Category: Coach’s Challenge

Good day, team,

The following story is one of my favorites. I don’t know where it came from, and I can’t remember who told it to me, but I often find myself relating it to my clients, friends and family. The story describes a good lesson about who’s responsible that is your challenge this week (it’s a bit lengthy so give yourself some time to read it).

Once upon a time, there was a Buddhist monk who lived in the monastery of the great Buddha. He had lived there for 15 years, and in that time he was privileged to be taught directly by the Buddha, whom he had grown to love as his teacher, his friend and his master.

As was the case with all monks who lived with the Buddha, after a period of time, this monk had students of his own. He was responsible for teaching his students the Buddha’s teachings and for encouraging them to put into practice what they learned.

One day, the monk found himself knocking on the door of the Buddha’s room, in hopes of gaining an audience with him. He stood there with a worried expression on his face, wondering how he would say what he had to say to his teacher. After a few moments, the monk heard the Buddha say, “Come in,” and so he entered.

The room was dimly lit with butter lamps, and the scent of incense wafted up to the wooden rafters of the small and sacred space. The monk approached the Buddha in his most respectful posture, with his eyes downcast and his hands clasped in front of him. The Buddha’s face brightened into a broad smile as the monk came forward.

As the monk knelt in front of the Buddha, he looked at the Buddha’s face and could not hide how troubled he was. This concerned the Buddha, and he asked the monk, “My son, you look so sad and worried, what troubles you?”

With a sorrowful voice, the monk replied, “Dear Master, I have come to tell you that I must leave the monastery because I have failed you.”

The Buddha looked surprised and asked, “What has happened that would make you think so?”

“I have been your faithful student for many years, and in that time I have partaken of your wonderful teachings and friendship. In doing so, it has been my responsibility to impart to others what I have learned from you to carry on your teachings. I have worked diligently over the years with my students to do that. But in one case, I have failed miserably. One of my students seems to be sincere and hard working much of the time. He meditates regularly, attends to his duties in the monastery kitchen, and even helps the other monks when they don’t understand some of the teachings. He has a loving nature and is very smart. But just when I think he has been doing all the right things, I discover that he has gone into town and been found drinking with the townspeople, playing cards late into the night and even visiting the house of prostitution on occasion. When he returns he asks nothing but forgiveness and swears that he will not do these things again, but it has happened four or five times now, and I don’t see any way to help him change his ways.

“At first, it made me angry, and, although I forgave him, I resented his behavior. But then as I worked to feel compassion for him, I realized that it was really not his fault at all but actually my fault that he was prone to these indiscretions. He is in my keeping, and I have failed him. Worse than that, I have failed you by not being able to prevent him from veering off his spiritual path. So I finally realized that he would be better off with someone else as his teacher and I must leave this holy place, since I have not been able to carry out my greatest responsibility as your devoted student. ”

The Buddha looked upon the monk with great compassion. He could see that the monk was in great pain and that coming to this decision had been extremely difficult for him.

The Buddha reached behind him where a small ginger jar was resting on his tea tray. He picked up the ginger jar and held it out to the monk.

“Take this ginger jar,” he said, “and for three days do your most earnest and devoted work. Fast, meditate and serve your fellow monks, and when three days are done, return and give the ginger jar back to me.”

The monk’s expression immediately changed to reflect his feelings of hope and salvation. Was it possible that he might be able to stay if he was able to do what the Buddha requested? There must be some magic to what the Buddha was asking, some kind of absolution that would occur if he did all the right things over the next three days, so that he could stay and continue to live the life he had grown to love so much. Perhaps by doing these things, his student would see how important it was to be perfect in one’s behavior and would change his ways as well. Whatever the solution was, the monk was relieved to think that by doing what he was asked to do, all would be well.

He eagerly stood, took the ginger jar from the Buddha and bowed to him, while exclaiming how grateful he was for the Buddha’s compassion. As he exited the room, he looked to the next three days as his opportunity to redeem himself and left the Buddha with hope in his heart.

For the next three days, the monk did all of his best work. He fasted, he meditated twice as much as usual, he offered his assistance to his fellow monks and even went into town with his begging bowl and shared what he had been given with some of the town’s poorest. At the end of three days, he felt purified and hopeful that upon hearing that he had done such good work, the Buddha would assure him that he could stay at the monastery and that his student would no longer behave badly.

He returned to the Buddha’s doorway on the morning of the fourth day and knocked.

