How Your External Actions Align With Your Values

This post is about integrity — the alignment between what we value and how we act. Integrity shows up not in what we say, but in the choices we make when circumstances become difficult.

In recent years, the volatile real estate market has tested many homeowners. One friend’s experience stands out as a clear example of living by one’s values. Early in his marriage, he bought a small home with strong long-term potential. When he and his wife were expecting their first child, he chose to move closer to extended family, even though it meant taking a less promising position. That decision reflected exactly what mattered most to him.

As the market declined, selling the home became impossible, so he kept it as a rental while purchasing another house in his hometown. For years, he managed two mortgages, a growing family, and a career that wasn’t progressing as he hoped. Eventually, a better opportunity required relocating again, this time farther from family. He made the difficult choice to move, recognizing that providing for his family was now the priority.

Through all of this, the original house remained a financial strain. Today, the renters want to buy it, but only at a price far below the mortgage. To sell, he’ll have to absorb the loss personally. Letting the property go into foreclosure would be far easier — but it wouldn’t align with who he is. And that, ultimately, is the test: choosing the path consistent with one’s values, even when the cost is high.

His situation is a powerful reminder that integrity is revealed in moments when doing the right thing is inconvenient, uncomfortable, or expensive. When we ignore our inner compass, regret usually follows. When we follow it, we strengthen our character.

This week, reflect on your own alignment.

  • Do your actions consistently reflect what you say matters?

  • Are there areas where convenience is outweighing conviction?

  • Are you honoring your responsibilities, your relationships, and your deeper sense of right and wrong?

Ovid captured this beautifully: “Our integrity is never worth so much as when we have parted with our all to keep it.”

Kathleen

 


		


		
	







	
	


		
The Benefits of Exploring Nature

		
	


		

	


	
	


	


		

			
 


This post is about the benefits of exploring new places in nature.


Recently, my husband and I went for a long walk in an unfamiliar area. When we started out, all we could see was the road at our feet, a creek to our left and woods all around us. We had no idea where the road would lead us. I thought, “Isn’t this always how it is when we embark on a new journey to a place we’ve never been?” We experience excitement, hope, and some fear. The spirit of exploration is all about discovering new things and the joy that comes from that experience.


We came to the top of the first hill where the road leveled out. From here, we could look down on the creek, which was increasing in size.  We saw large rock formations and hills with many varieties of tall pines and oak trees. I sensed that this land was very old. The rock formations were covered in what I call “old moss,” which is the kind that’s been there so long it’s actually taken on the color of the rocks. We saw dramatic crags and stalactite-looking formations. We even saw a rock cave in the side of the hill and wondered what kind of animal or serpent might live there.


Each time we ascended another hill or rounded a bend, the road would stretch out inviting us to continue with our exploration. With every step, we saw something new. The creek broadened and became a rushing cascade of water. We saw a red rock on the road that looked like it had a face etched into it. I noticed that my state of mind began to change. I felt lighter — not just on my feet but in my heart. The experience of being in nature, exploring a new place on a beautiful day with my husband, made me feel more connected with the world around me. I felt like I could breathe more freely and that the world had so much abundance, so much to offer.


Try exploring new places in nature. Perhaps you can take a different route while riding your bike to work or go for a different walk around town. Maybe you can visit a park you’ve not been to before. How about taking your kids to the beach or on a hike? Even in winter, natural spaces have their own special beauty. No matter where you live, you can experience the outdoors, whether it’s the local park or a nearby ski area.


See how you feel after you spend some time in nature. John Muir wrote, “I only went out for a walk and finally concluded to stay out till sundown, for going out, I found, was really going in.”


And Standing Bear said, “Man’s heart away from nature becomes hard.”


 


Kathleen



		


		
	







	
	


		
Innovation and How Technology Inspires Us

		
	


		

	


	
	


	


		

			
Years ago, I read a Wired article by TED curator Chris Anderson titled “Film School — Why Online Video Is More Powerful Than You Think.” In it, Anderson explored how online video was beginning to reshape the way people learn, connect, and innovate. At the time, platforms like YouTube were still new, and the traditional ways we accessed information were changing almost daily. The internet was fundamentally altering how knowledge was shared and consumed.


