Good day team,

Over the years, I have recommended a wonderful book to many of my clients called “The Four Agreements”, by Don Miguel Ruiz. Sr. Ruiz describes four agreements you can make with yourself to improve your life and your relationship to it. For those of you who have not read this book, I highly recommend it. Recently, I’ve been thinking a lot about the third agreement, ‘don’t make assumptions’.
One of the assumptions we often make is that the political and social freedoms we enjoy in the United States are guaranteed. I notice that this assumption comes from being born in a free country. Because ‘it’s always been this way’, we just assume it will continue. But, you don’t have to travel very far in this world to find yourself in a place where you cannot do as you please. The simple exercise of going out for a daily newspaper may land you in jail for an undetermined period of time, with no liberation in sight.

Connected to our assumption of living in a free country is the notion that we also have free will, i.e. the ability to think and feel as we wish and act in a manner that best reflects our conscious attitudes. However, I often work with people who relinquish their personal freedom to the will and power of others. They exhibit a lack of empowerment and a sense of enslavement. I’m not talking about the simple resentment that results from doing what someone else reasonably asks us to do when we don’t want to (we’ve all had that experience). I’m referring to the effects of the bullying behavior that wears people down to the point where they disengage emotionally and intellectually. By submitting to bullying, they relinquish their freedom. They just go through the motions without any commitment and, as the days wear on, feel more and more disheartened and disempowered. Max Stirner wrote, “Whoever will be free must make himself free. Freedom is no fairy gift to fall into a man’s lap. What is freedom? To have the will to be responsible for one’s self. ”

Ironically, I know people who live in countries where many of the basic freedoms we have in the US don’t exist, and yet, in many ways they have more personal freedom than some of my friends here at home – simply because the work they do and the personal lives they lead reflect their love of life.

This week, your challenge is to celebrate your freedom in whatever way seems appropriate for you. Perhaps you will remind your co-workers about the importance of taking ownership for something and seeing how lucky you are to work in an environment where that activity is supported. Maybe you will remind your children about the value of freedom and the appreciation you have for living in a free country. Try thinking about all the freedoms you take for granted. Beware of indolence, carelessness or cowardice in regards to your inherent freedoms as a human being.

Our founding fathers had to fight for our ability to live in a free country, so celebrating their victories and acknowledging their sacrifices is a way of honoring their efforts. As Thomas Paine wrote, “Those who expect to reap the blessing of freedom must undertake to support it.”

Have a great week!

Note: The coach will be traveling on business and then taking a week’s vacation this month. The next coach’s challenge will be sent out the
week of July 30, 2007.

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

(c) Copyright 2007 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights reserved.

Good day, team,

This week, I was working with a team that put together an activity that challenged another group within the company. They went all out: rented a large space in a beautiful park, provided a barbeque, and came up with lots of games that the two teams could play in which they competed head to head. Each group had its own t-shirts to identify one team from another so the “cheerleaders” could root for the right team member.

There was volleyball, soccer and a variety of large, overinflated rubber play stations, as I call them, in which people can compete and not get hurt. There was some crazy game in which a person gets tied to a bungee cord in an inflated play station with two lanes for running. The opponents try to run up their lanes while still attached to the bungee cord and put a baton on some Velcro before the opposing player can do so. It was a hoot to watch as people ran as hard as they could, only to get suddenly yanked back by a bungee cord into a big pillow of large rubber bumpers.

At one point, I stood back to survey the scene. I realized that there’s nothing like the spirit of competition, particularly when we’re engaged mentally, physically and emotionally, to bring out the best in what it means to be a team player.

I often wish that that same spirit of team work and camaraderie would be as apparent when people are sitting in a meeting together and trying to agree on a process or business decision. I wonder if, when we’re engaged only intellectually, the very nature of our intellect leads us to become overly analytical and, rather than supporting our fellow team members, we become critical of them. Engage your whole self, and many more parts of your nature show up.

This week, your challenge is to think of ways to engage your team members differently. If they haven’t experienced each other in a completely different environment recently, consider taking them off-site. Maybe you go rafting or challenge another team to a softball game. Miniature golf is ridiculously funny, and you could also try signing up for nine or 18 holes. If you can’t afford to take the team off-site, think about setting up a competition within your work space just to get people working together differently. Consider taking them outside, even if it’s just lunch in the park for a few hours, to change their view.

The day after this company’s outing in the park, the energy in the office was completely different. People were talking and laughing about the events of the day before. They shared pictures online and told lots of stories: “Did you see when he kicked that goal?” and “It was so funny to see the expression on her face when she won!” People were energized in a lively way, and there was a sense of renewal everywhere in the office.

