Good day, team,

This week’s challenge comes at the request of a technology manager I work with who wanted guidance on an all-too-common scenario: How to make decisions and communicate appropriately during times of crisis and high stress.

When something goes wrong—a major server outage, a system failure, or a missed deadline—how does one explain what’s happening, attempt to fix it and respond appropriately to managers when all they want to hear is that the problem has been fixed or the deadline will be met? In such situations, pressure mounts, and pretty soon the people trying to fix the problem want to throw up their hands and say, “I quit,” while the management continues to say, “Just fix it, now!”

In times of high stress, people tend to behave in one of two ways. Some people go immediately into activation mode, that is, they jump in and attack the problem with a strong sense of urgency. Other people go immediately into analytical mode by collecting all the relevant information, analyzing the problem and only then coming up with a solution.

For example, I recently witnessed a phone outage in a call center. Some of the supervisors were immediately up out of their chairs, talking with their phone representatives, and trying to address the problem with action. Other supervisors were on their computers trying to assess the problem by reviewing the numbers, and then determining who in the command center was taking care of it and what the overall impact would be on the business.

Interestingly enough, when the phones went back up and all the supervisors met to discuss what happened, everyone had something worthwhile to contribute, both those who immediately went to their phone representatives and those who spent time analyzing the problem.

Yet the manager of the call center responded most positively to the supervisors who showed a sense of urgency. Most leaders are motivated by results and are easily frustrated by people who begin with research rather than action. I’ve heard more than one business leader say, “What’s wrong with these people? The place is falling apart, and they’re analyzing our downfall instead of turning it around!”

Clearly, telling business leaders the truth when they don’t want to hear it is daunting. Sometimes we don’t know what the problem is; other times, we can’t promise it will be fixed on schedule. Sometimes we can’t even be heard, if leaders spend most of their time trying to give sometimes ineffectual orders and definitely don’t want to hear that their directions aren’t going to be carried out.

Speaking truth to power is challenging for all of us, especially if there’s a history of negative consequences. I remember one senior director telling me, “I don’t care what the problem is, I’d much rather have them tell me the truth immediately than shy away from it and have it broadside me later. I don’t care how bad it is or how much someone screwed up: Just tell me the truth, and we’ll deal with it.” The same director, however, upon hearing that an important customer’s order had been botched threatened to fire the people responsible if it ever happened again.

The same situations can crop up in our personal lives. How many times do we shy away from tough conversations with family members or friends because we are afraid of the other person’s response? Speaking the truth to anyone is difficult; speaking the truth to those who have a say in our livelihood or whose opinion of us matters is even more challenging.

But as Winston Churchill said, “Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is what it takes to sit down and listen.” Whether we are the purveyor or the receiver of bad news, handling the truth is an act of trust. Trust is at the heart of all healthy relationships, and we cannot trust people who don’t tell us the truth or who withhold information because they’re afraid to share it.

During times of crisis, it is especially important to be honest about what we see and communicate it to the best of our ability. Conversely, we need to listen to what’s being said and honor the person saying it. The more we can lessen our resistance to the truth and remove impediments to action, the faster any crisis can be resolved.

Have a great week!

Kathleen

Good day, team,

I am especially pleased to offer this week’s challenge because it’s been written by my colleague Colleen Sullivan. Colleen is a writer and editor who lives here in Portland. She’s been my editor for the past few years and has given me much sage advice about my writing. Many thanks, Colleen!

Here’s her challenge about creativity:

In the spirit of holiday giving, this week’s challenge offers you encouraging insights from experts on a subject that makes many people sweat: Creativity.

Whether you are frustrated by a problem to which your usual solutions have proved ineffective, or you have a heartfelt thank-you or sympathy note to write, or you’ve been invited to a brainstorm to help other people with their creative challenge, you may be experiencing that combination of dread and panic that confronts most people when they feel pressed to come up with something original.

You first consolation comes from the Bible, Ecclesiastes 1: “There is nothing new under the sun.” It is certainly reassuring to note, for example, that if you want to write a love song about a break-up, there’s probably room for one more, given how many already exist and how many new ones become popular each year.

But if we compare, say, Joe Cocker’s “I Cried a River for You” with 10 cc’s “I’m Not in Love,” although the situation is the same, the interpretation is new. Joe Cocker’s lament is forthright and abject; 10 cc’s is defensive and denying, but moving in its own way.

