This post is about decision-making. One of my clients sent me the following article years ago. I just stumbled upon it again and realized how much wisdom there is in it. Take a hard look at how decisions get made within your organization. What team myths are getting in your way of making good […]
The coach is currently on vacation. The next challenge will be published 8/14/11.
The coach is currently on vacation. The next challenge will be published 6/5/11.
Dear Subscribers, As you can see from the last few challenges, I’m having lots of format difficulties and it makes the challenges difficult to read. I’m working on fixing the problems. Please excuse. Kathleen
Dear Subscribers: This week’s challenge has been a big challenge. I’ve had some technical difficulties which caused it to be a day late and now I see that the picture I attached also never showed up on the post you received in your e-mail. Please click onto the following link to my website to see […]
Good day, team,
The coach’s challenge this week is about abundance. Look around you. What do you see? Do you have everything you need? Do you have everything you want? What is the difference? Are you grateful for what you have, or do you find yourself constantly longing for what you don’t?
Recently, I’ve been reading a book about life in the slums of Bombay, India. Most of the people in this book live in small, handmade huts on the outskirts of the city. They own a change of clothes, a toothbrush, a cup, a plate, a fork and a mat to sleep on. (And these are the lucky ones!) I am amazed at how happy these people are and how they experience abundance in their lives. They are grateful for the smallest things, because they have so little. I’m also reading a book about a young girl who was born into a family of billionaires and has all she’s ever wanted. Her life is characterized by continual displeasure with everyone and everything around her. The contrast between the two stories is obvious: Abundance is not about having more and more things, but about our attitude toward the things we have.
We live in a world of enormous wealth and consumerism. The selection of products is overwhelming at times. Do you ever find yourself in the store unable to decide among the 30 brands of laundry detergent on the shelf? I often think that the time I spend analyzing which brand to buy is worth far more to me than any benefit I might derive from saving money or getting better quality with the “right” choice. I have found that I’m actually happier if I have a more limited selection. Faced with too many options, I chafe for what isn’t available, and then I’m dissatisfied with what is.
Cultivating an awareness of our surroundings is one of the best ways to experience abundance. Right now, we are enjoying the beauty of autumn as it moves into winter. Geese are migrating to their southern habitats and small birds are grateful to find birdfeeders full of seeds. Each of us can experience the abundance of this season, but only if we take the time to see it, smell it, touch it. This time of year we can be especially grateful for some aspect of our indoor environment: a warm fire and a good book to read, the beauty of candlelight on such short days, or good food with family and friends around the dining table. Perhaps you buy something new for yourself to wear over the holidays and you appreciate how well it fits or how nice the cloth feels on your skin. The next time you laugh with a friend or team member, try experiencing the abundance of being rich in relationships.
When we feel abundant, we tend to attract abundance. When we cultivate an attitude of scarcity, our minds focus on what we don’t have, and in turn, we attract less of what we need and want. Try finding something in your environment this week that makes you truly grateful. Experience how happy and abundant this appreciation makes you feel; enjoy life as William Blake expressed it in “Auguries of Innocence.”
“To see a World in a grain of sand
And a Heaven in a wild flower,
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand,
And Eternity in an hour.”
Have a great week!
Kathleen
Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249
© Copyright 2009 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights reserved.
Good day team,
The coach is currently on silent retreat. Your next challenge will be published on October 11, 2009.
Have a good week!
Kathleen
Good day, team,
My, my! September is almost gone, and I can tell by the shorter days and the long light of autumn that we are moving rapidly toward winter.
I love this time of year, although I must admit that along with the beauty comes a melancholy which creates an elusive longing in my heart. It’s not as if I long for a specific thing; the experience is more of a wistful state that comes over me at no particular time and leaves me with a sense of loss. Perhaps it’s no more complicated than the passing of summer, its promise of light and warmth and long, languid days of relaxation no longer possible.
I thought about this mix of enjoyment and regret the other day while I was meeting with a client. As I sat listening to him, trying to be open and present to what he was saying, watching his body language, hearing his tone of voice, etc., my mind kept trying to draw me into its own complicated web of opinions, attitudes and general noise that goes on in my interior world.
How difficult it is, I thought, just to sit here and try to be silent, both internally and externally. I found myself struggling with my own emotional state thoughout our meeting; something he said reminded me of a time when I had felt that same kind of frustration, and within seconds I was feeling that same anxiety. I had to work to rise above the internal chatter and emotions and just be still and listen.
I know my experience is not uncommon, and so your challenge this week is to try to be still and just be where you are: listen, observe, feel your feet, experience your breathing, whatever it takes to not act from your own internal voices; try rather to listen to what others around you are saying or not saying, as the case may be. Take it in, give it time to digest, let it rattle around in there for a bit of time.
For those of us who are highly achievement-oriented I know how hard this challenge will be. We feel compelled to do so many things in a day that the idea of not doing seems totally contrary to what were supposed to be doing. But it’s important to remember that our thoughts and feelings color so many of our actions that sometimes it’s better to just be quiet and watch.
Walt Whitman wrote:
Apart
from the pulling and hauling
Stands what I am,
Stands amused, complacent, compassionating,
idle, unitary,
Looks down, is erect, or bends an arm on an
impalpable certain rest,
Looking with side-curved head curious
what will come next.