“Come in,” said the Buddha.

The monk entered the room with a large smile on his face, holding the ginger jar tightly to his chest. He approached the Buddha with a renewed vigor, and as he sat across from his teacher, he carefully put the ginger jar in front of him, and bowed his head respectfully.

“My son, have you done as I asked you to do?” the Buddha inquired.

“Yes, Master. I have fasted and meditated. I have helped my fellow monks and given my offerings to the poor. My heart is cleansed with love and compassion. And I am returning the ginger jar to you, as you asked me to.”

The Buddha smiled. He said to the monk, “Give me the jar.”

The monk reached down, picked up the jar and handed it to the Buddha.

But the Buddha didn’t take it.

The monk was puzzled. He held the jar out even closer to the Buddha, but still the Buddha wouldn’t take it. The monk thought, oh dear, perhaps I have done this wrong. Did I hear his instructions correctly? He asked me to return the jar after three days of doing my best work, and I am doing what he asked. But he is not taking the jar.

The monk became more and more uncomfortable as the moments passed and still the Buddha did not take the jar. After some time, the monk stood up and walked backwards to the door. Perhaps he had come into the room with too much pride in all the work he’d done. I know, he thought, I’ll go out and try again, this time with the right amount of humility. He quickly exited the room, stood on the other side of the door for a moment to collect himself, and knocked again.

“Come in,” said the Buddha.

This time the monk entered the room with his eyes downcast and his head bowed in reverence to his master. He clasped the jar to his chest as he slowly made his way across the room and knelt in front of the Buddha, carefully making sure that his head was below that of his master as he sat on the floor.

The Buddha again said, “Give me the jar.” And the monk complied.

But again the Buddha would not take the jar, and the monk was even more puzzled as he sat holding the jar out in front of him without a response from his teacher.

Smalls beads of sweat began to gather along the brow of the monk’s forehead as he struggled to figure out what he was doing incorrectly. After some time, he again rose and hurriedly exited the room. Standing now on the other side of the door, the monk desperately tried to figure out what he was doing wrong. All was at stake here, and, although he thought he had done what was requested of him, something was obviously not right, because the Buddha was not taking the jar.

As he thought upon this, he suddenly realized what the Buddha was trying to teach him. A small tear fell down his cheek, because the realization greatly saddened him. But he was also grateful for the clarity it brought. Now, he knew what he had to do.

He knocked one last time on the Buddha’s door.

“Come in,” said the Buddha.

This time, the monk entered the room on his knees. He wanted his master to know that even though he was not worthy of staying, he loved the Buddha more than he could say and that whatever humility and respect he could show him was the least he could do. He approached the Buddha and set the jar down in front of him.

With bowed head and tears in his eyes, he said to the Buddha, “Dear Master, I now understand why you would not take the jar. You are trying to show me that I cannot do the simplest of things. Just as I cannot teach my student. I was too prideful in thinking that I had done all that you asked me to do with great success for three days. And then, the simplest thing you requested of me—asking me to take the jar, keep it for three days and afterward return it to you—I could not do. With this simple jar, I have seen the great lesson you are trying to teach me. I am not worthy to be your student, and I must leave. Thank you for all that you have given me and for using a simple ginger jar to show me that I am not worthy to stay.”

The Buddha sat silently. After a few minutes, he said to the monk, “Give me the jar.”

The monk was beyond reasoning and picked the jar up to hand it to the Buddha without any thought in his mind about what any of it meant. He was broken-hearted that this might be the last time he would be in the presence of his master.

Still, the Buddha did not take the jar, but this time, he asked the monk a question. “Tell me dear, monk, if you hand me the jar, and I don’t take it, who does it belong to?”

The monk sat with the jar in his hands, wondering what the Buddha was asking him. After a few moments of confusion and frustration, the monk realized that he was still sitting there holding the jar.

“I guess it belongs to me,” replied the monk.

The Buddha smiled. “Yes, the jar belongs to you. And just as it is when your student brings you his bad behavior and his apologies, if you don’t take them, who do they belong to?”

Suddenly, the monk looked at the ginger jar. If the Buddha didn’t take it, it still belonged to him. And if he didn’t take his student’s indiscretions, they didn’t belong to him either, they belonged to his student.

A smile broke out on the monk’s face. Tears of joy replaced those of sadness. He understood that he didn’t need to leave the monastery, his teacher and his friends. And he didn’t need to take his student’s problems, his bad behavior and his apologies. All of that belonged to the student, not to the monk. If the monk took them from the student, he was not only doing a disservice to himself but also preventing the student from taking responsibility for himself.