Anderson’s central argument was that online video was creating global communities that inspire people to develop new skills and expand their thinking. He wrote that it was “unleashing an unprecedented wave of innovation across thousands of disciplines… helping the world get smarter.”


I was reminded of that idea when I watched one of my first YouTube videos—one that taught me how to knit a pair of socks. Instead of reading a manual or visiting a local knitting shop, I gathered my needles and yarn and learned by watching an elderly woman, clearly experienced and patient, guide viewers through the process. It was simple, effective, and surprisingly personal.


That experience captured how dramatically access to information has changed within my lifetime. What was once driven largely by print has evolved into a video-based revolution. Watching someone demonstrate a skill, rather than relying solely on written instructions, can be more engaging, more effective, and even enjoyable.


In the past twenty years, technological change has accelerated at a pace that can be difficult to keep up with. Today, with the advent of artificial intelligence, I could create my own instructional course on knitting and design a comprehensive marketing strategy to share it widely online. What I have learned is that experimenting with new technologies fuels creativity, encourages innovation, and brings new energy into my work.


That said, innovation does not have to involve technology at all. Sometimes it is as simple as changing how meetings begin, introducing a collaborative exercise, or rethinking how teams work together.


Ultimately, innovation is about being willing to change how we do things—and discovering the sense of possibility and joy that can come with it.


Kathleen

		


		
	







	
	


		
The Power of Telling Stories and How They Help Us Shine

		
	


		

	


	
	


	


		

			
 


“Playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do.” 


    

  • Marianne Williamson, spiritual activist, author, lecturer and founder of The Peace Alliance
    • 



My sister sent me this wonderful quote a few months ago, and it’s been on my mind lately. It reminds me of how often I worry about what others think and stop myself from realizing my full potential. Maybe it’s because I don’t want to offend someone I’m working with or I’m in a situation where I don’t want to outshine a family member. Sometimes I find myself holding back information or actions because I’m afraid of taking up someone else’s space or because I don’t want to attract envy or jealously. Whatever it is, I realize that it happens more often than I’d like. This kind of consideration to others is based on fear rather than inspiration or love.


This weekend, on the other hand, I was reminded of how children can really shine. We had friends visiting us and they brought their daughter and one of her close friends. So we had the delightful experience of having two lovely, incredibly curious, intelligent 10-year-old children to keep us company.


Saturday nights with guests who stay for the weekend, have become story night. That is, after dinner we all go into the living room, sit around in a circle and tell stories. They can be sad or happy, frightening or inspirational, about every day occurrences or great adventures we’ve had in our past. I’m always amazed at how interesting and creative people’s stories are — and how much fun it is to hear them!


As we listened to the stories of our 10-year-old visitors, we saw them shine in our candlelit circle.  One minute, we were holding our sides from laughing so hard as Bella told us the story of the most embarrassing event in her life, and in the next moment, we were held in close attention as Estelle told us a story about an adventure she had at camp last summer. In both cases, these girls shone in their ability to recount their stories of humor and life lessons.


Listening to the children share their stories allowed the adults to free themselves from shyness or an unwillingness to participate. In the girls’ uninhibited way of allowing their stories to flow through them, they allowed the rest of us to do the same. It made for a wonderful night of sharing, laughter and tear-filled eyes, while we opened ourselves up to one of the oldest traditions in the world — storytelling.


I have found it to be very empowering not to worry so much about what other people think of what I’m saying or doing. When I experience the low hum of constant internal chatter that often says, “What will they think of me if I say that?” or “Maybe I’ll just not say anything at this point and let it be” — I try not to have it stop me from sharing my thoughts or feelings.


Story telling is an ancient tradition that people have used to share with each other for thousands of years.   If you have children or grandchildren around you, notice how their eyes shine when they tell you a story, whether it’s true or not! Think about how we all have that childlike desire to hear a good story or tell someone a tale that holds their attention for a few moments. Although we live in a culture that seems to prefer hearing and watching stories on-line or on  television, try making time to share stories together. It’s not only empowering, giving each person an opportunity to have a voice, but it’s also very entertaining.


