Good day, team,

The coach’s challenge this week is about balancing work life and personal life. It may seem a strange subject to bring up in the midst of summer vacations, but what better time to think about this topic when the nice weather beckons us to enjoy it and take some time off?

I’ve often gone on vacation only to find myself more stressed than refreshed when I’m done. Vacation has more to do with a state of mind and how we spend our vacation than how much time we take off. How often do we try to use the skills that make us effective at work-organizing, controlling, directing-to make our vacation a success, only to find that it is exactly these skills that are not compatible with a state of rest and relaxation? Putting ourselves in a relaxed mode is a real trick when we’re generally moving quickly and efficiently throughout our days.

The key to balancing work and personal time seems to be in our ability to allow ourselves to be aware of where we are and what we’re doing when we’re doing it. If we’re still thinking about work while we’re talking to our families, we really are not very effective at communicating with them. If we’re lying in the hammock on the weekend worrying about something at work, how much are we able to relax? Conversely, if we’re in a meeting dreaming about our upcoming vacation, we’re obviously not being effective at work.

This week, try spending at least 30 minutes each day (outside of work!) just relaxing and allowing yourself to “vacate.” Try not to put any demands on yourself. In the words of Josephine Rathbone, “If we could learn how to balance rest against effort, calmness against strain, quiet against turmoil, we would assure ourselves of joy in living and psychological health for life.”

Have a great week!

Kathleen

Good day, team,

The coach’s challenge this week is about paying attention to people. New studies have shown that customers who feel they get special attention from someone serving them are far more loyal to the company that employs that person. Even when customers have a problem that doesn’t get resolved, if they think that the people helping them are doing everything they can to fix the problem, they are much happier in the long run.

This phenomenon is also true for managers in regard to their team members. If you consistently give your team members your full attention, they will be far more motivated to do a good job for you. Everyone wants to feel special, and we have the ability to encourage and motivate the people around us just by giving them our attention.

As a manager, you are the model of ethical behavior within your environment. Team members look to you constantly to understand the right way to do things. Your attention in each moment is their cue to your leadership style. If someone comes to talk with you and you’re frequently interrupted by your BlackBerry, your phone or your computer, that person will never feel as though he or she was important enough for you to pay attention to. If you say you’re going to attend a meeting and then, with no advance notice, don’t show, people feel diminished. These behaviors leave employees with a negative perception and reaction: “My manager doesn’t really care about me or what I’m doing, so I’ll just do whatever I want.” At that point, disengagement sets in, and the result is often teams of apathetic people.

If we have the courage to be truly attentive to people, they will be more committed to the team’s success. It helps your team members see that, regardless of the situation, you’re ready and willing to deal with anything effectively to keep the ship on course. It makes them feel listened to and attended to. If you do that for them, they will be much more willing to do it for your customers.

This week, go on a walk-about as often as you can. Stop and chat with your team members. Ask them how they’re doing and if they need help. Find out if they had a “win” this week, and if so, what it was. Life is all about connection, and people need to have the chance to relate to you emotionally.

In this regard, I am reminded of a poem by David Whyte:

This is not
the age of information.

This is not
the age of information.

Forget the news,
and the radio,
and the blurred screen.

This is the time
of loaves
and fishes.

People are hungry,
and one good work is bread
for a thousand.

Go out and give your attention to your co-workers. You are their inspiration.

And… have a great week!

Kathleen

Good day, team,

While on vacation this past week, I read an interesting magazine article by Marshall Goldsmith, a very famous executive coach. In speaking about an executive whom he is currently coaching, he wrote, “During the next year, Bill will be barraged with competing goals that will distract him from his efforts to change. He needs to realize that lasting leadership development is a lifelong process. A temporary change in behavior to ‘look good’ in the short term will only create cynicism if Bill doesn’t stick with it. I can help Bill if he is willing to put in the time and effort. If not, hiring me would probably be a waste of everyone’s time.”

This advice reminded me of my goal to lose some weight this past week. I was all set to go on vacation and watch everything I ate and drank. I had a clear idea of exactly what I could eat and what I couldn’t drink in order to meet my goal of losing 10 pounds. I thought, “This will be easy. I’ll have plenty of time and incentive to change my diet, and losing that 10 pounds will be a piece of cake (so to speak!).” So what actually happened? Of course, I didn’t lose a pound and, in fact, I probably ate more things that were not good for me than foods appropriate for the diet.

Now that I’m back, I realize how foolish it was for me to think I could actually change my behavior that quickly, especially when it came to depriving myself on vacation. Aren’t vacations about letting go of our normal disciplines and enjoying our selves? The thoughts that wanted to have fun were not compatible with the ones that wanted to lose 10 pounds, that’s for sure!