It’s that time of year when people take vacations and try to renew themselves. Don’t forget, your teams need to be re-created and restored as well.

Have a great week!

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

(c) Copyright 2007 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights reserved.

Good day, team,

I read a short story yesterday that I wanted to share with you.

You are eight years old. It is Sunday evening. You have been granted an extra hour before bed. The family is playing Monopoly. You have been told you are big enough to join them. You begin to lose. You are losing continuously. Your stomach cramps with fear: The pile of money in front of you is almost gone. Your brothers are snatching all the houses from your streets. The last street is being sold. You have to give in. You have lost.

And suddenly you remember that it is only a game. You jump up with joy, and you accidentally knock the lamp over. It falls on the floor and drags the teapot with it. The others are angry, but you laugh when you go upstairs.

You know, for you have seen the joy of being nothing and having nothing. And that knowledge gives you an immeasurable freedom.

-Janwillem van de Wetering

This lovely story comes from a book called “The Art of Forgiveness, Lovingkindness and Peace” by Jack Kornfield. It’s a collection of poems, stories and sayings about these subjects. His lesson from this story is “With a big picture, life becomes a play.”

Your challenge this week is to see how your life is like a play. There are days when we win and days when we lose. And, all along, we continue to play our parts the best we can. When I read this story, I actually could feel the anger and frustration in my heart that the child was experiencing when losing. I have vivid memories of playing Monopoly and losing, and I really hate to lose!

As the story progressed, I found that I was breathing more easily as I read about the lamp falling and the teapot spilling-life can be a tragedy one moment and then quite a comic scene the next. That’s the way it is, and holding on to any portion of it often brings us great suffering. None of us picture ourselves as losers. In our mind, we’re all winners. But if we enlarge that picture to include the entire drama, we realize that we play many parts, some of which involve not winning or losing but learning something new that we didn’t expect.

This week, choose some aspect of your life to which you’d like to apply a more objective view. Maybe you feel that you’re losing a battle at work-someone is winning out over you. Ask yourself, “What am I really losing?” As my father used to say, “Where’s the blood?” Is this situation really harming you in such a way that it’s life-threatening? Probably not. Perhaps in this scene you’re playing the part of someone who’s learning about humility. Try learning as much about it as you can before the scene changes again. Perhaps you are winning in this particular scene, and therefore your heart fills with pride. So be it. Wear it proudly until the scene changes again.

I’ll always try to win at Monopoly, and I’m sure I’ll always hate to lose. But if I can remember that’s it just a game, it tends to take the sting out of the loss. I’ll still wake up the next day, the sun will still rise, and the play will continue. There will be a new scene with new costumes and new actors, and my challenge will be to continue to play my part the best I can and not to be attached to the outcome.

Have a great week!

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

(c) Copyright 2007 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights reserved.

Good day, team,

This week, I’d like to talk about empowerment, a word that’s used a lot in business these days. Here’s one definition:

“Empowerment refers to increasing the spiritual, political, social or economic strength of individuals and communities. It often involves the empowered developing confidence in their own capacities.”

Recent research suggests that exercising personal discretion and completing meaningful work engages employees and contributes to their well-being. There is evidence (Thomas and Velthouse, 1990) that initiative and motivation increase when people can control their circumstances. This empowerment influences their belief in themselves, resilience when faced with set-backs, and ability to visualize themselves overcoming problems. Many employers value and encourage the personal development-continuous learning, increased self-awareness and emotional intelligence-that fosters individual empowerment.

So what tends to make us feel like our power is being taken away? Certainly, situations in which we can clearly see that others are not telling the truth or we feel that telling the truth ourselves would bring us harm. Perhaps the truth is plain to see, but no one is addressing it: the elephant in the room. Perhaps we experience the emperor with no clothes phenomenon: people who present themselves one way, when in fact, they are exactly the opposite, and everyone pretends that what’s obvious isn’t there.

We can lose our power in more subtle ways as well; for example, if we’re asked to support a company policy or decision that we know is not right. If we don’t support it, we fear we might be left out or ostracized, part of that unenviable group of people who are no longer promoted or sought out for advice. We also lose power by pretending. A client of mine who attended a Harvard University executive program saw this graffiti in the men’s bathroom: “What are we pretending not to know?” This is a wonderful question in regard to empowerment. If our energy goes into pretending that we don’t know something, it’s usually because we are afraid to say what we do know. It’s that fear that robs us of our inherent power in the moment to act on the truth.