 


Kathleen




      


		


		
	







	
	


		
The Benefits of Changing Perspective

		
	


		

	


	
	


	


		

			
This post is about the benefits of changing our perspective.


When we’re in the middle of something, it can be difficult for us to see with any relativity or context. For example, when I’m tallying up my monthly business accounts for my bookkeeper, it’s difficult to see how the columns of numbers relate to how my business is doing. I have to see the results of the numbers on a balance sheet to give me a better look at the month. Then I can look at the profit and loss statement to see how I’m actually doing for the quarter or the year. Having context and relativity enable me to compare and contrast with clarity. They widen my viewfinder and give me more information.


I find this is true in my relationships with others as well. If I focus too much on one aspect of someone, I lose my ability to see the whole person. For example, when one of my friends talks with me about her ex-husband, she can be quite negative. She expresses hurt feelings and resentment about him and the life they had together. This is not an experience that I enjoy having with her. At the same time, I greatly appreciate many things about her. She loves music and has shared many kinds with me that I otherwise never would have heard. She’s a hard worker, and I respect how she perseveres. She’s a wonderful mother and loyal friend. And yet, when I think of her, I tend to think of how negative she is about her ex-husband. Consequently, by focusing exclusively on one aspect of her personality, I tend to think of her only in that vein. However, if I stand back and look at the whole picture of her, I see that she’s many things. She’s not just one color of the rainbow but is composed of all the colors of the rainbow — the dark as well as the light.


In the book “Leadership and Self-Deception,” published by the Arbinger Institute, the authors talk about how it’s the seers who end up putting themselves in a box by not being able to see others in their entirety. Changing how we see others by standing back and taking in the entire impression, not only frees them from how we otherwise confine them, but more important, it frees us from the box of limited vision that imprisons us.


I recall standing in the Musee d’Orsay in France a few years ago gazing lovingly at some beautiful Monet paintings. If I stood too close, it was just a jumble of colorful brush strokes. Once I stood back, those same brush strokes created beautiful scenes of the French countryside. Aha, I thought, impressionism!


Broadening your perspective by opening up the viewfinder can give you a whole new way to see something or someone.  Give yourself the opportunity to see other people from many angles, not just the one that bothers you or the one that stands out the most. Step back to take in the whole impression and marvel at its beauty.


 


Kathleen






		


		
	







	
	


		
Beginnings and The Power of Intuition

		
	


		

	


	
	


	


		

			
 


There’s no better time for new beginnings than the first of the year.  It’s the beginning of a new cycle, the root of the musical scale for the year or the “do” of the octave. However you see it, it’s a start, and with all new beginnings, comes energy. Sometimes I see it like running a foot race. I start off with lots of energy that bursts forth and propels me down the track. Along with this burst of energy, comes an increase in intuitive powers. My ability to see things in a new way is heightened, and my perspective is broader – so many more things are possible. I’ve always found it worth it to pay attention to my intuition in the midst of a new beginning.


Have you ever had the experience of suddenly realizing that something doesn’t feel right anymore? It’s a surprise when this happens because nothing obvious has changed and we don’t know where the thought has come from, but it’s wise to pay attention when these things happen.  Because there’s not a logical explanation for intuition when it happens, it’s often good to sit with it for a while and observe.


I recall when I had that intuitive experience about moving my office.  After years of having a home office, I suddenly realized it wasn’t working for me anymore.   This was before Covid and I still met most of my clients face to face so having a nice office was important.  The day after that thought came to me,  I walked into the bakery around the corner, and as I was waiting for my coffee, I saw a sign on the wall that said, “Office space for lease — contact Dan.” That’s interesting, I thought. I wonder who Dan is? I looked around the shop and saw a man sitting in the corner having a coffee and muffin, working on a computer. I walked up to him and asked, “Are you Dan?” and he replied, “Yes, I am.” The next thing I knew, we were ascending the stairs to the office spaces above the bakery. When we walked into the space for lease, it just felt right. My normal reaction in these situations is to strike while the iron is hot, so to speak. But my mind cautioned me to think about this for a while and get more information. I thought I should talk to my husband, my accountant, and my attorney before I made a final decision. Of course, none of that was going to change the initial intuitive message that it just felt right. However, I’ve learned over time that when it comes to business, doing your due diligence is important.


