Category: Change

Effective Interviewing Tips for The Hiring Manager – Part 1

Good day team,

I’m happy to see that organizations are hiring again and hear about renewed interest in interview techniques. This week and next, I’ll be writing about good interview techniques – this week from the perspective of the employer and next week, from the perspective of the applicant.

First things first – a big part of what results in a good interview depends on how well the hiring manager has articulated the responsibilities and qualifications. Many companies write their job ads using a general view of the skills they want for the job, rather than specifics, e.g.. “Selected candidate will have strong financial analysis  skills” vs. “We require 3 to 5 years of financial analysis with strong business acumen, analytical, problem solving and quantitative analysis skills demonstrated in previous work experience.”

All good job descriptions make a clear distinction between the job responsibilities and the qualifications for the job. If you write, “we’re looking for someone who can thrive in a fast paced environment and communicates well” and you put that under the job responsibilities, you’ve gotten it wrong. Job responsibilities are the specifics of what you want them to do on the job. Qualifications are the specific things they’ve done in the past that qualify them for the job. For example, under the responsibilities heading – “Job responsibilities include communicating effectively in a fast paced environment across many levels of the organization”. And under the qualifications heading – “Advanced communication skills both verbally and in writing are mandatory, with demonstrated ability to work effectively in a fast paced environment with all internal and external customers.”

Most employers don’t include behaviors in their job ads. And yet, behavioral interviewing is highly effective. Specifying up-front what kind of behavior works well within your culture is a smart thing to do. If your company has a values-based culture, that is, a culture that focuses on what’s foundationally important to the company’s mission and the people who are part of it, then state that. For example, Zappos, a company with a very strong values-based culture, points that out in the first sentence of every job they post by saying, “Live the Zappos values and WOW co-workers at all levels, in all departments, customers, and vendors.” Their values are clearly defined. Zappos looks to hire people whose personal values are similar to the company’s and will, therefore, fit well within the Zappos culture. If you read Zappos values, they clearly state the employee behaviors that support those values: http://about.zappos.com/jobs/why-work-zappos/core-values

Once you’ve posted the job and selected some good candidates to interview, how do you conduct behavioral interviews? Resumes can tell us what the person has done and a little bit about how they do it. But, how do we discover what really motivates someone? What do they do on the job that gives them energy? What do they avoid? What happens to their behavior when they’re under pressure? How would others describe what it’s like to work with them? Knowing the answers to these questions is essential to making good hiring decisions.

Here are some examples good behavioral interview questions from an article entitled, “Behavioral Interviews: Use a Behavioral Interview to Select the Best”, by Susan Heathfield (this is for a sales job):
Tell me about a time when you obtained a new customer through networking activities.
Give me an example of a time when you acquired a customer through cold calling and prospecting. How did you approach the customer?
What are your three most important work-related values? Then, please provide an example of a situation in which you demonstrated each value at work.
Think of a customer relationship you have maintained for multiple years. Please tell me how you have nurtured that relationship.
Assume that your manufacturing facility shipped the wrong order to one of your important customers. Describe how you solved this problem both internally and externally.
If you are hired as our sales representative, you may see the need to change the organization of the department. How have you approached such situations in the past?
Give me an example of a time when your integrity was tested and yet prevailed in a selling situation.
And, here are some of my favorite questions to get to the heart of matter:
What excites you most about your job? What are you doing that gives you energy and what do you do that takes a energy away from you? What do you avoid doing?
How have you re-engaged in the past when you’ve felt that your commitment was waning on the job?
What are you most proud of achieving in your last job?
With answers to these behavioral questions, you can compare your candidates based upon how they get the job done and how they performed in real-life situations.
Most of the difficulties we have with our fellow team members are not based on competency issues. Those are relatively easy to fix – often just a matter of teaching them new skills. The real problems arise around their commitment to the job, how they feel about their fellow team members, and how deeply they believe in the company. If they’re not actively engaged, then no matter how competent they are, they will have a negative impact on the rest of the team. On the other hand, team members who are completely on-board and committed to supporting their team will gladly acquire the skills they need to be successful.
The best question I ever received in a job interview was:
“Kathleen, what strengths do you have that would be enhanced by this job and what makes you uniquely qualified to do it?”
I realized, when asked this question, that I’d never thought about how the job would enhance me. I always thought about how I would enhance the organization. By turning it around, the hiring manager encouraged me to talk about how well I knew myself, what worked and didn’t work in a job for me, and what I was most passionate about. In one question he exposed my level of self-awareness, my strengths and qualifications, and what kept me engaged.
I discovered later that part of the reason I got the job was that the other candidates didn’t answer his specific question because they weren’t listening. Their answers focused on what they would do to enhance the job, not how the job would enhance them.
This brings me to the most important thing you can do in conducting successful interviews – listen. Hear every thing the candidate says and note what they’re not saying. Watch them carefully, body language speaks volumes. If you’re conducting a phone interview, listen carefully for changes in tone of voice. If they start speaking faster and seem more animated, you’ve touched on something that has gotten them excited. If they stumble over their words, you’ve hit a spot where they’re not too sure of what they think. Don’t be afraid to explore those less scripted places. That’s often where you’ll discover the real person.