As we strive for originality, the what may be the same, but the who and the how are different. Just as each of has a unique personality, we each have potential to create a new interpretation of experience, based in our individual authenticity and passion.

Some version of the claim “Good artists borrow, great artists steal” has been variously attributed to Igor Stravinsky, Pablo Picasso and T.S. Eliot. Thousands of books of art criticism trace the lifting of motifs, images and turns of phrase by one generation from the art works of its predecessors. If even professionals in creativity recognize the value of reusing and recycling what already exists, we too can allow ourselves boosts of inspiration—not to mention outright quotations, as long as they’re attributed—from those who came before us.

An earlier challenge referred to Einstein’s quote “The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.” Science, too, is a process of questioning, rebuilding and then destroying what is known, and Einstein’s modesty acknowledges the debt of his genius to the thoughts of previous physicists.

All these experts recognize the threat to our ego that lurks under any attempt to make something up: the risk involved, and fear of failure.

For encouragement to take that risk, we can turn to the advice of cartoonist Scott Adams, who draws “Dilbert”: “Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.” Your portfolio, resume, business plan or final draft is a record of the keepers, but don’t forget your debt of gratitude to your doodling pad, the balled up pieces of paper in the wastebasket, or—best of all, from a writer’s point of view—the cut and paste functions of your word processor.

Have a great week!

Kathleen

Good day, team,

This week’s challenge is about the power of storytelling.

Consider these two scenarios. In the first, a group of people arrive at a business meeting to talk about the company’s results in the last quarter. One of the managers stands up and introduces the subject by clicking through a PowerPoint presentation showing charts and numbers. He talks about the relevance of these numbers in terms of benefits to their customers. When he’s finished, he asks if there are any questions.

In the second scenario, the same group of people assembles for the same reason. But this time, the manager stands up and tells a story about having dinner with one of the company’s best customers, whom he discovered was being wooed by a competitor; the competitor had offered the customer a significant discount for services.

The manager then explained that he told the customer about the new quality initiative his company had instituted specifically for customers like him (at which point he paused and asked the audience to applaud the members of the quality department): the time, effort and care that the quality folks had put into studying the customer’s business and what they had discovered. He talked about the weekend he went into the office and found the entire quality department surrounded by empty pizza boxes and soda cans, talking animatedly about the new initiative; many of them had been up all night, but had forgotten what time it was because they felt they were heading for a breakthrough.

The customer immediately jumped into the conversation. Years ago, he had been part of a team that had done the same thing. He remembered feeling excited about what he was doing and proud to be part of that team. Then he told the manager that he just needed to be able to convince his board of directors that they were still getting the best service for the price. The manager showed him a chart demonstrating, first, how the customer’s sales had improved year after year by using his company’s services, and second, the projected lift in sales that would result from the new quality initiative.

At this point in the presentation, the manager projected this same chart up on the screen and then stopped talking. A member of the audience asked, “What happened with that customer?” The manager replied, “He decided to stay with us and even called me back last week to say that when he described the story as well as the specifics of the quality initiative, his board members were more than satisfied.”

According to Chip Heath, professor of organizational behavior in Stanford University’s graduate school of business, “Good corporate stories are more likely to conjure up tangible visible images than anything in a PowerPoint presentation. Stories are flight simulators for our brains.” /He explains that they portray experiences which members of the audience may not have had yet. /

Good stories convey information, share knowledge, clarify an organization’s mission, underscore values, sell products or points of view, honor traditions and celebrate successes. “An authentic story reveals the true personality of the organization—in effect, its heart and soul,” writes Evelyn Clark, author of “Around the Corporate Campfire.” “To be effective, it must focus on a clear objective, told consistently and sincerely.”

This week, try telling a good story that honestly reflects a point you’re trying to make with your team. Perhaps you talk about something that happened over the weekend that best illustrates the frustration the team may be experiencing around a bottleneck. Maybe you help them understand the importance of customer loyalty by telling them a story about a vendor who made an extraordinary effort to keep your business. Ask if someone on the team has a story to tell about a subject you’ve raised. It’s remarkable to see how inspired people become when they describe how they solved a problem.

