearly communicate what you see? Ask a co-worker what he or she thinks of your communication skills. Find out whether people understand what you’re saying. It may be a lack of clarity that makes it difficult for others to understand what you mean.

Whatever quality you choose, don’t be afraid to experiment. It’s through trial and error that we learn how to change the way we do things and thus gain a new perspective about ourselves and the world around us.

The article on top chefs noted that Thomas Keller had stood on a chair to sift confectionary sugar onto a cake to see if it would look more like fallen snow. Sure enough, the picture of the scrumptious-looking chocolate cake in the magazine looked just like snow had fallen on it. I was inspired by Keller’s creativity, adventurousness and commitment to making the most beautiful cake he could make.

Have a great week!

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

c copyright 2007 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights reserved.
ci

January 15, 2007

Good day, team,

It’s always interesting to see what happens when people with different agendas, opinions and viewpoints get into a room and try to agree on what should be done and how to do it. Often, there’s general consensus about what needs to be done in the long term. The greater differences lie in how the work should get done in the short term. We all have strong ideas about how to do things, and these ideas show up in meetings where teams are trying to create a roadmap for moving forward.
This process reminds me of occasions when I fought with my older sister over which one of us would do something. For example, if one of us got a present for Christmas that required assembly, we would both grab the item and then fight over who knew best how to put it together. Or our parents might ask one of us to do something, and the other would jump up and say, “I’ll do it!” It seems that it’s a challenge for all of us to allow someone else to figure something out, when we’re convinced we know how to do it better and can just get it done in alot less time. I know this is one of the greatest challenges of management… allowing your people to take the time to fully understand and do something that would only take you minutes to complete. Envy, competitiveness and stubbornness are just of few of the emotions we experience in these situations.

The same emotions overtake us in meetings when we’re convinced that our solution is the best, and we fight to convince everyone else to go along. Of course, if lots of people in the meeting feel they have the best answer, it becomes less a meeting than a fencing match, an opportunity to “thrust and parry.” In the heat of battle, the strategies for winning an argument can overtake the topic itself, and the possibility of reaching consensus may disappear.

This week, when you attend a meeting where a decision must be made, try considering how you can participate in a way that’s best for the team, rather than best or most gratifying for you. If the intention is to reach consensus, perhaps your best course of action is no action at all. Although you may be tempted to make your point or defend your position, these actions might take the team further away from consensus. Try to attend a meeting intent on supporting someone else’s ideas. Or try not saying anything when you feel as though your idea is the best solution for the team.
Have a great week!

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

(c) copyright 2007 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights reserved.

January 07, 2007

Good morning, team,

The word “integrity” is used a lot in business. It’s how we refer to people who exhibit the wonderful qualities of trustworthiness, dependability and honesty. Sometimes we use it to describe a process or purpose, such as “the integrity of a work product” or “integrity of purpose.”

Though we esteem integrity and recognize it in action, it’s often difficult to put into words. Here’s my definition: To have integrity means to act in alignment with your values. For example, if you value respect, then you experience it within yourself, and you treat yourself and others with respect. Simply put, who you are internally becomes who you are externally. Thus, your external life becomes a reflection of your inner life, and the two are integrated, connected, mirrors of each other. Once you begin to act with integrity in your life, it becomes increasingly difficult to act without it. As Tom Peters wrote, “There is no such thing as a minor lapse of integrity.”

This week’s challenge is to think about what you value most and then make efforts to live in alignment with those values. Do your actions portray who you really are and what’s most important to you? If freedom is important to you, how does that show up in your life? Do you feel free in your relationships, free at work, free in your thinking? Maybe it’s family that’s most important to you. Do you make enough time for family? And if you can’t give them a lot of your time, in what other ways do you show your family that you value them highly? If you value your co-workers, how do you demonstrate that inner priority? Maybe it’s as simple as always making the effort to show up on time for meetings with them.

If we don’t live in accordance with what’s most important, we can find ourselves angry and frustrated. This week, begin to ask yourself how you can live your life with more integrity and to make small efforts each day to do so.

“You don’t need to train people in all these competencies of leadership. You need to help them identify their values, develop “who” they are, and then share and act from their values within the organization.” Kevin Cashman, President of LeaderSource Co.

Have a great week!

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

(c) copyright 2007 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights reserved.