Is it possible to maintain our power and dignity in these circumstances without jeopardizing our livelihood and careers? I believe that empowerment has everything to do with how we feel about ourselves each moment. You may be sitting in a meeting and the elephant hooting loudly, with no one even glancing at it, thinking to yourself, “Why is everyone in denial about this when it’s so plain to see?” It doesn’t necessarily mean you need to be the one person in the room who reveals that which is so obvious. I do believe it’s important not to ignore what you know. It’s also important to assess a situation and act according to your intuition. Sometimes it’s appropriate to let the emperor know he’s naked, and other times it’s not. But having the courage to act when we know it’s appropriate is how we keep our power intact. To be empowered is to not lose our internal weathervane, no matter which way the wind is blowing.

Empowerment is ultimately driven by our belief that we can influence events. Practices such as yoga and meditation that increase self-awareness and awareness of the world around us help us to feel connected in a way that increases our personal power. Contemplation and prayer can do the same.

This week, try not to lose your power. Whether it’s to another person or a situation, try holding to what you know is true and to not be afraid of that knowledge and the actions that may spring from it. As one of my favorite poets, Rainer Maria Rilke, wrote, “Take your practiced powers and stretch them out until they span the chasm between two contradictions… .for God wants to know himself in you.”

Have a great week!

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

(c) Copyright 2007 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights reserved.

Good day team,

Back by popular demand, this coach’s challenge was originally sent out in Feburary of 2005. It was written by my fellow coach, Kate Dwyer and I have had many requests to re-send it.
> The coach’s challenge for the week is inspired by a quote from Albert
> Einstein: “A problem cannot be solved at the level of consciousness in
> which it occurs.”
>
> The challenge this week is to consider one problem you’re currently
> dealing with and find a completely different way to solve it. To
> create new ways of doing things, we have to think very differently
> about possible solutions. This requires us to actually “see”
> differently, that is, we must be able to look at our difficulties with
> a completely different perspective in order to create new solutions to
> them.
>
>
> One of the great benefits of working on a team is that you can ask a
> team member how she or he views a situation. In asking for another’s
> point of view, we gain a different perspective, and this allows us to
> see something in a new way. This then enables us to also seek a
> different solution.
>
>
> Changing your environment can alter your perspective, too. How often
> have you found yourself sitting at your desk laboring over possible
> solutions to a problem, just to find that your mind is continuing to
> circle around the same solutions you’ve already tried that aren’t
> working? If at that moment you decide to get up and take a short walk
> outside, you can easily change your state of mind and have access to
> more creative thoughts. It’s as though the cobwebs have cleared, and
> you can literally see the problem and possible solutions in a different
> light.
>
>
> Try experimenting this week with different ways to solve a problem. If
> you’re able to allow an outside influence to alter the way you see a
> problem, you may find the right solution.

Have a great week!

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinder’s Coaching
(503) 296-98249

(c) Copyright 2007 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights
reserved.

Good day team,

Here’s a challenge that I wrote last year while working on a presentation about teams. I think it’s the right time to share it again.

> The coach’s challenge this week comes from some material I gathered for a team off-site I helped facilitate this past week. It’s entitled “The Truth About Teams”. These truths are presented in an article I read in a special edition of Fortune magazine entitled “Team Work”. These are certainly not the only team truths, but these are some good ones.
>
> THE TRUTH ABOUT TEAMS
>
> TRUST IS THE MOST FUNDAMENTAL ELEMENT OF A WINNING TEAM
>
> If people think their teammates are lying, withholding information, plotting to knife them, or are just incompetent, nothing will get done.
>
> TEAMS CANNOT TOLERATE COMPETING AGENDAS
>
> It’s important for people to create a vision for their success and be pro-active about realizing that vision. But, if there are competing visions within the same team, the team will fail in achieving it’s overall goals and objectives. We are all competitive when it comes to what we think is important. When team members compete to get their personal agendas put front and center, the entire team suffers.
>
> TEAMS CANNOT THRIVE WHEN CONFLICTS FESTER
>
> If we can’t be open and honest with each other, when conflict does occur we hold it inside and it becomes resentment. It’s healthy to wrestle with each other from time to time. That way we can bring tensions out in the open and resolve them in the moment. Once the air is cleared, we can get back to business.
>
> TEAMS CAN’T HIDE FROM THE REAL ISSUES
>
> “Put the fish on the table,” says George Kohlrieser, a professor at the International Institute for Management Development in Switzerland. You’ve got to go through the “smelly, bloody process of cleaning it”, but the reward is a “great fish dinner at the end of the day.” Most people don’t want to put the proverbial fish on the table. But if you don’t express your real feelings about the most important issues, they are never dealt with.
>
> BEWARE THE SUBTLE SPIN
>
> Watch out for the desire to always make yourself look good when it comes at the expense of others. We all tend to put a subtle spin on information to make us appear better than others. We may look good in the end, but the people who suffer are our teammates and it makes the team look bad. Know how to share credit and shoulder blame.
>
> DREAM TEAMS DON’T REALLY EXIST
>
> Be prepared to have an imperfect set. Know that you will always have to devote a considerable amount of time and energy to get them to synchronize. That’s what management is all about. Putting together a few talented people who will work honestly and rigorously for something greater than themselves – that’s more than enough of a dream.
>
>
> Your challenge this week is to choose one of these “truths”, see of you can observe it to be true with your team, and work on it.
>
> Have a great week!
>
> Kathleen
>
> Kathleen Doyle-White
> Pathfinders Coaching
> (503) 296-9249
>