Here are some pointers for telling a good story in your business environment:

* Ask yourself, “What’s the purpose of the story?” Is it to inspire your team by conveying information about company culture, or to convey your level of personal service to customers?

* Think of an experience that reflects that aim.

* Write it down. Rehearse it. Give it a title and state the moral of the story.

* Make it personal: Name the hero(s).

* Don’t make it too complicated. The simpler, the better.

* Make it short. In a Powerpoint presentation, three bullets on a slide is much more powerful than a page of text. The same is true in storytelling. A gifted storyteller talks for about two to three minutes.

* Keeping looking for new stories to tell. It makes you a better leader because you have to listen to what others have to say.

Proverbially, a picture is worth a thousand words. The right story can speak to all parts of human beings: their brain, their heart, their soul. Your ability to influence others depends on your ability to engage the whole person, not just their thoughts. So what’s your story?

Have a great week!

Kathleen

Good day, team,

Here’s a challenge written last year that a client asked to see again.

In a recent off-site meeting, I was working with a team that made a commitment to each other. The commitment comes from an old Italian proverb that we translated to say:

Honor when present.
Praise when absent.
Assist when necessary.

Last week I talked with one of the managers on the team about the challenge of following through consistently on this commitment with peers and team members. We agreed that we were able to honor others when we were together, and that assisting others when necessary was also not so hard, but praising others when they weren’t around us was very difficult. Especially the people we don’t particularly like and have the hardest time with!

We also observed that we have a much harder time not gossiping about others when we’re talking with friends. The maxim “Familiarity breeds contempt” confirms that it’s much harder to be impeccable with our word when we’re talking with our closest friends and familiar business associates than with people we don’t know as well. Our familiarity gives us free license to voice our opinions and judgments, or so we think. I know that it always makes me feel uncomfortable when someone I’m friendly with starts to complain about someone else. I want to ask them not to do it, but I’m afraid they’ll judge me for judging them!

If we can keep in mind that none of us likes to be gossiped about, we might have more courage when it comes to saying, “I understand that you’re having trouble with that person, but I don’t think running them down is going to help.” Or maybe the solution is even simpler. We could just say, “I’m trying not to gossip” and leave it at that.

At the heart of it, none of us likes to be judged by others. We often see the same events from different perspectives, and judging others because they don’t see it our way is narrow-minded. Clients have said to me, “I can’t believe they accused me of something I didn’t do,” or “How could they assume that I was at fault for that mistake? Why can’t they see all the work I’ve done and appreciate that rather than focusing on what I did wrong?” We tend to make snap judgments when things don’t go the way we want them to and by doing so, often forget about all the good things people have done and how sincere they often are in their efforts.

Taking the high road in our interactions with others is one of the cornerstones of professional behavior. I’ve noticed that senior people in an organization seem to be the least petty and talkative about others. This discretion is a key to their success. They hear a lot of things about many people in a week, and yet they often don’t repeat what they hear. They allow much of the chatter to just go by them and try to stay focused on what’s really important: people’s strengths and the team’s results.

Your challenge this week is to try (yet again!) not to speak negatively about others. Take it one step further and try to praise others when they’re not around you. You may find this difficult to do, but you’ll also find that the more positively you speak about others, the better you’ll feel about yourself and the people you work with. Try also to be more aware of the desire to gossip with friends or family members rather than strangers. We can all help ourselves be better friends if we have the courage to remind each other to see people’s strengths rather than concentrating on their weaknesses.

As my very wise stepmother reminded me last week, great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about other people.

Have a great week!

Kathleen

Good day, team,

Your challenge this week is about innovation. In a recent meeting, the guest speaker quoted a well-known retailer in Great Britain: “If you do something first, your customer thinks you do it for them. If you do something second, they think you do it for yourself.”

The speaker went on to say that being innovative, although often risky, puts you out in front of your competitors in ways you cannot imagine, and that this process is a big part of the fun: discovering what happens to your ideas as they become reality.

The dictionary defines “innovate” (from the Latin word “innovare,” to renew) to include not only introducing something new but making changes to anything established. It’s easy to recognize innovation when a product or process is brand new: We’ve never seen it before. But many innovations simply renew or redesign something that needs improvement.