The real challenge came over the next two weeks as I went through the process of weighing all the positives and negatives, consulting others, negotiating with Dan the landlord and reviewing the lease agreement with my attorney. The more I looked into all the details and spent time analyzing whether this was a good decision or not, the farther away I got from that intuitive feeling and the more I doubted whether or not it actually happened to me.


In the end, I decided to lease the space. But I wonder what difference would it have made if I had taken the space in that first moment when I felt it was right, rather than two weeks later after all my information-gathering and analysis? You can make the case that by waiting and looking into all the details, I made sure that there would be no surprises and that everything was in good order. However, the more I looked into it, the more energy I lost. And I didn’t feel nearly as excited about my decision to rent the space as I did in those first few moments.


The lesson I learned is that sometimes, going with that strong intuitive feeling in the moment is important because it gives you a rare kind of energy and enthusiasm that cannot be created any other way. If you need to jump, that’s a good time to do it because you’ll have all the energy you need to jump high and wide. At other times, using that energy to check all the details and engage others in your decision makes the most sense, particularly when longer-term commitments are being made. Understanding which action is appropriate is the challenge.


As you experience the beginning of the new year, pay close attention to your intuition. Take a look around you and sense whether things feel right. Do you need to do some adjusting to realign things? Maybe your desk at work needs to be moved or your team needs to be reorganized. Perhaps you need to change a process or approach to something at work or in your home. Whatever it is, spend some time observing people and processes around you. See if you can feel what needs to change and what the best way to make that change would be. Maybe you can jump in because the risk is minimal and the pay-off might be great. In other cases, analyzing and processing are the keys to making the right decision.


Most important, use the special energy of the first of the year to observe what needs changing and don’t be afraid to take action in whatever way is best. There’s nothing like new beginnings to revitalize us and renew our goals.


As Plato wrote, “The beginning is the most important part of the work.”


 


Kathleen



		


		
	







	
	


		
Experiencing Craving and Aversion

		
	


		

	


	
	


	


		

			
The other day I walked into my closet and looked at all the clothes hanging there. I saw the bright pink sweater I’ve never worn and remembered the craving I experienced when I bought it. I just had to have it! I looked down at the bright gold stiletto sandals on the floor and reflected on how I’ve worn them only once, at my friend’s wedding reception, and nearly damaged my ankles permanently by dancing in them. And really, how many pairs of black pants or blue jeans can one woman wear? I thought about all the craving and aversion that closet represents and how much space it takes up in my life.


This time of year, the world seems like one big advertisement, creating lots of craving for holiday gifts. But what happens once we satisfy that craving? We then react with a predictable aversion to having so much stuff!  Plus, after all the gifts have been opened, we’re left with a mess of trash that we have to recycle.


Sometimes I feel as though craving and aversion act on me like waves on the seashore. When I want something, the desire builds in me like a wave as it comes crashing toward the beach, the water rushing up into the dry sand. And then in the next moment, my aversion is the receding wave, pulling me away from the shoreline, so to speak, taking all the shells and pebbles—the trinkets and baubles of my desires—with it as it pulls back into the wider sea.


This repetitive cycle makes me yearn for simplicity. (Am I craving yet again?) I envy the Dalai Lama. His entire wardrobe consists of two robes, one pair of shoes and one pair of sandals. He’s not plagued by the question “Should I wear the gold stilettos or the purple flats?” I would imagine that he is troubled by other things, but he probably doesn’t lose his inner peace over what shoes to wear. T


Try seeing what happens when you crave something and when you experience aversion. Maybe you have a lot of trouble with one particular colleague and you want them replaced. Or perhaps you’re craving a new job or a promotion or just sweet things to eat. Perhaps you just have to have a new car, or an expensive watch, or a better house, etc. See what happens when your craving starts to take over and verges on becoming an obsession. Pay particular attention to these opposite states as they rise up and fall away. Does it make you feel better to satisfy your craving? Or do you find that once you’ve satisfied one craving, another quickly rises up. What happens when you feel the opposite, for example, when you receive the credit card bill that reflects the results of satisfying your craving?