At the next opportunity, try using some of these interview suggestions and job description writing techniques. Don’t forget to ask your human resource professionals for help. They can be an excellent resource when it comes to writing effective job ads and improving interview techniques. A good HR person will also be very clear about what you can say in an interview and what you can’t. Always ask if you’re unsure. Employment law protects individuals from discrimination in the interview and hiring process and is very specific about questions you must not ask.
Think about your culture and what’s most important to your company. Find ways to describe what’s unique about it and don’t be afraid to let people know it’s ‘who’ you are as an organization. You’ll make better hiring decisions and save yourself many hours during the candidate screening process if you articulate up front exactly what types of experience you’re looking for and what behaviors fit well within your organization.

Have a good week!

Kathleen
© Copyright 2012 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search Inc., all rights reserved.

The Impermanence of the Material World

Good day, team.

This week’s challenge is about something borrowed. To explain, I’ll start with the description of an experience I had this past week.

Early Wednesday morning, I was at the airport waiting for a flight to San Jose for two days of meetings with a client. I was sipping my coffee and checking e-mail, trying to get a few things done before I had to get on the plane. Suddenly, I realized that all three of the diamonds in my engagement ring were gone. My heart immediately started racing. “This can’t be,” I thought. But, sure enough, they were gone. I was devastated.

I started looking around frantically. But they could have been anywhere — at home, in the car, in my briefcase, in the ladies room, anywhere in the airport. I called my husband. He was very reassuring. “Don’t worry, honey. That’s what we have insurance for. I’ll look around, but if we don’t find them, we can replace them.” That may be, I thought, but the one in the middle of that setting was the one he gave me 10 years ago when he asked me to marry him. That’s not replaceable!

I had 30 minutes until my flight was scheduled to leave. I needed to do whatever I could to find them. In my mind, I retraced my steps. Luckily, my practice of trying to be present in each moment came in handy. If you don’t pay attention to where you are, you won’t remember where you’ve been. Fortunately, I remembered many details about my morning. I went back to the security area, even though I knew the odds that I’d find the diamonds were slim to none.

It was an extremely busy morning at PDX. People were making their way through security, emerging on the other side of guards and X-ray scanners — shoeless, jacketless, beltless — fumbling around, trying to put all their stuff back in their bags. I approached one of the guards and asked whom I could talk to about something I’d lost. He pointed me in the direction of a large circular desk. A number of TSA officials were at this desk trying to deal with all kinds of issues: weird looking bottles of stuff, people who wouldn’t cooperate, a child who had run through security just for fun, etc. It was complete chaos.

I got a guard’s attention. “Excuse me, sir, but I’ve lost three diamonds out of my engagement ring. Can I go back to the line I came though and look for them?” He looked at me as if I was completely mad. “Nope, you can’t do that. Are you sure you lost them here?” He was right. I was crazy to think I could find them. Completely discouraged, I turned to walk away, but then another TSA employee reached out to me. “Draw me a picture of them and fill out this form. We’ll contact you if we find them. If you can remember what line you came through, I’ll go look around now.” I looked in her eyes and could tell that she understood what the situation meant to me. Ironically, she looked just like my Aunt Flo (my favorite aunt and godmother) — but in a pantsuit and with a badge. I thanked her, and as she went off to search, I continued to look around as well. Her kindness gave me a little bit of hope.

A few minutes went by, and I saw her walking toward me. The look on her face said it all: She didn’t find them. In that moment, I remembered something my meditation teacher told us at my silent retreat last November. “We actually don’t own anything,” he said. “Everything is on loan to us. Even if we have it for a lifetime, when we die, it goes to someone else or it expires in its own time.” In that moment, I tried to remember his words. The diamonds were on loan to me, I said to myself, and now they will be on loan to someone else. It’s the way of things. I simply borrowed those diamonds for a period of time. Still, I had to work to keep the tears from spilling down my cheeks.

I was so grateful to the TSA worker for looking, even though I knew she had come back empty handed. In that moment, without a word, she held out her right hand to me and opened it. There, in the palm of her hand, were three beautiful diamonds. I burst into tears and grabbed her. “Thank you so much,” I blubbered through tears of joy. “I won’t forget you.”

My day was different after that. The idea that we don’t actually own anything, that everything is borrowed from what already exists, resonated through all my experiences. Was this my suitcase I was carrying or just one that I borrowed along the way to use on this business trip? What if my suitcase got lost along with all of its contents? Somewhere, someone would find it, and maybe they’d turn it into lost and found at the airline desk or maybe they would keep it for themselves. In any case, it would have gone from me to them, and at some point, it would end up in someone else’s closet or stay in the lost and found at the airport unclaimed. It might even end up at Goodwill or some landfill to be discovered by someone who doesn’t have much stuff. Then he or she would borrow it for a while until it went to someone else or fell apart and went back into the earth.

There’s no doubt that the potential loss I experienced had more of an impact on me because of the emotional attachment I have to that one diamond. Does that make it any different than any other diamond that exists? In fact, no, but in principle, yes. I can see that it’s not really about the object itself but rather about what it means to me. The more it means to me the more ownership I feel, and the idea that it’s borrowed for a time is much harder to accept.

This week, consider what you own and whether or not it actually belongs to you. Do you own your home or are you just borrowing it for a period of time until someone else buys it and moves in? Are your team members with you forever or are they just on loan until they move on to another job? What would it mean if you lost your most prized possession? Would it be the end of your life? Or could you accept that it had simply been removed from your life and possibly given to someone else? Once we realize that everything is only ours for a relatively short time — whether it be for a few moments, a few years or a lifetime — it becomes easier to appreciate it more.

This week, I will send the diamonds off to a good friend who’s a jeweler, and she will make me a new ring. Maybe they’ll disappear along the way, or perhaps the ring will be returned to me with a new setting that I can enjoy for many years to come. If that’s the case, I hope I can remember that I am just borrowing them for a while, and for however long they’re in my possession, I will try to appreciate them as much as possible.