My new i-Phone is the most innovative item I’ve purchased in the last few years. There are many new things about this product that make it a joy to use; having my i-Pod as part of my phone, accessing videos and e-mail quickly and easily, and experiencing a look and feel that are not like anything I’ve experienced before. However, I also see that many of its features are similar to those on my old phone, redesigned in a much more innovative way. So although they’re not new, they do feel different and much more user-friendly.

Innovation requires us to see something completely differently. Once when I had trouble envisioning something, a friend had a suggestion: “Instead of seeing the sun as a ball in the sky that you know is a star emitting light, think about it as a hole into a completely new world that is completely light-filled.”

This changed perspective had a profound effect on me. If I thought of the sun in a completely different way, I would have to think about our solar system totally differently too. If the sun was a hole in the sky, then how would our planetary system revolve around it, and what would that mean? When I applied this same way of completely altering how I looked at something, I found that my creativity was sparked, and I felt anything was possible.

This kind of creative energy is a requirement for innovation. It’s the type of energy that allows us to sprout new ideas and plant them so they grow into new products and new ways of doing things.

Your challenge this week is to introduce something new into one of your endeavors. It can be as simple as redesigning a process that’s become stale and no longer works as well as it used to. Maybe you explore new ways of doing your art, craft or avocation. Try challenging your team to be more innovative by coming up with a new product idea or a better way of servicing your customers. Or ask your family members to create a completely different way for you to spend time together. Children are very creative in their thinking and can usually come up with innovative ways of doing things.

Last week, I saw a television segment about a man who invented a new kind of suitcase: a round tube. He travels a lot for business and noticed how many people get on planes with garment bags for their suits. He knew from his own experience that garment bags don’t prevent wrinkles. He also knew that when he rolled his clothes in a suitcase, they often came out much less wrinkled, and he could get a lot more into his suitcase. So he went to Home Depot, bought a piece of PVC pipe about 8–10 inches in diameter, added some velcro, and then rolled a suit into it. After two days, he took the suit out, and it was in great shape. He now manufactures rolled suitcases that are selling faster than he can make them!

Have a great, innovative week!

Kathleen

Good day, team,

A quote from Pema Chodron, a Buddhist nun, has stayed with me over the past week. She writes, “The essence of bravery is being without self-deception.”

The quote reminded me of a situation in which I had greatly deceived myself. I was working for a high-tech company in Silicon Valley as a human resources manager. The company grew rapidly, from 60 people to 1,200 people within 24 months, and was experiencing record profits when, suddenly, the CEO made a bad decision to completely change the direction of the company. Within six months, it spiraled toward bankruptcy.

At this point, the board of directors intervened, removed the CEO, and brought in a new COO, a man who was known for reducing spending and coordinating large layoffs. He was positioned as the guy who could save us. We were told that he would help the company focus on its key products, reduce expenses and scale down appropriately.

One of the first things the COO did was meet with the human resources managers to let us know what was coming so we could orchestrate the layoffs. There were two other managers in the department who had been there longer than I had and who were more specialized in their human resources expertise. I was the generalist who had helped recruit and hire many of the employees.The new COO told us that he wouldn’t need three human resources managers for a company of about 100 people, so only one of us would survive the layoffs. To make matters worse, I learned from the COO’s admininstrative assistant that the new company, that was being described as smaller and more focused on key lines of business, was actually being prepared for sale and a few people (including the new COO) would pocket a lot of money when the deal went through.

The competition that ensued between my team members and me was ugly; we all fought to save whatever territory we thought we owned and did our best to ingratiate ourselves with the new COO.

At the same time, I felt very badly about what was happening to the company and the people I had helped hire. Many employees had families who depended on them. Yet here we were, sitting in meetings looking at lists of names and treating the people as if they had no history, no families, no value, even though I knew what they had sacrificed to make the company successful.

I also knew how much they believed in what the company had been doing before it changed direction. People had felt great pride in their work and the company’s initial vision and mission. They knew they belonged to a company that valued them, and they worked hard so everyone could profit.

Now, all of this enthusiasm and team spirit was gone. The atmosphere went from open and creative to secretive and unproductive. When a manager walked into the lunchroom, people became quiet. When the human resources team met with anyone, people would walk by the conference room and avert their eyes: They didn’t want to see what was going on. The negativity that permeated the building was intense. Paranoia began to increase, and even those who thought they were in the know, part of the inner, executive circle, began to question each others’ motives.