Both in and out of the game
and watching and wondering at it.
Backward I see in my own days where I sweated
through fog with linguists and contenders
I have no mockings or arguments
I witness and wait.
Have a good week!
Kathleen
Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249
© Copyright 2009 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights reserved.
Good day, team,
This past week I’ve been reminded of the wisdom of Don Miguel Ruiz. He is the author of “The Four Agreements,” one of my favorite books.
For those of you who are unfamiliar with him, here’s a bit of background.
Don Miguel Ruiz was born into a family of healers and raised in rural Mexico by a curandera (healer) mother and nagual (shaman) grandfather. They anticipated Don Miguel would embrace their centuries old legacy of healing and teaching and, as a nagual, carry forward the esoteric Toltec knowledge. Instead, distracted by modern life, Don Miguel chose to attend medical school and later taught and practiced as a surgeon.
After studying traditional medicine and finding that its healing capacities were limited, Don Miguel began teaching the Toltec traditions he had learned from his mother and grandfather. Beginning in 1987, with his mother, the curandera Sarita, he taught small groups of people in a small room in Logan Heights, Calif. He began with healing practices. As his knowledge of English grew, he realized that he preferred to share his lineage through oral tradition.
Don Miguel’s students grew in numbers and his mythologies and guidance grew with them. He gave lectures in Santa Fe, N.M.; Los Angeles; Sacramento, Calif.; Santa Rosa, Calif.; and many other locales. When he witnessed his students struggling to quiet their minds, he began to share the wisdom that resulted in the creation of “The Four Agreements.” Don Miguel created a specific series of practical tools that, when used by anyone, can result in consistent and long-term personal transformation.
His teachings are based on common sense and shared with such simplicity that the underlying message is recognized by many. His message is straightforward, practical and, when implemented even incrementally, life-changing.
In the Toltec tradition, a nagual guides an individual to personal freedom. Combining new insights with old wisdom, Don Miguel has dedicated his life to sharing the ancient Toltec wisdom by translating it into practical concepts that promote transformation through truth and common sense.
Here are The Four Agreements:
Be Impeccable With Your Word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
Don’t Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change form moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.
Your challenge this week is to take a look at “The Four Agreements” and decide which one will help you gain more personal freedom. In my case, it will be the first one, “Be impeccable with your word.” Because I spend so much of my time at work conversing with others, this first agreement is one I have to continually be aware of and practice. Speaking with integrity requires the ability to hear what I’m saying as I say it, and that takes a lot of attention.
Whatever agreement you choose to work on this week, embrace it with compassion for yourself and others. These teachings are not meant to increase your self-judgment or to scold you. They are meant to give you guidance and peace of mind.
Have a good week!
Kathleen
Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249
© Copyright 2009 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights reserved.
Good day, team,
This week’s challenge highlights a truism about our lives. In the grand scheme of things, we are here for a brief moment in time. Our lives often seem like a long adventure, but compared to the age of our sun, or the amount of time the young redwood trees in my local park have been growing, a human life is not very long at all.
This became even more apparent last Friday evening when my husband and I attended the wake of the brother of one of his colleagues. The man who passed away—affectionately nicknamed “Rabbit” at an early age by his siblings—was not very old, but he had led a full and unusual life. Some said he lived so much life in such a short one that his passing didn’t seem altogether strange. But in looking around at the eclectic crowd of friends, family and acquaintances who collected last Friday to pay homage to Rabbit, I realized that we were all touched by his death because it reminded each of us of our mortality and that we too shall travel his path sometime in the future.
When I awoke Saturday morning, I pondered this idea of our mortality. I felt a deep appreciation for being able to get out of bed, brush my teeth, walk downstairs, receive a kind “Good morning” from my loving husband, feel the swipe of the cat’s tail on my ankle, enjoy the pleasure of that first sip of coffee. Such small things, but so lovely.
Later in the morning, our grandsons came to stay with us for the weekend. Upon seeing me, their eyes lit up, and I was greeted with the familiar “Hi, Nana!” and hugs. Again, small moments, but for anyone who has had this experience with children, there is nothing finer and more life-affirming.
Someone said about Rabbit, “He had a kindness about him and a rare ability to be so present to anyone he met; he made people feel like he truly understood them and that they were special.” He exchanged those small moments of love and consideration with anyone he connected with.
Your challenge this week is to make the most of your small moments. There is nothing more satisfying than surfacing to whatever is actually in front of you and allowing yourself to be fully aware of it. Let yourself be in whatever is happening, and revel in those small miracles that occur every moment of every day all around and within us.
At the end of our days, perhaps we can look back over the span of a lifetime and see that we allowed ourselves to be alive in all our small moments. Whether it’s the feel of the chair underneath you as you sit at your desk at work or the breeze as it softly brushes over your forehead when you walk outside, these little occurrences are what a life is made up of. Try appreciating them in whatever form they take.
As Michel de Montaigne said, “Life does not occur in large events, but in many small ones that enrich the lives we live.”
Have a good week!
Kathleen
Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249
© Copyright 2009 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights reserved.