April 12, 2004

Good morning Team,
Here is the “Coaches Challenge” for this week.

“Try not to be defensive”. We often find that this is the common reaction to last week’s challenge of no blame. When we feel we are being blamed, we are often defensive. The reality is that if we are trying to do our best, there is nothing to defend. Try to see how often you defend yourself with others. More importantly, notice how often you defend yourself internally. Thoughts like, “they really don’t understand me, I’m the one that was right, they just don’t get it” are a form of inner defensiveness. Sooner or later, this inner defensiveness gets projected out onto to someone else.

The key to neutralizing our defensiveness is acceptance. At the end of the day, things are as they are and no amount of self-defense will change them.

Have a great week!

Kathleen

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Kathleen Doyle
Scout Search & Pathfinders Coaching
2839 NE Hoyt St. Portland, OR 97232
+1 503 296-9249 www.scoutsearch.net

Better to Ask Questions Than to Make Assumptions

Good morning Team,

The coaches challenge for the week is to learn to ask questions. In The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz writes, “It is always better to ask questions than to make assumptions. Have the courage to ask questions until you are as clear as you can be. Once you hear the answer to questions, you won’t have to make assumptions because you will know the truth.”

Sometimes, what seems to be the stupidest question becomes the best question. It’s often the question no one is courageous enough to ask because they don’t want to appear stupid to others. Malcolm Forbes wrote, “The smart ones ask when they don’t know. And, sometimes, when they do.”

Have a great week!

Kathleen

Sara Bentley

“In my new role, I work with Kathleen as a trainer, as a coach for myself and as a coach for managers who report to me. Kathleen is skilled at getting individuals to open up, get to the root of the issue, to honestly assess their strengths and opportunities for growth. Kathleen provides solid, practical advice on how to work through the issues that are impacting performance so that managers can be successful. She cuts through all the rhetoric and baggage to get to the heart of the matter. Kathleen challenges individuals to take responsibility for their success. I appreciate that she does this in an efficient manner through concise, regularly-scheduled meetings and telephone follow-up conversations. ”
Sara Bentley, Chief Operating Officer, OCP Publishing, Inc.

Jean Germano

“Sometimes it is difficult to see the obvious. Kathleen, with her excellent coaching, led me gently but firmly to find my own answers. Her experience and sensitivity helped me set goals, identify my strengths, and to move forward. I could not have had a better guide on this part of my journey.My transition was so much easier thanks to her skills.”
Jean Germano, Portland Artist

Sarah Hart

“Going to Kathleen Doyle-White for coaching has been an excellent business and personal investment. Her breadth of knowledge, her astute observations and her amazing storytelling abilities make each session productive and interesting. I never know exactly what to expect when I go in, except to trust that I will be absolutely safe to explore and uncover what is working and not working with my employees, my business and myself. Sessions can be delightful, provocative, intense, fun and I always come away with new insights and tools. I feel honored and blessed to get the opportunity to work with someone like her. She’s incredible.”
Sarah Hart, Owner, Alma’s Chocolates