What I witnessed in myself was something I have always regretted. In the midst of the competition to keep my job, I did whatever was necessary to win the approval of the COO and the managers who bonded with him to keep their jobs. I watched myself do things that I didn’t believe in. I repeated the party line, even when I knew what I was saying wasn’t always true. I convinced others that the company’s new direction would be better for them and that, even though we had to let some people go, the new company would be better for it. I remember saying, “Don’t worry about them. They’ll easily find other jobs. It’s a good economy, and they have plenty of experience.” But, in my heart, I knew that finding new jobs would not be easy and that ultimately the company was being put up for sale and in the end, everyone would lose their jobs and benefits.

Ultimately, I understood that no matter how much I deceived others, the greatest damage I did was to myself. My level of self-deception was deep. I kept excusing my actions and telling myself that sustaining my lifestyle, my family and my position was more important than the inner voice that reminded me of the truth. I didn’t have the courage to be honest with myself and act upon my convictions.

I look back at that time and see someone who was afraid of losing her job, her income and her life. I also see that I was losing my integrity.

In the end, I was chosen as the only remaining human resources manager. I remember what one of my fellow managers said as she left: “Well, congratulations. Now you just have to live with yourself.” At the time I thought, “Sour grapes,” but in my heart, I felt the truth of her assessment.

The company was eventually sold. The people who did it for the money pocketed much less than they thought would get. They blamed the employees, the board of directors, the company’s advisor’s, etc., and went away thinking that, for all the effort they had put into it, it wasn’t worth it. What they never saw was that whatever amount they got in the end could never satisfy their greed. And I don’t think it ever crossed their minds how much damage they did to the spirit of the company, its people and its customers.

Your challenge this week is to express yourself with forceful grace in situations where you have been deceiving yourself or hiding from yourself and others, even if it just means having the courage to tell yourself the truth. It may be a situation at work where you are afraid to express yourself, but know that avoiding the truth or hiding from it is no longer acceptable to you. Perhaps there’s something happening at home that you know needs attention, but you’re avoiding it and telling yourself that it will just go away or change on its own, even though you know it needs addressing. Whatever the situation, be gentle with yourself and courageous at the same time.

There’s a wonderful metaphor here about the lion and the lamb, but that’s another story.

Have a great week!

Kathleen

Good day, team,
I received some requests last week to re-send this challenge that was originally sent out in January of 2006. It seems timely.

Kathleen

Good day, team,

The challenge this week is about realizing that we are not indispensable and working to cultivate backup and support. At this time of year, we are much more susceptible to colds and flu, and we often find ourselves struggling with the question “Am I well enough to go to work?” Yet we all know that it’s pretty stupid to go to work when we’re sick. Not only do we function poorly, but we also expose others to our illness. I often see whole departments affected because one person felt that he or she was well enough to go to work, and then many other people in the department caught that person’s illness.

So why do we go to work when we’re ill? Perhaps we think that we’re indispensable and the work won’t get done if we’re not there. This is an illusion. Anyone who has been away from work for an extended period of time knows that somehow the work gets done. At times it’s done better by the person who pitches in for us when we’re out! One of the advantages of being part of a team is that our team members support us when we need it most. There’s nothing more gratifying than being able to help someone when they really need us.

Unfortunately, none of us wants to think that we can easily be replaced, so often we make unreasonable demands upon ourselves to show up to get the work done. Generally, people who think they’re indispensable have a difficult time letting go of control. Be honest with yourself. Are you cultivating this attitude because you’re really afraid that if you don’t do it, the work won’t get done at all, or because you can’t control the outcome? We all know that it’s never just a single person who accomplishes a task, but a team of well-coordinated, talented people who make it happen. No one is indispensable, and thinking that we are keeps us imprisoned in our fear of losing control.

Try challenging your attitudes about being indispensable this week and look at whether or not you have sufficient backup. If you don’t have people to delegate to, set up a good support system for yourself in case you have to be out of work for a time. Ask yourself, “Who do I rely on most for support?” Let the person who supports you know how much you rely on them. This helps a lot when you wake up some morning with a splitting headache and sore throat. With one phone call, you can easily engage your team member to take over, and that person won’t be surprised by the request.