Life is like that. It’s borrowed from a much larger existence only to be lived for the short time that we claim it. Appreciate it while you have it for it can all be gone in a moment.

Have a good week!

Kathleen

© Copyright 2012 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search Inc., all rights reserved.

How To Have a Hard Conversation With Someone

Good day, team.

I’ve been reading a good book called “Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most” by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton and Sheila Heen, and would like to share some of it with you this week.

Plain and simple, a difficult conversation is anything you find hard to talk about. Whether at work or home, we all face the unpleasant feelings that come up when we know we need to have a difficult conversation with someone.

Here are some great examples:

Firing or laying off employees
Letting a client know that the project you bid on will be twice as expensive as your original quote
Telling a sibling or friend that they need to pay back the money you loaned
Explaining to one of your parents that he or she needs to move into an assisted living center
Describing to a team member that their behaviors are having a negative impact on the rest of the team

This list could go on and on. I’m sure you can remember the last difficult conversation you had and how it made you feel.

At the first thought of talking to the other person, we begin to feel dread and anxiety. Because of our aversion to these anxious feelings, we often talk ourselves out of having the conversation. Unfortunately, the longer we put it off, the greater the anxiety becomes. No matter how you spin it, delivering a difficult message feels like throwing a hand grenade, and as they say in the book, “There is no such thing as a diplomatic hand grenade.”

So, what’s the answer? By taking an in-depth look at what’s actually happening when we attempt to have these tough talks, we can become more aware of the opportunities that the hard conversations can create for all parties involved.

The book presents the idea that each difficult conversation is actually three conversations: What happened? What are we feeling? How are we identifying with this situation?

What Happened – the facts
Most difficult conversations involve disagreement about what has happened or what should happen. For example, a client thought a project was going to be completed within a certain timeframe and now it is well beyond the set deadline. The consultant says she informed the client that the deadline would have to be pushed out since project requirements had changed.

The truth is, these difficult conversations are not really about getting the facts right. According to the book’s authors, “They are about conflicting perceptions, interpretations and values. They are not about what a contract says but about what a contract means.”

Instead of arguing about what happened, the trick is to get to the real intention of a conversation. And the real intention (How can we move forward and get this project completed?) can remain invisible unless it is stated up front. Because we all act with mixed intentions from time to time, it can be difficult to understand what our intentions are, let alone express them. Taking some time to clarify our intentions before we start a difficult conversation is one way to mitigate the anxiety. Expressing your intention up front shows your listener that no matter how confusing the facts are, your intention is still the same. And, most important, you can avoid the blame that often results from making negative assumptions about the other person’s intentions.

Feelings
Every difficult conversation asks and answers questions about feelings. “Engaging in a difficult conversation without talking about feelings is like staging an opera without music,” write Stone, Patton and Heen. They advise us to share our feelings in difficult conversations. If you’re under pressure to meet a deadline and it is making you feel stress, say so. If you’re having anxiety about discussing the challenging situation, name it. The other person will feel your anxiety anyway, and owning what’s happening to you in the moment will let the listener know that this message is as hard for you to deliver as it may be for him or her to hear it.

Hurt feelings are often at the heart of anxiety in a tough exchange with someone, and not speaking about them is a way of avoiding the real issue. Of course, sometimes we need to let sleeping dogs lie to not exacerbate a situation. More often than not, however, honesty about what’s happening to us in the moment and describing our feelings with clarity and sincerity is always a good practice.

Identity
For every difficult conversation, we have an internal debate with ourselves about what the situation means to us. For example, the client maybe be asking herself, “What did I do wrong here? I thought we were on the same page in terms of how this project would go. Did I not manage it correctly? How will my boss feel about my hiring him to do this in the first place?”

It’s likely that the contsultant is having his own internal dialogue stemming from their own identifications with the situation: “I’m responsible for getting this project done, and I’ve totally disappointed my client. I can’t afford to have him see me this way.”

If we weren’t having this internal dialogue, it’s unlikely that the conversation would be so difficult. That’s because we’ve identified with the situation and the stakes have been elevated with a challenge. We may begin to ask ourselves deep questions about who we are and what we are doing.

Try asking for a raise. Many questions start to come up as we attempt to put our identity on the line: “Will my boss think I’m worth it? Do I think I’m worth it? What happens if I get turned down?” No one likes to blow their own horn because we don’t want to seem self-centered. The irony is that it’s just as self-centered to focus our inner thoughts on what people think about us as it is to act from conceit. The focus is still all about us and the real message — the facts about our achievements — never gets delivered.

Your challenge
This week, spend some time thinking about the three aspects of difficult conversations. Spend time identifying your intention before you even start the conversation. What’s the result you’re trying to achieve? Don’t be afraid to express your feelings with sincerity and acknowledge that your listener is having his or her own set of feelings during the conversation. Try not to project your inner dialogue into the conversation. Understand the difference between how you see yourself delivering the message and the actual delivery by focusing on how the other person receives your message. Both identities are being challenged in the conversation so don’t be afraid to express how you see that.

As Stone, Patton and Heen advise, “Spend seven minutes and save seven hours later. The earlier you raise an issue, catch a misunderstanding or ask a question to clarify intentions, the sooner you clear it up and move on. The longer you let things fester, the bigger the problem becomes.” So, invest a few minutes and be skillful in delivering your message to save you and everyone in your organization time, money and a tremendous amount of frustration.