If you find, as I have, that craving and aversion make you feel like you’re being pushed and pulled by outside forces, try letting these states pass before you act on them. Allowing a craving to pass before I give in to it also saves me from having to feel any aversion afterward.


As Bishop Thomas Wilson said, “The fewer desires, the more peace.”


Kathleen






		


		
	







	
	


		
The Experience of Being Present

		
	


		

	


	
	


	


		

			
 


Years ago, when I first learned about being present, I had some vague

intellectual idea of what the phrase meant. I had heard that it was the key to

self-awareness and becoming more conscious, so I asked a number of gurus,

meditation teachers and people who claimed to know a lot about awareness, “How

do you do this, I mean, how do you be present?” I received answers like “You

just be in the moment” or “Just allow yourself to be where you are” or “It’s

your natural state, just allow it to happen” that frankly didn’t give me any

specific help. It wasn’t until someone suggested that I try to feel my breath or

feel my feet that I began to experience my attention in my body, which brought

me into the moment.


This post is about the experience of being present and some good

reasons and suggestions for doing it. A client of mine sent me this

article from ‘The Huffington Post’ that addresses some of the benefits of being

present. It’s written by Soren Gordhamer, the author of ‘Wisdom 2.0’. Take a look:


“Researchers are slowly coming to the same conclusion. Harvard researchers, in a

study of over 2,200 people, asked them how they were doing at various random

times. The researchers found, as reported in ‘The New York Times’

<http://www.nytimes.com/2010/11/16/science/16tier.html?_r=1&ref=science>, that

what mattered more was not /what /people were doing but rather the degree of

attention that they were bringing to what they were doing. According to the

article, ‘Whatever people were doing, whether it was having sex or reading or

shopping, they tended to be happier if they focused on the activity instead of

thinking about something else. In fact, whether and where their minds wandered

was a better predictor of happiness than what they were doing.’”


We’re used to thinking that sitting on a beach in the Bahamas is much better

than sitting in rush-hour traffic in New York City. And while there may be some

truth to the fact that is easier to pay full attention while in a relaxed

environment, according to the researchers, “The location of the body is much

less important than the location of the mind, and the former has surprisingly

little influence on the latter.”


But where is our attention during most of the day? It is generally lost in

thought. According to the researchers, “On average throughout all the

quarter-million responses, minds were wandering 47 percent of the time.” But we

do not need researchers to tell us that our mind wanders just about all the

time: We can watch and see for ourselves. As Eckhart Tolle has said, “Compulsive

thinking has become a collective disease.”


And now we have all kinds of gadgets that, essentially, help us stay in our

minds, disconnected from our bodies and actual experiences in a given moment.

Walk down the street of any major city and you’ll notice that most people are

essentially somewhere else, either because they are on their phone or are

daydreaming about some future moment or reliving a past one. This moment, the

one we are living now, is often missed.


As Ram Dass used to say, “We become human doings instead of human beings.” How

do we connect with being? For Eckhart Tolle and others, one simple way is to

“focus your attention away from thinking and direct it into the body, where

being can be felt.”


Even now, reading these words, can you bring attention to your body and see

thoughts arise and pass without riding the train of associated thoughts that

take you away from this moment?


Try this: for today, whenever you notice your mind wandering, invite attention

back into your body. Focus less on doing and more on being, and see if the

actions you do take come more often from that place of ease and focus, what in

sports they call “the zone.” Prioritize not what you are doing as much as the

quality of attention you bring to what you are doing, as if what you are doing

right now deserves your full attention.


See what the experience of being present is like and if it makes a

positive difference in your life.