Goldsmith continues, “Look in the mirror. Not just at how you look, but who you are. If you want to be a better leader, a better professional, or just a better person, don’t kid yourself. To achieve meaningful goals, you’ll have to pay the price. There’s no product, no diet, no exercise program, and (I hate to admit it) no executive coach who can make you better. Only you can do it. If your source of motivation doesn’t come from inside, you won’t stick with it.”

Your challenge this week is to identify one area where you have a strong desire to change. Ask yourself whether this is something you really want and, if so, what you’re willing to change in order to achieve it. Then, try to be practical and steadfast in your approach. Real change only happens from the inside out. It’s not about tips or techniques. It’s about consistent, persistent, daily efforts.

Have a great week!

Kathleen

on vacation

Good day, team,

Recently, I asked a few of my clients what is one important factor they try to keep in mind in their everyday interactions with others. Many responded with the same advice: try to speak consciously and with integrity.

In countless employee surveys each year, “communication” continues to be the issue that everyone says is most important: Either there’s not enough of it, or what exists is incorrect or misleading, even going so far as to become destructive gossip. Companies spend millions of dollars a year trying to improve their own or their employees’ communication skills.

We are individually responsible for the way we communicate. If I tell a colleague that I appreciate the work he’s done, but I roll my eyes disdainfully, he’ll obviously get a mixed message. And the message he’ll believe is the one communicated in my facial expression, gestures or tone of voice. Our body language speaks volumes; we often forget that communicating involves not just our spoken words but also our unspoken actions.

Our minds are like fertile ground in which seeds are planted. When we speak the truth and encourage that in others, that fertile ground sprouts healthy plants that grow and flourish. We often don’t realize how much our words affect others until we find that some negative comment we’ve made in the past has blossomed into an ugly rumor that people now believe to be true. Don Miguel Ruiz writes, “Your word can create the most beautiful dream, or your word can destroy everything around you.”

I’ve been trying to speak with integrity for many years now. It is a challenge for me each day. Sometimes things come out of my mouth that I’m unconscious of. When they are repeated back to me, I’m surprised to learn I said them. Other times, an emotion is so strong that I feel compelled to say something in spite of my better judgment. In these cases, what I say is not very productive, and I find myself regretting the way in which I expressed myself. My intent to communicate consciously and with integrity is there, but that intent is sometimes not strong enough to catch my words. If I can be present in the moment about my feelings, I have a better opportunity to temper the words before they are expressed.

Try to speak consciously and with integrity this week. I’m going to take my cue from a bumper sticker I saw that read, “Try not to do anything unless it’s necessary, responsible and kind.” If you replace the word “do” with the word “say,” you’ll end up with impeccable conduct and impeccable speech.

Have a great week!

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

Good day, team,

The coach’s challenge this week is about making decisions. Have you ever observed that when we postpone making decisions sometimes, we’re actually making the indecision our decision?

A few years ago when I was on the board of a nonprofit here in town, I noticed that one of my fellow board members had a lot of trouble making decisions. Because we needed unanimous agreement to act, this person’s inability to make up her mind frustrated everyone on the board; often it led to someone getting up from the table in a huff and storming out. Interestingly enough, our “indecision maker” would then suggest that we look at more alternatives instead of choosing based on the information we already had! This preference for examining new options rather than making a decision is a way of avoiding choosing altogether.

What keeps us from making decisions? In most cases, it is our fear of being wrong. Edmund Burke wrote, “No passion so effectually robs the mind of all its powers of acting and reasoning as fear.”

To move from the attitude of scarcity that always accompanies fear toward the attitude of abundance and excitement that comes from envisioning new possibilities, we need to understand some core principles. These insights are especially important when a team of people needs to make joint decisions.

In “How Great Decisions Get Made,” Don Maruska offers some of these principles:

1. Each of us is valued and valuable. Everyone who has a stake in a decision can participate in a way that reflects his or her inherent value.
2. Each of us is free to change. We don’t need to score points with each other, defend past positions or otherwise prove our worthiness.
3. Life is abundant. We may not always get what we want, but we can get what we need.
4. Hopes, not fears and expectations, can guide us. Hopes are not bound by current realities, but can transcend them.
5. We don’t have to do all the work. Traditional views of the rugged, self-reliant individual feed our egos and our desire for control. But this myth doesn’t serve the greater good.
6. Cooperation, not competition, wins. Glorifying competition and conflict denies our shared humanity. Cooperation is our best avenue for growth and fulfillment.