Have a good week!
Kathleen

© Copyright 2012 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search Inc., all rights reserved.

Powerful A-Ha Moments

Good day, team.

This week, I share the writing of one of my clients who, in his honesty and authenticity, describes some aha moments he had this past week. Meaning, he came to deeply understand some things we’ve been working on together for the past year. I was so taken by the sincerity of his writing that I asked him if I could share it in this week’s challenge, and he has generously given me his permission.

As a coach, you can’t be attached to whether your clients fully understand how you’re attempting to assist them. But when you clearly see something that you know will help them, you encourage them to take a path to get that clarity, and when they do, it’s the most gratifying and fulfilling experience.

I am most grateful to my client, Devin Youngman, for allowing me to share his very personal experiences this past week. Here is his e-mail to me:

Hey Kathleen,

I just wanted to follow up after our last conversation. It’s been an interesting week with a lot of new information and a bunch of aha-type moments, especially during the off-site meeting.I’m still sorting through many of my thoughts in an attempt to put them together into something coherent. This week, I learned some stuff and came to some conclusions. I’m attempting to burn through the mental fog, to see the picture clearly that is in my head and set a better course.

I’ve reached a state where I’ve gone beyond what my role here at the company is and into what I really want to be doing. This is where I’ve had most of the aha moments and what is clear to me is that I’m still figuring out what it looks like. To use one of my co-worker’s analogies, some pixels have started to come into focus, but the whole picture is not yet clear.Here are some specifics of what I discovered and a bit about the process.

During our off-site meeting, as we were discussing the various roles of the newly organized teams and how they are supposed to function, I paid close attention to my energy levels: what pulled me in and piqued my interest and where I found myself starting to zone out and lose focus. As it turned out, there were many more moments of engagement than zoning out. I noticed I lost focus when I began thinking about my current situation with my job responsibilities changing and how I would position myself going forward.

As soon as I detached myself from that racket in my head (which I’m still not sure how I did), I found myself getting engaged, energized and running headlong into discussions, mental juices flowing, etc.

This off-site was a lot about building process and creating teams, empowering teams, etc., and I noticed that many of the folks at the off-site had not yet experienced the process we were implementing. So, I found myself in the role of impromptu trainer for how things work currently and the obstacles that we had overcome (or still have) and giving advice on how to do things.

This was a relatively short and minor portion of the off-site sessions, but the aha moment was when I realized that one of the things I enjoy most about what I do is the coaching/mentoring/teaching aspect of my role, which made me think about what else I could add to this list.

I know you suggested something nearly identical to this previously, but what I think was missing (what I was having the most difficulty with) was the sensation or feeling of being energized by something I’m doing. Frankly, I had gotten to a stage where I had started to forget what it was like to feel that kind of energy. I think, maybe, I needed to experience something authentic again before I could go there.

Anyway, this led me to creating two lists. The first was a continuation of the things that I do (or have done) that give me energy with a few examples and the second was a list of things I do not enjoy about my current role that suck energy from me.

(I can’t help but imagine your reaction to this, as you had me do that same exercise when we first talked about energy levels and here I am doing it again months later.)

What made the difference this time was that I didn’t look at my current responsibilities as things I needed to be doing and subsequently didn’t look for ways to find energy. Instead, I looked at what I was doing in the moment at the off-site and seeing how much energy it gave me. In addition, I realized that there were certain things I had previously (either consciously or unconsciously) ignored — probably because I didn’t want to face the reality that certain activities (like tooting my own horn to people I don’t normally work with) were things I felt were necessary and expected by others.

In many ways, I suppose, I wanted to succeed at all the things other people were doing or expected me to be doing and was not ready to admit that I was never going to get energy from doing many of those things. It’s still hard to admit, but as I’m writing this, a story suddenly comes to mind that seems relevant.

When I was in fourth grade we had one of those candy bar fundraisers for the school, which had a prize for the top few sellers.With the help of my dad and all the people he worked with, I ended up winning first prize. I received a nice little cassette player for my bedroom. I was overjoyed! But the reality was that I had only personally sold maybe 20 percent of the candy bars. Dad and his co-workers had done the rest.

The following year, they did the same fundraiser, and I was gung-ho to win first prize again. The competition was much more fierce that year as the prizes were better and the rest of the class realized what they could get if they won. Consequently, that second year it was much harder to win. Also, my dad had changed to the graveyard shift and had far fewer team members so I knew there was no longer an extended team that would help me sell candy bars.

So what did I do? Well, I was damned if I wasn’t going to win that first prize again. My friends all thought I was going to win again, and I had already been imagining what it would feel like to win two years in a row. The expectations were high.

Every day after school I went house to house, until it became too dark to see (even knowing I’d get in trouble if I didn’t get home by dark) because I wanted to win. I hit every nearby neighborhood, family member, church member — some repeatedly. I didn’t go anywhere without a full box of candy bars in case I ran into someone, anyone, who would be willing to buy them.I ended up winning again that year, though I couldn’t even tell you what the prize was. What I didn’t realize until years later was that I didn’t really want to win, but rather, I simply didn’t want to fail. I had built it up in my head that I KNEW I could do it, that people expected me to do it, and therefore I HAD to do it. The prize and recognition had lost all meaning, but how could I let people see me fail? It sucked up so much of my energy and I was so relieved that it was over, I didn’t even care that I won or what the prize was — the point was I hadn’t failed and I didn’t need to sell anymore candy bars (to this day I avoid sales related jobs or tasks like the plague).