The Buddha said to the monk, “Take this ginger jar back to your room. Place it where you can see it each day to remind you. We do not do ourselves or anyone else a favor by taking on what is theirs. Each is responsible for his own.”

As the monk left the room, he hugged the jar closely to his grateful heart.

Your challenge this week? Examine who brings you jars full of their stuff for you to fix, excuse, hang on to or take ownership for. Ask yourself, does this really belong to me, and if I take it, does it prevent this person from dealing with what is really his or hers to begin with? Do I really want to take this on if it doesn’t belong to me in the first place? Remember the ginger jar.

Have a good week!

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

© Copyright 2009 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights reserved.

Good day, team,

Today’s challenge comes from one of my favorite writings, “Desiderata,” found in old Saint Paul’s Church, Baltimore, dated 1692; it is attributed to Max Ehrmann.

In rereading it, I am awed by its timeliness. There is much wisdom here and, once you’ve read it, you may choose any one of a number of suggestions it makes as your challenge this week. For me, I am choosing the sentence that reads, “Speak your truth quietly and clearly and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant: They too have their story.”

“Desiderata”

“Go placidly amid the noise and haste and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant: They too have their story.

“Avoid loud and aggressive persons: They are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

“Keep interested in your own career, however humble: It is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.

“Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection; neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is perennial as the grass.

“Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.

“You are a child of the universe. No less than the trees and the stars, you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

“Therefore, be at peace with God, whatever you conceive him [or her] to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace with your soul.

“With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy.”

Have a good week!

Kathleen

Good day, team,

Two messages have come through to me loud and clear this week. One comes from our new President-elect, Barack Obama: “Yes, we can.” The other comes from Steven Spielberg: “I wonder if I can do that? I wonder if they will let me do that?”

Both of these sentiments inspire me. In the first case, regardless of political affiliation, most of us never thought an African American would be elected president in our lifetimes. It required great courage and hard work on the part of Obama as well as his supporters to make this a reality. No one can deny that he had a vision which became a reality because he did not say maybe. He did not say it would be great if we could do this. He did not say maybe in the future some time. He said, “Yes, we can. Now is the time.” And so this week those statements and his vision have come true.

Steven Spielberg’s comments come from a speech he made last weekend at the Golden Globe Awards when he received the Cecil B. DeMille award for his major contributions to film. Spielberg has been making films for 40 years, and from “Jaws” to the current Indiana Jones film, he has influenced generations of people with his cinematic talents and creative explorations in motion pictures. In his speech, he mentioned that every time he starts to work on a new film, the thought occurs to him, “I wonder if I can do that?” Could he make a shark look so lifelike on film that it would not only send chills up the spines of the audience in the theater, but would also make anyone who’d seen the film think twice before swimming in the ocean? Spielberg had to go way beyond what anyone else had done with a camera to make the shark in “Jaws” so lifelike. The question he asked himself propelled him to go beyond what had been done before. In the beginning of his career, the question “I wonder if they will let me do that?” meant that he had to challenge the status quo in order to experiment with new techniques and innovations in film making.

In both cases, I am inspired by the courage of these men to never stop striving to make their dreams come true. And, more important, I am inspired by their ability to see that the present moment is the right moment. Spielberg didn’t wait for someone’s approval to experiment, and he seized the moment to make his dreams come true on film. Obama told us that we can’t wait to deal with the environment, health-care system and current financial conditions and that he is the best person to lead us during these tough times. The time is now, and, yes, we can deal with these issues.

By embracing what the present moment brings, these men bring us into the moment, too. It’s inspiring to watch people recognize what is directly in front of them and then have the courage to be open-hearted and courageous enough to deal with it. This balance between living your dream and being present enough to take advantage of what’s actually happening in the moment is an unbeatable combination.

Your challenge this week is to focus on that thing you want to do, recapture that dream you talked yourself out of years ago, allow yourself to say, “Yes, I can do that.” Challenge yourself to put a stake in the ground by making your vision a reality and having the courage to do something you really believe in. Don’t let fear of failure stop you from sticking your neck out and pushing yourself beyond your current limitations. Don’t let other people determine whether or not you realize your dreams. Have the courage to believe in yourself and the people around you to seize the moment and make your dream happen.