 


Kathleen


 


 

		


		
	







	
	


		
The Power and Responsibility of Imagination

		
	


		

	


	
	


	


		

			
This post is about the key takeaways from J.K. Rowlings Harvard Commencement Address in 2008 where she talks about the power and responsibility of imagination.


In the second half of her speech, Rowling spoke not about imagination as creativity alone, but as a moral force—one that carries both power and responsibility.


Imagination enables empathy.
Rowling argues that imagination is not simply the source of invention and innovation; it is the uniquely human capacity that allows us to empathize with experiences we have never personally lived. Through imagination, we can understand the suffering, hopes, and realities of others—especially those very different from ourselves.


Empathy leads to action.
Drawing on her early work at Amnesty International, Rowling illustrates how imagination, when exercised as empathy, can mobilize people to act on behalf of others. Ordinary individuals, moved by the stories of strangers, collectively save lives and challenge injustice. This, she suggests, is imagination at its most transformative.


Choosing not to imagine has consequences.
Rowling is clear that imagination is morally neutral—it can be used to understand and to manipulate. But she warns that willfully refusing to imagine the lives of others is not harmless. Apathy and indifference, she argues, enable cruelty to persist. When we choose not to empathize, we silently collude with injustice.


Inner choices shape outer realities.
Quoting Plutarch—“What we achieve inwardly will change outer reality”—Rowling emphasizes that our internal values, thoughts, and imaginations inevitably influence the world around us. Simply by existing, we affect others’ lives; those with education, privilege, and influence carry even greater responsibility.


Privilege brings obligation.
Addressing the Harvard graduates directly, Rowling reminds them that their education, status, and nationality give them outsized influence. How they vote, live, protest, and advocate matters far beyond their immediate circles. With privilege comes the obligation to use imagination in service of those without power or voice.


We already possess the power to change the world.
Rowling closes with a powerful assertion: we do not need magic to change the world. The ability to imagine better futures—and to act on those imaginings—is already within us.


Kathleen

		


		
	







	
	


		
The Benefits of Failure & Imagination

		
	


		

	


	
	


	


		

			


In her 2008 Harvard commencement speech, J.K. Rowling spoke candidly about failure—not as something to avoid, but as a powerful teacher. Drawing from her own life, she reframed failure as a formative experience that can clarify purpose, build resilience, and ultimately lead to a more authentic life. This is the first of two posts that address the key points in her speech. In her speech, she spoke about the benefits of failure and imagination.


Failure strips away the inessential.
Rowling explained that when her life fell apart—professionally, financially, and personally—she was left with only what truly mattered. With nothing left to prove and no illusions to maintain, she was able to focus fully on the work she cared about most. Failure, she argued, removes distractions and forces honesty.


Facing fear can be freeing.
Her greatest fear—failure—eventually came true. Yet she discovered that surviving it brought unexpected freedom. Having already experienced what she feared most, she no longer allowed fear to dictate her choices. This realization gave her the courage to rebuild her life on her own terms.


Failure builds inner strength and self-knowledge.
Rowling emphasized that adversity revealed qualities she had not known she possessed: discipline, perseverance, and resilience. It also clarified which relationships were truly meaningful. These lessons, she noted, could not be learned through success alone.


A life without failure is a life unlived.
According to Rowling, failure is inevitable if one lives fully. Avoiding risk entirely is, in itself, a form of failure. Growth requires engagement, effort, and the willingness to risk falling short.


Adversity creates lasting confidence.
Emerging stronger from setbacks produces a deep sense of security—the knowledge that you can survive difficult circumstances. This confidence, earned through experience, becomes more valuable than any credential or achievement.


Define success for yourself.
Rowling warned against allowing the world to define failure or success on your behalf. Instead, she encouraged graduates to make choices guided by passion and meaning rather than fear. A life shaped by fear of failure, she implied, is far more limiting than failure itself.


Consider where fear of failure may be shaping your choices. What might you pursue if that fear loosened its grip? Rather than seeing setbacks as losses, look for what they may offer—clarity, resilience, or a new direction. As Rowling’s story illustrates, failure can become not an ending, but a foundation.




Kathleen