Eventually, it occurred to me the following year, that there was a loophole in the system I had created. In the first year, by using my dad and his co-workers, I hadn’t really sold all that candy. I understood that to cheat was not to play fairly. And in the second year, what really motivated me was not failing in the eyes of others. It had nothing to do with selling candy and winning a prize. Also, in the second year, I lost so much energy from the entire experience that in my sixth grade year I didn’t sell a single candy bar. Whenever someone asked me how I was doing in the competition, I just told him or her I wasn’t selling that year. I don’t remember what I said when people asked me further about that, as I’m sure they did, but I never, ever told anyone the real reason.

Anyway, I know that was a long-winded tangent (it just came out as I was typing), but my point is that the feeling is the same today as it was then. There are some aspects to what I’ve been doing in my role that suck so much energy out of me that none of the energizers can balance. I’ve let it drain me to the point of apathy and so, in some cases, I mentally decide not to play. On the other hand, the things I mentioned such as coaching, mentoring and training give me a great deal of energy and are things I truly enjoy.

So where to go from here? I’ll admit, my brain is swirling with thoughts, ideas and events from the day. Now, back at the office, I had more one-on-one meetings today than I think I’ve ever had in one day, some of which should have drained me to my core. The entire day has been very emotional, but somehow it’s given me more energy. My energy level has peaked. I mean, look at the length of this email and I still have three sheets of paper with notes on them that I was going to send you.

But you know what? I’m not going to analyze it at the moment. I think there’s something important swirling in there, and if I’ve learned anything this week, I don’t want to force it.”

Many threads in this writing could be the starting point for your challenge this week. It could be to simply observe what gives you energy in your job and what takes it away. It could be to ponder what it feels like to fail. My client has given us plenty to choose from in his sincere writing. I’m choosing the importance of the aha moments that I’ve had in the past and how they are currently helping me to better understand myself and the world around me. Whatever you choose, I hope it leads you to your own aha moment this week.

Have a good week,

Kathleen

“ © Copyright 2012 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search Inc., all rights reserved.

Don’t Be Afraid to Think Differently

Good day, team.

This week’s challenge is about the struggle to stay current as we get older. A recent experience illustrates my point.

My office exists above a successful bakery and coffee shop in NE Portland. Needless to say, the early morning aromas of fresh-brewed coffee, muffins and bacon, wafting from the first floor to the second, present strong temptations.

Until recently, I occupied the largest office at the front of the building in of a suite of five. When you live in Portland, getting any kind of light into an office space, especially during the gloomy grey days of winter, is a luxury. I rented that particular office because it had an entire wall of windows facing south.

This past year, three fellows moved into the smallest office in the back. They had recently left their employment with a successful company to create their own startup. I could feel their excitement about their new venture, and everyone in our suite of offices encouraged them in their efforts. After almost a year of presenting their ideas to venture capitalists (a grueling process at best), they received a considerable amount of funding for their startup. The money arrived the second week of December — what a great holiday gift and a terrific way to start the new year!

Along with the funding, however, came the realization that they would now need to hire more people and expand. They were already crammed into the small office in back and began to look at office space in other locations. If you’ve ever shared office space, you know how rare it is to find people who all get along, and none of us wanted our startup guys to leave. So I decided to sacrifice my large office with all the light and proposed that we switch places. The startup guys thought this was a great idea, and when we all returned from the holidays, we commenced the move.

Fortunately for me, these three, young guys helped move me out of my office. After moving all of my furniture, books, rugs and other supplies into our shared reception area, I looked at it all and wondered how one woman could accumulate so much stuff in a year’s time (perhaps fodder for a future challenge). As I stood there, one of our other suite mates commented as he walked by, “Geez, it looks like an antique shop!” I was devastated! Was all my stuff so conservative and old-looking that someone would make such an observation? I looked at everyone else’s office décor. One could only describe it as somewhere between contemporary garage sale finds and IKEA. My Oriental rug, mission-style desk and comfy chairs looked ancient in comparison. I wondered, “Are my office belongings a reflection of my antiquated thinking? Have I reached an age where my thoughts and attitudes, which I often don’t question, reflect my age and many years of business experience rather than being particularly relevant to the present modern times?”

A few days later, in talking with my landlord about moving my landline from my old office to the new, he asked me why I even had a landline. “Don’t you use your cellphone most of the time anyway?” I had to admit that I did. There it was again. Had I become such a fuddy-duddy that I hadn’t even thought about why I had a landline? In my world, if you have an office, you have to have a landline. “But Dan,” I said, “I’ve had that phone number for 14 years!” “Well, that’s not a problem,” he replied. “Your cellphone company can simply port the number to your cellphone. The real question is, why do you even need that number anymore?” As I considered this, I realized I was actually attached to my phone number. Like having a pet for 15 years, I had grown an emotional attachment to a set of numbers!

Whether or not I get rid of my landline is not the point, but how I use my landline and whether or not that’s still relevant for my business is what’s most important. This means I need to change my thinking from “That’s the way I’ve always done it” to “Is this the best use of technology for my business?”

These thoughts caused me to make a resolution for 2012. This year, I will try not to assume that just because something was true before, it’s true now. There’s a lot to be said for practical experience, and I’m sure many of the solutions I recommend to my clients are still sound and work well. But I’ve resolved to question my thinking more often and to try new things. Part of the benefits of sharing office space with young people involved in a startup is that I get to witness how flexible they are in their thinking. They come to the venture with very few preconceived notions, and they’re not afraid to explore new territory. In fact, their new company is based on just that, a brand new set of ideas and possibilities.