Johann von Goethe wrote, “Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now.”

Have a good week!

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

© Copyright 2009 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights reserved.

Good day, team,

Last month, I worked with a client and his team at an off-site meeting in California for two days. I’ve been working with individual members of the team since last April, so I was glad to have the chance to work with them all together. At lunch on the first day, a group of us were talking about current economic conditions and how difficult it was to get people to make decisions or commitments. There’s a prevailing attitude that we haven’t hit bottom yet and, given that thought, many find it hard to commit to projects and expenditures.

At some point, one of the team members turned to me and asked, “Well, isn’t this downturn in the economy affecting your business? I mean, it seems like most people see coaching and the development of their team members as a ‘nice to do’ rather than a necessity, and in the current state of things, we keep getting the message that unless it’s absolutely critical, we can’t do it.”

I replied that yes, some clients were cutting back, but others—like his boss— believed that now was the best time to help people enhance their skills and focus on their development. As his boss had said to me, “I want to take this time to concentrate more on helping my people develop personally and professionally. Frankly, we never have the time to do this when things are going really well. We don’t have the luxury of thinking about our own development when we’re busy just trying to keep up with supporting the business.”

I was impressed with my client’s ability to continue to see the value of professional development and for taking advantage of a slowdown in business to invest in his team. Synchronistically, as I traveled back to Portland, I picked up the December 2008 issue of the Harvard Business Review at the airport and randomly opened it. An article titled “Unconventional Wisdom in a Downturn” asked, “What best practices challenge the conventional wisdom about what to do in a downturn?”

Here are the answers to that question from the Harvard management team members who oversee the publication’s blog:

1) Protect strategic expenditures: Many executives react instinctively during economic slowdowns and cut discretionary spending across the organization. This slash-and-burn response is a big mistake because it fails to make the distinction between short-term operational and long-term strategic programs. Their attempts to cut fat and waste often slice into newly growing muscle, bone and tendon. The Harvard blog at harvardbusiness.org offers great suggestions for helping companies preserve and strengthen their strategic programs.

2) Dial down the stress level: The knee-jerk response in an economic downtown is to wring greater productivity out of people and to make them work harder for less. This just fuels resentment and burnout. A smarter approach is to be more open with employees about the business problems you face and invite them to be part of the solution. The bloggers also suggest encouraging your employees to meet critical needs in other parts of their lives so that there’s a recognition on everyone’s part that we’re all in this together, supporting each other.

3) Use downtime to enhance skills: A downturn represents an opportunity to learn something new, or to unlearn what’s become obsolete. Often managers say, “Are you kidding? When times are tough, professional development is a luxury.” Not so. Often that’s precisely when there is enough breathing room in the daily work flow to give people a chance to better themselves. Such professional development pays off most with employees whose team skills are poor but whose impressive individual performance precludes letting them go. They have already shown the level of commitment that makes them hungry for new skills and professional development. A small investment in them pays off hugely when you teach great individual performers to collaborate more effectively and the overall organization gets the message that, even in a downturn, your people are your greatest competitive advantage, so you’re more than willing to invest in them.

4) “Give me the ball” is the wrong answer: It’s no surprise that during troubled times many leaders believe it’s their responsibility to call the shots and personally execute the plays. The instinct to drive greater control is predictable. But in doing so, they end up hogging the ball instead of tapping into ideas and opening up to the team’s view of how to make the next best play. The article encourages people to take this time to ask great questions, build trust within the organization and challenge the status quo. They encourage leaders and managers to share obligations broadly during downturns to give their people more opportunities to become spontaneous and innovative. Don’t be afraid to pass the ball.

5) Discounts can be dangerous: During hard times, companies often rush to reduce prices on products and services. But discounting has its perils. The price of something is often an important determinant of its perceived value. If you discount prices purely to boost sales, buyers may begin to question the value. Consider Abercrombie and Fitch, which lowered prices by roughly 15 percent during the 2000-2002 downturn. When the dust cleared, the company realized it had sacrificed much of the brand’s cachet and lost significant market share. Discounting is not a bad idea, but you want to stay away from eroding the value of your brand. Offering discount gas rather than discounting the car is one of the few good decisions Chrysler made last year. The discount didn’t devalue the company’s main product, it just encouraged people to buy the car for the benefit of getting cheaper gasoline.