Good day, team,

Over the past month, I’ve noticed some of my clients and friends have had long-held dreams come true. This has been gratifying to see. Each of us has dreams, and it’s wonderful to see our visions realized after many years of working toward them.

In one case, a friend recently purchased a home in France. She has been working toward this dream for more than 20 years. She started with a vision of what the house and surrounding property might look like. She thought about being able to walk to a lovely town somewhere in Central France where she could have her morning pastry and cafe au lait. She dreamed about growing lavender in her yard and watching the warm sun of the summer months light up her home. She envisioned her children and grandchildren visiting her in this lovely place, seated at a large wooden table filled with all the wonderful foods France has to offer along with good local wines. More than 20 years of dreaming, and now, it is a reality. Certainly, the dream is not complete yet. The house needs work and the property needs tending, but the dream is taking shape.

Her experience demonstrates the power of attraction at work in the world. That is, the more energy you put toward something, the more you get back. In this case, in the middle of working at an incredibly busy job, raising two children, and just trying to keep up with life’s daily challenges, my friend never gave up on her dream. Each year, she would find a way to go to France to immerse herself in the culture, discover new towns and areas she particularly liked, practice speaking the language, and make friends with the people. She found a way to a keep her dream alive.

In another case, a former client of mine has been steadily working toward growing a new business. For the past five years, he has invested his own money, slowly hired the right people, and continued to stay open-minded enough to be able to respond to new opportunities that the business has created. His original business plan has changed substantially, but by making consistent efforts and being able to change with market demands, he is attracting a new customer base that is helping to make the company successful.

Your challenge this week is to spend some time thinking about your dreams. Allow yourself to dream about what you’d love to do or where you’d like to go. Next, do one small thing to make the dream a reality. If you’ve always wanted to go on safari in Africa, spend some time researching tours on the Internet. If you’ve envisioned a vacation home on the coast or in the mountains, take a moment to draw your ideal house. If you find yourself dreaming about ways to improve your business, or your management style, look into courses you could take to make the improvements real.

Whatever it is, remember the power of attraction works in your favor the stronger your dream. And maybe the words from the song will encourage you: “When you wish upon a star, your dreams come true.”

Have a great week!

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

(c) Copyright 2007 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights reserved.

Good day, team,

I cannot let today go by without noting that April is poetry month. I have no idea who thought this designation up or when they decided it should be celebrated in April, but I’m acknowledging it because poetry has always been meaningful for me. Not that I love all poetry, but when I read a poem I do love, I’m reminded of some truth I already know, expressed in a way I’ve never seen. It speaks to me in a way that deeply touches me.

When I enjoy a poem, the words often create images in my mind that allow me to see something I hadn’t seen before, like looking at those strange drawings that appear to be one thing but, when you look at them more closely, actually represent something else: an image within an image. Poetry can capture a very simple moment or detail and give us insight into something much larger, reminding us how everything in this world is interconnected, as in these few words from Rumi about spring:

Step barefooted on the ground and make it giddy,
pregnant with joking and buds.
A Spring uproar rises into the stars.
The moon begins to wonder what’s going on.

Other people feel this way about music, or the visual arts, or dance, or prose: Engaging art gives them energy and provides them with new ways of relating to what’s true for them.

Your challenge this week is to find what you love and make some time for it. Whether it’s poetry or music or any other form of artistic expression, make time to enjoy it and allow it to speak to you.

Finally, I can’t let the month go by without sharing one of my favorite poems.