This week, try experimenting with your thinking. Don’t be afraid to question your assumptions and talk about new ideas with your staff or business partners. Maybe you’ll reconsider some of the processes you’ve had in place for a number of years and change them or maybe even eliminate them altogether. Try asking yourself “Why?” rather than “How?” when it comes to the way you do things. You might even create a new meeting each month for the sole purpose of generating new and creative ideas. Ask people to come to the meeting with the attitude that the sky is the limit and that no ideas, thoughts or questions are stupid or inappropriate.

With the passing of Steve Jobs last year, I realized how much this man changed my life because he wasn’t afraid to think out of the box. He thrived on new ideas, creative solutions and that wonderful energy that comes from successfully doing something no one has ever done before. As he said, “Innovation comes from people meeting up in the hallways or calling each other at 10:30 at night with a new idea or because they realized something that shoots holes in how we’ve been thinking about a problem.”

This week, consider thinking and acting in new ways. As this quote from author and inventor Roger von Oech advises, “It’s easy to come up with new ideas; the hard part is letting go of what worked for you two years ago but will soon be out of date.”

Have a good week,

Kathleen

© Copyright 2012 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search Inc., all rights reserved.

Great Suggestions for New Year’s Resolutions

Good day, team.

It’s a new year, and I’m happy to say that I’m feeling more encouraged and invigorated by 2012 already. I think 2011 will go down as a challenging year for most of us.

This past week, I had many thoughts about what resolutions and goals I wanted to make this year. I’ve often made the mistake of choosing things I can do for awhile, but then my resolve weakens and the goal is lost. This year, I’m taking some advice from an article a client sent to me about small things we can do at work that will be helpful. Although this article is already 4 years old, it’s still as relevant as ever.

Rod Kurtz, the senior editor of Inc.com, says workers tend to overlook office behaviors when making New Year’s resolutions. In his December 2007 article, “11 Ways to Make your Job Better: Office Resolutions for 2008”, Kurtz suggests the following resolutions to improve your workplace lifestyle:

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Fight the tyranny of the urgent. Be more productive by finishing small projects. Block off a period of time each day to take care of small tasks, leaving more time to spend on larger projects.

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Clean your desk. A lot of clutter makes it hard to be productive, and a messy desk can equal a bad day. Take a few minutes each day to organize the piles.

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Don’t be self-absorbed. Try not to ignore others; it may rub co-workers and subordinates the wrong way.

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Come in early, leave on time. This forces workers to plan their day rather than wasting time and putting tasks off until later. Staying late isn’t always the best method.

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Go to the gym — or don’t. Exercising relieves stress, but the gym isn’t the only answer. Workers can dance or participate in other activities outside the workplace.

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Don’t shoot from the hip. Read through your e-mails and text messages before sending them. Make sure you know what you are saying.

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Spend more time with your family. Make an effort to be with your family. They are as important as clients (if not more so).

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Thank people and give positive feedback. Try to reward a co-worker with recognition. A simple thank you can go a long way and make people feel better about their jobs.

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Take time to vacation. Taking a break from work can be good for our bodies and minds, a mental break for our batteries to charge. Bringing work on vacation doesn’t count.

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Develop yourself. Be in charge of your professional development. Taking a new course or asking co-workers or outside professionals for help can increase your knowledge.

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Acknowledge your shortcomings. You need to realize that you aren’t perfect. Recognize your weaknesses and ask others for help. Identify your strengths and be willing to help others where they are not as strong. This will help strengthen work relationships.

Kurtz also suggests that the more specific you make your resolutions, the better chance you’ll have of continuing the behavior. So, for example, instead of saying, “I’ll keep my desk clean,” it would be more effective to plan to spend 10 minutes out of each day cleaning your desk. Write down your resolutions and review them. This will help remind you of what you resolved to do.

Your challenge this week is to choose resolutions and goals that are achievable. Be honest with yourself. If you resolve to lose 10 pounds, what are you willing to do each day to lose that weight? Expecting yourself to lose it all within a month is probably unrealistic. Cut yourself some slack when it comes to holding yourself to your resolutions. Consistent, small steps generally get us to our destination even if we don’t arrive there as quickly as we’d like.

Have a good week!

Kathleen

Note: Many thanks to my friends at Reclaiming Futures for sending me this article!

© Copyright 2012 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search Inc., all rights reserved.

Winter is the Season of Renewal – Use This Time to Your Advantage

Good day, team.

Outside my window this morning, the gray skies hang heavy over leafless trees. Frost clings to my unhappy rose bush, and I feel a cold draft seeping through the window frame. Why, when everything else has gone underground to sleep, do we continue to be as active as ever? If it were April and the days were becoming warmer and all the trees and plants were in bud, I could understand it. But now?

As I page through my calendar for the next two weeks, I realize how busy I am during the holiday season. There is something strange about working hard this time of year. I often think the month between Thanksgiving and Christmas should be one of rest rather than work. However, like everyone else, I seem to be scurrying around trying to get stuff done before year-end.

Somewhere along the line, we human beings created a world in which we don’t have to pay much attention to the seasons. We stay warm in winter, cool in summer, and at least on the west coast, we can buy any kind of vegetable or fruit we want all year long. Believe me, I’m as grateful for these conveniences as anyone but I’m also aware that because of them, we keep up the same busy pace pretty much all year long, with an occasional few weeks of vacation here and there.

Winter is actually a time of renewal. It’s the time when nature draws its energy underground to rest. People who live in more primitive settings live inside and rely on what they’ve harvested and stored to nourish them through the winter months. Animals acknowledge the shorter days and sleep more. I find myself going to bed much earlier in winter. Who needs to stay awake after 9 p.m. when it’s already been dark for four hours?