December 17, 2006

Good day, team,

As we approach the end of 2006, I am contemplating the three stages of change: endings, transitions and beginnings. The holidays give us a chance to rehearse the three stages, as we mark the end of one year with parties, enjoy some time off to absorb the transition, and then celebrate the new beginning, usually accompanied quickly by resolutions to improve!

In addition to being festive, these rituals are important psychologically. If we don’t allow ourselves to fully experience each of the aspects of change, we may take actions we later regret because of our unresolved attachment to what came before.

The classic case of this confused process of change is known as rebounding: ending one significant relationship and starting another right away. If we don’t allow ourselves any time of transition between one person and the next, we miss the chance to digest what happened in the old relationship and learn from our mistakes. All too often, we then “jump from the frying pan into the fire,” repeating unsuccessful patterns of behavior and regretting the entire set of changes that have taken place.

So now is the perfect time to take a look at where we are in the stages of change. What do we need to let go of so we can move forward more productively? Where are we facing transitions and how can we help ourselves be patient during that state of limbo? How do we recognize when a new beginning has taken form, even if we didn’t initiate it? What do we need to do to commit to the new beginning?

For most people, change brings fear, and fear can paralyze us, preventing us from making necessary changes. Often we’ll hold on to things that no longer serve us just because they are familiar.

However, it helps to know that fear is predictable in times of change and that it doesn’t need to be the main force in our decision-making. If we can identify the things we need to let go of, we can make space for something new to enter.

Your challenge this week is to identify where you are in the change process. Are you letting go of something that needs to end? Are you suspended between what was and what is to come? Perhaps you are starting something new and learning how to deal with the challenges and opportunities that it brings.

Wherever you are in the process of change, try not to rush any stage because you’re uncomfortable being where you are. All things change, and sooner or later, this part of the process will too. It’s predictable!

Have a great week!

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

P.S. -The coach will be on vacation from Dec. 24 to Jan. 2. The next challenge will appear the week of Jan. 7. I hope you all have happy holidays filled with light and love! k.

December 10, 2006

Good day, team,

Part of my morning walk includes strolling through the park not far from my home; I especially love the large trees and duck pond there.

One morning last week, I could hear music playing somewhere near the duck pond. The sound was faint, so I couldn’t make out what I was hearing, but I headed for it anyway.

As I approached the pond, I saw a man sitting on a park bench with a horde of ducks and geese surrounding him. At first it seemed odd, that all of the birds were out of the pond and at his feet, but I thought perhaps he was feeding them.

As I got closer, I saw that the man was dressed shabbily and drinking something from a bottle in a brown paper bag. I immediately thought, “This guy is homeless and a drunk.” That combination spells danger to me, so I turned in the other direction.

As I began to walk away, the music began again, and the birds began to chime in. I turned around to have another look. The man I’d made sure to avoid was playing a harmonica-he played extremely well-and as he did, the ducks would quack, quack, quack and the geese would honk, honk, honk. Even a seagull let out a screech.

The birds were completely drawn in by this fellow’s music. When he stopped playing to take another drink, they stopped too. But they stayed right where they were, in silence, cocking their heads and staring intensely at him, as if waiting for him to play. When he began again, they chimed right in with their honks and quacks and screeches. It was quite a cacophony of sound.

The entire scene made me laugh. What an unexpected pleasure, to see these birds treating this man like he was the Pied Piper! I was glad they had helped me look at him a second time and see an entirely different dimension. Maybe he was a homeless drunk and maybe not-for all I knew he was drinking apple juice out of that bag and had worn his old clothes to the park that day-but he was definitely the music-maker for the birds, and they were completely enthralled by him and his music.

I learned two lessons on my walk that morning. First, how easy it is to make snap judgments about other people. The mind is excellent at identifying things and defining people based on quick observations. However, we often miss the opportunity to see more about another person when we make a quick judgment and leave it at that.

Second, I understood that respecting others really does mean being willing to take a second look. The word “re-spect” literally means to “look again.” If I hadn’t been willing to look at the man on the bench a second time, I wouldn’t have enjoyed the unexpected delight he brought to the birds and to me while being so entertaining.

Your challenge this week is to try not to make snap judgments. Try to be willing to respect others enough to look at them again in a new way, with open eyes that can see something different about them. Your first thought about someone might be right, but it could also be a misjudgment and if so, you may miss the chance to see another dimension of that person’s character. He or she might just surprise and delight you and, just like the birds, you might experience an event that makes you want to sing!

Have a great week!

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249