Having backup also makes it easier when you call your boss to say you won’t be in. You can reassure her or him that the work will be done by your team member and that the team is covering for you. If you work on your own, take a look at your network of business associates and friends. See if there’s someone who can back you up if you need it. Don’t be afraid to ask for help from a trusted friend or colleague. You may find that person asking you to return the favor, and then you both get to feel dispensable but valuable!

Have a great week and stay healthy!

Kathleen

Good day, team,

This week’s challenge is about forgiveness. This subject came up for me just this weekend. My husband and I attended a large family celebration, and I was given opportunities to forgive some family members with whom I have had difficult relationships in the past.

In one case, one of my in-laws and his wife became quite angry a few years ago about something that my husband and I were supposed to have done to them. We never understood what the actual offense was, and although we tried to talk with them about it, their response was to stop communicating with us altogether.

In this situation, I felt completely justified in also shutting them out of our lives. I thought, “Well, it’s their choice to not work this out and, therefore, I’m certainly not going to keep trying if they don’t want to. I never understood what the problem was to begin with, so they have to reach out to us if this is ever going to change.” And with that attitude, the chances of the situation ever getting resolved were pretty minimal.

The celebration yesterday brought me such joy that when I saw my in-laws, I realized that all the justifications and questions about who’s right and who’s wrong really didn’t make any difference. Here was an opportunity for my husband and me to reach out, and if they didn’t respond, then so be it. It was worth trying again.

Interestingly enough, we were actually able to communicate civilly, and perhaps a small opening was made for future interactions. I was feeling quite good about all of this and, as the evening continued, I thought about the miracle of forgiveness and how it clears the path for people to be able to move forward. To forgive means to cease to feel resentment toward an offender, to pardon one’s enemies, to grant relief from payment of a debt. It comes from the Old English word “forgifan,” meaning to give beforehand. In the act of forgiveness, we are willing to give to the other person before they are willing to give to us. Someone must be willing to be the first to give of themselves for another to receive and reciprocate.

Resentment is an obstacle to moving forward. The longer we hold on to resentment, the more difficult it is to overcome. So forgiveness acts as a catalyst for increasing possibilities between people.

Your challenge this week is to see what resentment you’re holding on to with another person. Try forgiving that person and do something that lets him or her know you’ve done so. Maybe you’ve been feuding with a co-worker for awhile and decide to forgive all the negativity that’s gone on between the two of you by having coffee and talking about how you’d like the relationship to change. Perhaps you’ve been unable to forgive a family member for many years and you write that person a letter expressing your desire to relate differently in the future. How about giving a treat (a donut, bagel, piece of candy or flower) to someone you have a lot of trouble with. Sometimes the smallest act of kindness can completely change the nature of a relationship.

As our family celebration continued yesterday, many of us were out on the dance floor having a gay old time. At some point, a distant relative who had had far too much to drink approached and verbally attacked me. I was completely taken aback. At the time, I immediately judged her and wrote her off.

And so, as we see, the cycle starts again. One minute we work to forgive someone and the next moment we are given another opportunity to do it again with someone else. It seems to me that these kinds of opportunities are plentiful at family events! Whatever the case may be, we all have the chance to forgive and forget so that our hearts remain open to the love and kindnesses that human beings are truly capable of giving each other.

Have a great week!

Kathleen

Good day, team,

Albert Einstein was a Nobel Prize-winning scientist whose theory of relativity changed Western concepts of time and space forever: No small accomplishment by any means. Einstein remains one of the greatest scientists who ever lived.

However, many people do not know what a sensitive man he was and how, as he aged, he became more and more philosophical, often challenging the entire scientific method he was trained to venerate. His experience of life became more and more magical as he aged, and he seemed to revel in the fact that many of life’s great truths persist without any scientific proof.

The following Einstein quotes were collected by Kevin Harris in 1995. I am grateful to him for this compilation:

“The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and all science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead: His eyes are closed.”

“Imagination is more important than knowledge.”

“A human being is a part of a whole, called by us ‘universe,’ a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separated from the rest… a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.”

“The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing.”

“Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be achieved by understanding.”

“The most comprehensible thing about the world is that it is incomprehensible.”