I thought about these suggestions and realized that, overall, doing any one of them goes against the knee-jerk reaction we have to fear and uncertainty. It requires us to go beyond our instinct to control, to hoard, to protect, to withdraw and to fixate on what we lack rather than what we already have.

Your challenge this week is to think of ways in which you can take the above-mentioned suggestions and integrate them into your work environment. Try broadening your approach—rather than stifling yourself and others—by being more open and willing to share and collaborate.

Living our lives from abundance rather than scarcity is possible even in the most dire circumstances. Nelson Mandela has observed that his years in captivity taught him many things. Once everything had been taken away, he finally realized the importance of that which he could never lose: his ability to love, to share the little that he had, and to try to make the most out of each day as it came.

Have a good week!

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

© Copyright 2009 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights reserved.

Good day, team,

It’s a new year and a good time to think about our resolutions and intentions for 2009. I must confess, I’ve given up on the resolution that I’ve repeated every January for the past 10 years. Each new year I resolve to lose 15 lbs. Alas, I weigh exactly what I weighed in 1999, according to an old health club application dated Jan. 6, 1999. So rather than resolve to do the same old thing that I can’t seem to do, I thought I’d try something new this year.

While I was talking with my editor yesterday evening on the phone, she told me about a recent incident in which she learned, yet again, about the importance of trusting her instincts. That struck a chord in me, and this year I’m resolving to trust my instincts.

When I got off the phone, I remembered several good examples of the benefits of trusting your instincts. Here are two of them:

One evening after work, my husband and I were driving into the city to meet some friends for dinner, traveling a busy city street with many stoplights. As we approached one of the intersections, a car from the other direction sped through at high speed, running the red light. If my husband had not slowed down and stopped, that car would have hit us for sure. We were both pretty shaken up, but continued on our way once it was safe enough to do so. After a long silence, I exclaimed, “Wow, what was that?” My husband replied, “I had a ‘blink’ moment.” He was referring to a book named “Blink” that he had just read.

“Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking” is a 2005 book by Malcolm Gladwell in which he explores the power of the trained mind to make split-second decisions. He also talks about trusting our ability to do this, demonstrating that we miss many opportunities by over-analyzing our thoughts and feelings.

Another good example occurred last year when I was working with a nonprofit to help them find a new executive director. There were some candidates whose resumes indicated they would be a perfect fit for the position, but my instincts told me that something about them wasn’t quite right. In a hiring situation, I try to remain completely open-minded throughout the process and give everyone an equal chance. But when my gut tells me that something is off, I have to dig a little deeper to find out why. In the end, my instincts were right, and as the candidates went through their interviews, those instincts proved to be accurate.

As a coach, I often find that people speak to me with two voices: the one I can hear with my ears and the one I can only hear with my heart. Sometimes a client will tell me something that is only partially true. The rest of the truth is unspoken, but something in me gets a message anyway. I recall one client saying to me, “Gee, I remember you asked me that question a month ago, and I guess I only half answered it. The truth is … .” In these moments I’m grateful for that little voice within me that knows, even though it has no intellectual basis for knowing.

Whatever your new year’s resolution, make it one that isn’t too hard to achieve. I have a feeling that this will be a challenging year for most of us, and setting resolutions that are too difficult to achieve will just tend to depress us. Trust your instincts on this one and listen to the little voice within you that already knows what you need to resolve to do this year that you can actually accomplish.

Have a good week!

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

© Copyright 2009 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights reserved.

Good day team,

Today is the winter solstice and as I look out my office window, I see a landscape covered in many feet of beautiful, white snow that has fallen on Oregon over the past few days. We don’t get too much of this stuff and so when we do, the city pretty much shuts down. A few inches of snow here and everything slows way down.

Snow has a silence about it that is like none other. It gives us an opportunity to stop all of our normal external activity and burrow inside of ourselves to listen to what’s going on in our interior world. Sometimes it’s quiet in there and often it’s not. But, I always see it as an opportunity to do a little soul searching when my regular life is interrupted and I get to sit and ponder. Nothing like a cup of tea and some introspection on a cold winter’s eve!

In that spirit, I offer you some good end-of-the-year questions to ask yourself as you gaze at the firelight and ponder this past year. These come from a post by Ariane de Bonvoisin on the Huffington Post. My husband was good enough to forward them on to me for this last Coach’s Challenge of 2008.