Wild Geese

You do not have to be good,
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on,
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting –
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

~ Mary Oliver

Have a great week!

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

(c) Copyright 2007 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights reserved.

Good day, team,

When I was out for a walk the other morning, I could see the buds emerging on the trees. Meanwhile, the wind was blowing, sleet was falling, and there were alternate moments of bright sun and grey skies.

Such is the weather in Portland this time of year. It can be confusing: One day feels like spring and the next like the dead of winter. But the baby buds sprouting with new life reminded me of the essential qualities of spring: growth and production. After the sleepiness of winter and its tendency to make us want to hibernate, spring offers a time of new possibilities and opportunity. We are encouraged by the sight of daffodils blooming and trees regaining their foliage. However, we’re not quite there yet, and we may feel unsettled during times of seasonal transition.

In February and the beginning of March, I often feel stale and stuck. Part of me still wants to burrow in while another part wants to grow toward something new. I begin to feel like I need to clean something-for example, my cluttered garage. Spring does that: It inspires us to make room for new things, to get rid of the cobwebs, open the windows and let the fresh air in. Although we still find ourselves wanting to sit by the fire with a cup of tea, we can also begin to think about how we can make the best use of the new season that’s right around the corner.

Your challenge this week is to think about the coming of spring and decide what you can do to renew yourself. Maybe it’s as simple as cleaning out your desk at work or changing a process that’s become outdated and uninspiring. Maybe you’re moving or changing jobs or going on a trip. Why not use the coming of spring to re-energize youself so you can make the most of these changes?

These early months are also a great time to make plans for both spring and summer. Whatever you do, it’s time to wake up from the lethargy that winter often brings and like the daffodils, show up! Make a plan, clean a drawer, decide on a new direction: Use the energy of spring to revitalize your life.

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

(c) Copyright 2007 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights reserved.

Good day Team,

For the past few weeks, I’ve been observing what appear to be opposites
co-existing, that is, seeing bad occur in good and good
occur in bad. They say that the most beautiful roses have the largest
thorns, and so, in nature we can see many examples of this.

We often see opposites occurring simultaneously in business as well as
life. For example, years ago my mother and step-father owned a real
estate business in So. California. They were very successful until the
bottom fell out of the market during a recession in the 1980s. Their
belief that the market would turn around led them to invest their
personal savings into the business. Eventually losing everything – they
suffered greatly and were forced to scale back in all areas of their
lives. However, as their wealth disappeared, their lives became simpler.
They learned how to save money again and live on very little. They
became happier when they had less ‘stuff’ to manage and more time to
spend with one another.

Now, they are much older and my step-father has experienced
several years of serious illness. Because their income is low, they have
qualified for Medicare. All of their medical expenses have been paid
for. If they had not lost most of their money, the medical expenses
incurred would have left them bankrupt. However, because they have
learned to live frugally and grown to enjoy the simpler things in life,
they have made the best of these years despite the hardships.

When I work with teams, I often see how one or two people in the group
play the role of the devil’s advocate. They disagree sometimes out of
habit or because their instinct tells them it’s important to resist the
direction of the rest of the group. As a facilitator, I often find this
irritating since I want the group to work harmoniously.

However, upon reflection, I have to admit that it usually makes the
group stronger when they encounter resistance and work through the
obstacles by the time the session is done. I’ve come to see that what I
think is bad for the group is often quite good. I just try to let go of
my desire to control the outcome and let it work itself out.

I have an elderly Mexican friend named Panchita. She
frequently says, “Bueno, bueno, bueno…malo, malo, malo”, meaning,
good, good, good…bad, bad, bad.” It’s a reminder that in all things
we find good and bad and thus, the balance of life is maintained. If we
ignore this possibility and act based upon a belief that things are
either purely good or purely bad, we are often disappointed by
unintended consequences of our “good deeds” and surprised by the
positive outcome of a “bad” situation.

Your challenge this week is to try to accept what is… whether it be
good or bad. Try seeing how in all things, there is balance between
positive and negative and how they often interact to make a better
outcome. When confronted with something bad or destructive, try allowing
it to manifest before making your attempt to change it or re-construct
it into something good.

As the poet Ranier Maria Rilke wrote, “The most wonderful aspect of life
still seems to me that some course and crude intervention and even
blatant violation can become the occasion for establishing a new order
within us. This is indeed the most superb achievement of our vitality:
that it interprets evil as something good and quite actually inverts the
two.”

Have a great week!

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

(c) copyright 2007 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights
reserved.