Here are some thoughts from educator and writer Margaret Wheatley, who contributed to the book, “Leadership and the New Science.” In these writings, she acknowledges this time of renewal as it relates to business.

“Renewal most naturally occurs in late fall and winter when the leaves are off the trees and life appears still. Renewal is the time to remember our true nature. How do we do that? We remember who we are by becoming silent witnesses, by being instead of acting. Renewal is a time to be a human be-ing. If vision is the in breath and action is the out breath, then renewal is the space between the breaths. Renewal is the time to let go and to make space for a new or refreshed vision to emerge, so that the cycle may begin again. Renewal is called for when our vision is no longer assuring or our actions aren’t in alignment with our vision. Renewal is the time to assess our work in its own context as well as in the context of our lives and purpose. Renewal asks, ‘What really matters now?’ and is the time to tell the truth and to ask questions rather than to give answers. Answers encourage blinders: Questions open us up, free and empower us.

“Renewal is a time to tell the truth about what is so, and then to face that truth. It is the time to heal our selves, to remember who we are. And when we remember who we are, we bring our authentic selves forward.

“Renewal is a time to surrender what is no longer useful. There is often an aspect of death in renewal, as letting go may require the end of a way of thinking or operating, the end of a product line, closing down a factory, letting go of a dream. The very act of renewal is a surrender of doing.

“Once we let go, we often experience a sense of release and new energy. We also experience a sense of spaciousness. The often irresistible temptation is to fill that space immediately, as not knowing may be very uncomfortable. This space is best used as a time of questioning and allowing. This space may last a moment, a week, or several months or more in time. This space is the rich, fertile ground out of which true vision emerges.”

Give yourself permission to embrace this season of renewal by finding ways to rejuvenate your inner resources. The first of the year will be here before we know it, and then spring will be right around the corner. Now is the time to restore some of your vital energy to be able to approach the new year and coming spring with vigor and a new attitude.

Have a good week!

Kathleen

© Copyright 2011 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search Inc., all rights reserved.

What’s The Difference Between Managing and Leading?

Good day, team.

I’m often asked by clients what the difference is between managing and leading others. There’s an assumption that people who manage others are automatically leaders. However, if we look at the definition of the words, we see that they are actually quite different. A simple definition of “lead” is “to go before or with to show the way.” The definition of “manage” is “to bring about or succeed in accomplishing something.”

In doing research about the differences between managers and leaders, I’ve found lots of information about how to become a good manager. But when it comes to defining great leaders, the information is less about what they do and more about who they are and how they impact others. As one of my clients said, “Good managers get it done. Great leaders inspire others to get it done.” Indeed, all the great leaders I’ve known inspire and motivate people. But there’s still much more to being a great leader.

Here’s my description of what leaders do:

Great leaders move people and events forward. They inspire others to commit and engage. They reflect their personal passion for achieving the best for themselves and everyone around them. They are not afraid to be vulnerable and courageous at the same time. Their presence is powerful because it is authentic. Wisdom, compassion and making a positive difference in the lives of others becomes their legacy. Here are the four essential practices of leaders:

Shape Strategic Thinking
Inspire a sense of purpose and direction
Focus strategically — on the big picture
Harness information and opportunities
Show judgment, intelligence and common sense

Cultivate Productive Relationships
Nurture internal and external relationships
Facilitate cooperation and partnerships
Value individual differences and diversity
Guide, mentor and develop people
Listen, understand and adapt to your audience

Engage and Align
Build organizational capability and responsiveness
Steer and implement change, and deal with uncertainty
Build on and champion individual and collective expertise
Ensure closure and deliver on intended results

Lead by Example
Do what you say; say what you do
Engage with risk and show personal courage
Commit to action and display resilience
Tell the truth and communicate with clarity
Demonstrate self awareness and a commitment to personal development

If you are in a leadership position, your challenge this week is to ask yourself which parts of this description align with how you lead and which parts do you ignore. Perhaps you already do what you say and say what you do, but you have trouble engaging in risk and showing personal courage. Maybe you enjoy mentoring others but have trouble cultivating external relationships. Be honest with yourself when you do your assessment.

If you aren’t currently in a leadership role but aspire to becoming more of a leader, take a look at the description to see what you might need to cultivate in yourself. Consider the differences between managing and leading, and think about these roles in terms of your own strengths and capabilities.

Perhaps your working as an individual contributor. Think about what kind of person you would wish to follow as your leader. Do they exhibit the kinds of characteristics mentioned above? Who would you want to lead your team, your project, your country?

In closing, here are two of my favorite quotes about managing and leading:

“Management is getting work done through others. Leadership is taking people where they haven’t been but need to go.” — Don Roberts, Human Capital Advisory Services, Deloitte and Touche

“Management is the delusion that you can change people. Leadership is deluding other people instead of deluding yourself.” — Scott Adams, The Dilbert Principle

Have a good week,

Kathleen

PLEASE NOTE: The coach will be on vacation from 11/24 to 12/3. The next challenge will be published on Dec. 4, 2011. Happy Thanksgiving!

The Challenges and Benefits of Vulnerability

Good day, team.

First, I apologize that I was not able to publish a challenge last week. I had an accident on Saturday night and couldn’t send what I had written. I will send that challenge at another time when it seems more appropriate.