* What was the best thing that happened to me this year?
* What did I do this year that I’m really proud of?
* Who did I really help?
* Who do I need to thank and acknowledge for having been there for me?
* What are the top three lessons I learned?
* What increased my happiness and joy this year?
* What’s something I got through that was really tough?
* What did I avoid that I must pay more attention to in 2009?
* What character trait did I develop most this year?
* What new people did I meet that are now in my life?

“Some of these questions may take some time and thought to answer, and that’s OK. At the end you should be able to see that you’ve made some progress on at least one front in your life! Give yourself a bit of credit for that.”

I love that last sentence she wrote. Add a little bit of brandy to that hot beverage of your choice and give yourself some credit for all that you’ve accomplished this year. It’s been a doozy and we should all celebrate that we’re still here for each other.

I wish all of you Happy Holidays filled with light and love! Let’s all pray for more peace and prosperity in the coming year.

Kathleen

Note: I’ll be back with the first challenge of 2009 on January 4.

Good day, team,

Last week I experimented with the challenge by sending a link people could access and then asking for feedback. Here are some of the comments I received:

“For me, the most important statistic is that China is going to become the largest English-speaking country. Number one, it’s a relief: Chinese is SO hard. Number two, maybe it’s an opportunity to teach some people who are eager rather than apathetic about improving their English skills!”

“Pay attention to where things are going, not where they came from.”

“I don’t think that we in the USA are up to the challenge… .This doesn’t scare me, it only enlightens me to think more out of the box.”

“That is truly mind boggling; it’s stressful… . I think my challenge was to not be frightened by but to realize I am a part of this.”

Many thanks to all who responded.

These comments led me to think about the continuing efforts we all make to deal with change. Because change generally evokes an immediate response of fear, the real opportunity seems to be in summoning up the determination we need to see all change as an opportunity rather than an impediment or loss.

Over the years, many of my clients have endured huge changes in their jobs, their families, their marital status, their family ties and their health status. It astonishes me when I think about all of their stories and how fearful they were when they came to work with me. But I continue to be amazed at the magic and grace life bestows upon people who overcome the fear of change by mustering the courage and forbearance to deal with it. It is a spiritual experience for me to watch a person engage in the change that’s happening rather than resisting it.

In the first few months of the Civil War, when President Lincoln realized he could do nothing to prevent it, he willed himself to think of what good might possibly come from the altercation. Certainly, freeing the slaves was one of the great outcomes. It’s possible that the Emancipation Proclamation could have been written under different circumstances, but the war was the circumstance Lincoln found himself in, and by fully dealing with it, positive changes came about that resulted in great benefits.

Your challenge this week is to choose an area where you see change happening in your life and try engaging in it rather than resisting it. Take the energy that fear produces in your body and your heart and use it to serve you rather than wreck you. Ask others to help if need be. Sometimes I ask my husband how he would handle a particular change. He always has a different viewpoint that helps me expand my thinking and gives me new ways to approach something. Sometimes I use what I call the bottom-line trick: Ask yourself, “What’s the worst that can happen?”

If I lose my job, will I starve to death? If my marriage falls apart, will I ever find love again? If my house forecloses, will I have a place to live? By thinking through the worst scenario, we often find the strength we need to move forward to an unknown place. It may be bad, but it will still be possible to navigate some way through.

Some good always comes from even dire circumstances, although it may be very hard for us to see it.

One of my favorite quotes about change comes from Charles L. Morgan:

“The art of living does not consist in preserving and clinging to a particular mood of happiness, but in allowing happiness to change its form without being disappointed by the change, for happiness, like a child, must be allowed to grow up.”

Have a great week!

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

© Copyright 2008 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights reserved.

Good day, team,

I noticed that over the past few months I’ve been encouraging you to experiment with ways of doing things. In that spirit, this challenge is an experiment. I’ve never added a link to any of my challenges before, so I’m eager to find out if this works. Feedback, please!

I’m sending you a link below that I hope you can all access. You may have to copy it into your browser directly to do so.

Your challenge this week is embedded within the video. For each of you, it’s an opportunity to see whatever in this message strikes a chord with you, enlightens you, frightens you or educates you.

Whatever it is, spend some time this week reflecting on the message and how it affects you. I myself was overcome to realize how we are all so connected, how fast the world is moving and, in the midst of it all, how important it is for me to pay attention.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jpEnFwiqdx8

Have a great week!

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

© Copyright 2008 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights reserved.

Good day, team,

I read this remarkable story in The Oregonian on Nov. 28. Take a look:

“A 17-year-old supermarket employee who found a bag containing $10,000 at his work’s bathroom returned the money, much to the owner’s delight.