“The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.”

“Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts” (sign hanging in Einstein’s office at Princeton).

These last three rules have also been attributed to Einstein:

“The Three Rules of Work:

1. Out of clutter, find simplicity.

2. From discord, find harmony.

3. In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.”

Your challenge this week is to choose one of these quotes from Einstein, print it out, and find a place where you can see it daily (on your desk at work, on the refrigerator, in the bathroom, wherever). Choose whichever speaks to you so that in the midst of your daily routine, Einstein’s words of wisdom will wake you up, give you some perspective about a situation that seems unsolvable, make you laugh, offer you a different viewpoint.

We are so blessed to live in a world where there is an infinite amount of information available to us. I call it info ad infinitum. What a marvel: That we can read Albert Einstein’s most intimate thoughts just by googling his name on our computer! Why not use this information to arrest ourselves for a brief moment of truth?

Have a great week!

Kathleen

Good day, team,

This week’s challenge comes from the book “The Man Who Listens to Horses” by Monty Roberts. Roberts is a real-life horse whisperer, an American original whose gentle training methods reveal the depth of communication possible between people and animals.

A few years ago, my fellow coach Kate Dwyer (who’s also an avid horsewoman) mentioned to me that the similarities between coaching people and horses are uncanny. She suggested this book to me and in reading it, I have found many useful hints in my attempts to understand good ways of working with people.

Here’s an excerpt from the introduction to the book, written by Lawrence Scanlon:

“Three hundred years before the birth of Christ, there lived a Greek cavalry officer named Xenophon. He wrote a tiny classic called ‘The Art of Horsemanship.’ Here is a paragraph from it:

‘A fit of passion is a thing that has no foresight in it, and so we often have to rue the day when we gave way to it. Consequently, when your horse shies at an object and is unwilling to go up to it, he should be shown that there is nothing fearful in it, least of all to a courageous horse like him; but if this fails, touch the object yourself that seems so dreadful to him, and lead him up to it with gentleness.

‘Riders who force their horses by the use of the whip only increase their fear, for they then associate the pain with the thing that frightens them.’”

This advice makes me think about situations in which some sort of discipline is required. How strong do we need to be in getting the message across (the whip)? And what are the consequences if the people we manage or parent don’t do what we’ve instructed them to do?

Interestingly, none of us seems to have trouble letting toddlers know that if they touch a stove, they will get burned. It’s not hard for us to be quite direct in our instructions about it. However, try using the same direct message when cautioning adults about something that can burn them figuratively: We often stumble on our words and are not very clear about the consequences.

Coaching works best when we begin by being the active force but then quickly step back from that position so the people being coached can become the active force for themselves. People, like horses, respond best to those who are willing to be patient, considerate and clear about their intention, with no hint of anger or judgment.

Of course, managing people will require being tough at times. Such toughness will be effective if all team members believe the discipline is being applied fairly and that it’s for the good of the whole team, not just one person in particular. Managers shouldn’t ask their team members to do anything they themselves wouldn’t also be willing to do.

One of the techniques Roberts uses most effectively, which he describes many times in his book, is to listen to what horses are saying in their own language. This attentiveness gives him the opportunity to respond to them in the same way, with the flick of an ear, the movement of an eye, or a facial expression. Our body language communicates volumes, and unspoken messages that frighten people or make them ill at ease do not facilitate good communication and often make people wary. Feeling safe is a prerequisite for being vulnerable enough to open up the lines of communication and say what we’re really thinking.

Your challenge this week is to take a lesson from our four-legged friend the horse. Take a look at the people you spend most of your time with. How do you treat them? Are you hard on them because you think that will bring out their best? Do you find yourself asking them to do something you wouldn’t dream of doing? Are you willing to invite them into the running, so to speak, rather than forcing them? How would you like to be treated in a similar situation? Are people willing to come back to you for more guidance, or do they try to avoid you? Do you cause people to fear you or respect you?

Once you are able to answer these questions, try taking a gentle, attentive approach with people. Maybe it’s just as simple as holding out your hand and asking for help rather than pointing your finger to get your opinion across. And if that hand offers an apple as well, you might just find that people respond like the horse does, with a willingness to carry you that extra mile!

Have a great week!

Kathleen