As many of you know, I fell down a flight of wooden stairs and landed on my face. I sustained a concussion, broke my nose, fractured a vertebra in my upper spine, and received numerous bruises and lacerations. Last Sunday, I looked like a ringer for the best Halloween zombie costume!

After three hours of emergency surgery, I was hospitalized until this past Wednesday and have been recuperating at home since then. Each day I make more progress. Many of the small things I previously took for granted have been such a joy to reintroduce into my day: breathing through my nose, having my taste buds re-emerge, brushing my teeth, reading a book. I do these small, banal activities each day without even thinking, but after days without them, it is so sweet to begin to do them for myself again. Of course, this accomplishment comes after having been completely dependent on others to care for me, from the moment my husband flew down the stairs to help me until I returned home from the hospital.

Herein lies the subject of this week’s challenge: vulnerability. The word vulnerable comes from the Latin vulnera, which means “to wound.” It is defined as, “capable or susceptible of being wounded or hurt, open to moral attack, criticism, difficult to defend.” All of these definitions elicit fear in us. Being completely defenseless and vulnerable with others is an experience we rarely allow to happen. Only when we are unable to defend ourselves from people or circumstances can the experience of being vulnerable occur.

Never have I been more vulnerable than I’ve been this past week. I’ve had no choice but to surrender completely to the care and consideration of others. The joy in this has been to see how incredibly loving and compassionate everyone has been. I have such clear memories from this past week: the elderly Latina ER nurse murmuring, “Parajito herido” (little wounded bird) with such tenderness as she cleaned the blood off my face; the surgeon placing his strong, reassuring hand on my shoulder as they wheeled me into the operating room; and the look of such love and relief on my husband’s face as he held the straw up to my mouth for my first sip of water after surgery. These images are chiseled into my memory.

I am a pretty controlling person. I have a hard time letting other people do things for me without giving them directions or advice. I’m in the business of serving and advising others on a daily basis, which is not uncommon for someone who has a controlling nature. The idea of being vulnerable is abhorrent to people like me. That’s why this past week has been such an eye opener. Being so vulnerable, I’ve had no choice but to let others take care of everything and just receive their love and kindness without resisting. And I can see how that is helping me heal — on a much more profound level than I ever imagined.

This week, consider letting your defenses down for a moment or two to allow others to help you. When someone offers to bring you coffee or pick up your dishes, let them. In meetings, don’t keep talking if you really don’t know the answer to a problem. Stop talking and ask others for help finding the right answer. If you’re having trouble trusting someone, try assuming positive intent and seeing what the outcome is. Sometimes we have to trust a little more than we’re comfortable with to find out that it’s okay. If you’re always the driver, how about sitting in the back seat and letting someone else drive? You may actually enjoy the ride instead of being so determined to get everyone to the destination.

In my moments of vulnerability this week, I received so much more than I would have asked for myself. By not controlling what was happening, things and people came to me naturally, and each gift was exactly what was needed in the moment.

This life, this dream, we so often take for granted — or try to control — can change in an instant. In each moment, we can experience so much love and beauty if we only allow ourselves to receive it. Give yourself time this week to receive what others have to give you. Surrender — there is so little to lose and so much to gain.

Have a good week!

Kathleen

© Copyright 2011 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search Inc., all rights reserved.

Try Being Out of Time

Good day, team.

I opened the newspaper the other morning and read the following:

“What exists everywhere in the universe but occupies no space? What can be measured but not seen, heard, smelled, tasted nor held in our hands? What can be spent, saved, frittered away or killed but never destroyed?”

These riddles are on display at the National Watch & Clock Museum in Columbia, Pa., a fascinating place that showcases 12,000 clocks, watches, timepieces and timekeepers in 18,000 square feet of museum space. Truly, an horological wonder!

The New York Times article, “Where Every Second Counts” by Edward Rothstein, not only describes the museum but examines how measuring time has defined humanity. Time gives us a way to organize our lives within its boundaries. It makes planning and strategy possible. It allows us to form into groups and get things done. It increases our awareness of what remains constant and what changes. Since the beginning of time, humans have observed the patterns of nature (sunrises, sunsets, solstices), and these repetitions have given pattern to our experiences. Time has allowed us to see that each experience has a beginning and an end. Each measurement of time has a start and a finish.

Reading the article made me think of my own questions around this mystery we call time. Where does it go after it passes? What are we measuring when we tell time? How has the way we measure time fundamentally changed the way we live our lives? Why do I never seem to have enough of it?

I’m having a hard time, for example, realizing that it’s almost the middle of September in a year that has gone by at lightening speed. Today is the 10th anniversary of 9/11, and it’s hard for me to believe that a decade has passed. And as I get closer to my 60th birthday, I have very little understanding of what it means to be alive for 60 years.

Every week, my calendar — one of the major ways we organize time — dictates how I spend each day. I find myself thinking, “How can I save more time for myself or make more time to spend with the people I love?” And each week, I continue to go from one appointment to the next trying to get the most out of the time I have.

This weekend, I found myself sitting in a chair staring into space. It suddenly dawned on me that I had nothing I had to do, no place I had to be, no appointment that needed keeping and I could just sit there. The moments ticked by. The thought arose, “Am I wasting my time?” “I think not,” was the inner response. Perhaps in these moments, I am not allowing time to waste me.

This week, take a moment to be out of time. Let it go. Allow all the appointments and commitments and time-oriented things in your life to fall away. Just for a moment or two, allow time to pass without trying to control it.

As Golda Meir said, “I must govern the clock, not be governed by it.”

Have a good week!

Kathleen

© Copyright 2011 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search Inc., all rights reserved.