“The Tacoma News Tribune reports the bag of cash found at the Top Food & Drug supermarket in Federal Way two weeks ago had been left behind by a man from Vancouver, Wash.

“Police say the $10,000 were Fred W. Smith’s life savings, and he was carrying the bag because he was moving.

“Moisei Baraniuc—a Ukrainian immigrant who bags groceries for minimum wage at the store—says he was in the supermarket’s bathroom when he saw the bag. He peeked in and saw a ‘pretty thick stack’ of cash.

“Baraniuc says the first thing he thought about was keeping the money, but he then remembered his father’s lectures about working hard for yourself. He turned in the bag to the store’s manager, who then called police.

“Police returned the money to Smith last week after verifying the cash belonged to the Vancouver man. Smith thanked Baraniuc on Wednesday for turning in the bag.”

I thought about what I would do in this situation. No doubt it would be very tempting to keep the money. I mean, who would know? When an old guy came back into the store asking, “Did anyone find a bag full of a lot of money?” everyone in the store would think he was kind of cuckoo and tell him no. Meanwhile, think of all the things I could buy during this year’s great holiday sales!

Ah, but what if I heard my father’s voice in my head saying, “You have to earn it yourself by working hard.” How would I feel then?

This story made me think about a similar situation in the workplace. Isn’t taking credit for someone else’s work the same as taking their money? You know what I’m talking about. You work really hard on a project and finally make a breakthrough. You get it all finished and are proud that you’ve done such a good job. Then you’re in a meeting to present the results, and your boss takes the credit. Or maybe a co-worker—whom you asked repeatedly for help and who avoided you—is suddenly talking about how much work he or she put into this project and how hard it was to accomplish. How about the people who claim that they worked really hard with you as part of the team, even though they sat through all the meetings checking their Blackberrys and never contributing a thing?

It seems to me that we can learn a good lesson from Moisei Baraniuc: He didn’t take the money because he hadn’t earned it. Your challenge this week is to do the same. Try not to take credit for someone else’s hard work. If necessary, ensure also that no one on your team takes credit for another person’s work. Sometimes it’s hard to know who has done what, and in our constant desire to get things done, we overlook who actually did the work and who also contributed. Your challenge is to pay more attention to those working the hardest for you so that you can give them the credit they’re due.

Some circumstances invariably demotivate and dishearten a team, and one of them is watching somebody get the credit for someone’s else’s work and no one standing up for the person who worked the hardest. None of us likes to be in that position; as a leader, you need to protect the team’s camaraderie, which comes from all team members holding up their end of the load and giving credit where credit is due.

Fred Smith is a lucky man. An honest young guy returned his life savings and saved his life. If there is such a thing as good karma, I think that young Moisei Baraniuc just earned enough credit to make a huge deposit into his karmic life savings as well.

Have a great week!

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

© Copyright 2008 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights reserved.

Good day, team,

This week’s challenge comes from “Walden” by Henry David Thoreau. I offer it for this Thanksgiving week because it has helped me to be grateful. In this fast-moving, turbulent world, Thoreau’s words remind me of the importance of stopping to notice the wonders and abundance that are all around me.

“There are times when I could not afford to sacrifice the bloom of the present moment to any work, whether of the head or hands. I love a broad margin to my life. Sometimes, in a summer morning, having taken my accustomed bath, I sat in my sunny doorway from sunrise till noon, rapt in a revelry, amidst the pines and hickories and sumacs, in undisturbed solitude and stillness, while the birds sang around or flitted noiseless through the house, until by the sun falling in at my west window, or the noise of some traveler’s wagon on the distant highway, I was reminded of the lapse of time.

“I grew in those seasons like corn in the night, and they were far better than any work of the hands would have been. They were not time subtracted from my life, but so much over and above my usual allowance. I realized what the Orientals mean by contemplation and the forsaking of works. For the most part, I minded not how the hours went. The day advanced as if to light some work of mine; it was morning, and lo, now it is evening, and nothing memorable is accomplished. Instead of singing like the birds, I silently smiled at my incessant good fortune. As the sparrow had its trill, sitting on the hickory before my door, so had I my chuckle or suppressed warble which he might hear out of my nest.”

Your challenge? Take some time over the holidays to stop and notice the world around you.

Have a good week,

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

© Copyright 2008 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights reserved.