Try not to be afraid to make decisions this week. Trust your ability to look at all the important factors and make up your mind from a sound basis of knowledge. Participate with others in the decision-making process. Multiply your prospects for success by sharing with others the hopes and dreams that influence your decision-making process. Make the decisions that will turn your vision into your reality.

Have a great week!

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

Good day, team,

This week I’m inspired by the following quote from Harry Overstreet: “The very essence of all power to influence lies in getting the other person to participate. The mind that can do that has a powerful leverage on his human world. What’s the best way to get others to participate? Participate yourself.”

I’ve been talking with some of my clients about what makes people participate with each other in the work place*. The consensus is that our willingness to engage and actively work with others encourages them to do the same. No manager or leader can afford to tell people what to do from a distance. It’s imperative that the people who work for you see you actively engaged in their business and their challenges.

Ford was the first automaker to use assembly lines to produce automobiles. You can imagine how hesitant the plant workers were to try something so revolutionary. Within the first few days of production, Henry Ford was out on the floor, showing his employees how the assembly line worked and how he was adapting to this new way of doing things. He wasn’t afraid to make mistakes, and he appeared to be truly enjoying the experience. He was an active role model.

We strongly influence others when we show our willingness to be open-minded, open-hearted, and willing to engage at any level. And besides motivating others, there are two more reasons for getting into the trenches with your team members: You find out what the work is really about and you learn what your customers are saying. Ultimately, we all are in the customer service business. We need to hear what our customers are saying, what they’re experiencing, what they need, and whether they’re satisfied to stay on top of our business.

Your challenge this week is to actively engage with people you work with at all levels. Take a cue from Henry Ford: find out exactly what people are doing and try it yourself. They will appreciate your engagement, and you might just learn something valuable about your customers.

Have a great week!

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

* Special thanks to Howard Eaton, Customer Service Manager at Wells Fargo Bank in Des Moines, for encouraging me to send this challenge out this week.

Good day, team,

Tomorrow is officially the beginning of summer and if you haven’t already scheduled some leisure time, it’s a good time to do so. In light of this, the coach’s challenge this week comes from the subject of fishing. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how fishing is a good metaphor for life*. Your challenge this week is to read the following observations and see how these fishy truths relate to your work, your life, and your leisure time.

� “Go where the fish are. Once when I was fishing, I kept getting my line caught in an overhead tree, which prompted my partner to remind me, ‘You’re not going to catch many fish in a tree.’ The same goes for business or any other enterprise – you’ve got to go where the fish are if you hope to be successful.”

� “You don’t have to like to eat fish to like to catch them. And vice versa, I suppose. Some of the best fishermen I’ve known couldn’t stand to eat fish. Which illustrates a truism: that the chase is often much more rewarding than the catch. ”

� “Fishing has entered our language in ways that don’t have anything to do with fish. We fish for compliments. We fish around for information. We bait an opponent in a debate. We lure someone into an argument. We toss out a line in a speech. We are told to fish or cut bait when we need to make a commitment. We bite, or fall for things hook, line, and sinker.”

� “Fishing probably does not teach another virtue very well – telling the truth. The fish get bigger and more abundant the more their stories are told. Possibly that’s because fisherman have to be so optimistic by nature that they begin believing what they wish to be true.”

� “There are scenic spots all over the world [in which] to experience fly fishing, but we have to make the effort and spend the money to get there. It is easier to just stay where we are, and fish the places that we know, rather than take the risk and invest the resources in new adventures. In life, as in fishing, sometimes we need to get our of our comfort zones and expand our horizons.”

� “If something is suspicious, dubious, or shady, why is it considered fishy? Maybe because it smells.”

And finally

� “If people fished more and complained less, it would be a better world.”

Have a great week!

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

* Special thanks to Glen Dromgoole and his book, “I’d Rather Be Fishing: Some of Life’s Lessons Can Be Learned With a Fishing Pole,” for his insights.

Good day, team,

The coach’s challenge this week is about engaging in your work and finding the energy with which to do it. Studies show that the average person puts only between 25 percent to 40 percent of available energy and ability into his or her work.

This percentage may be shocking, but time and time again, studies show that we could all improve our level of engagement on the job. There’s nothing more gratifying than working for or with someone who’s energized and always ready, willing and able to serve the customer. Each of us struggles with the same things: how to get all the work done, how to think of new and better ways to do things, how to improve our performance, etc. But when it comes to figuring out how to increase our energy on the job, we often fall short of solutions.

Here are some ways to increase your level of engagement and help your team do the same.
1) Get involved in the activities in front of you. Be present for what you’re doing in the moment.
2) Take ownership for your responsibilities and results.
3) Know where you have power and where you don’t. Stay involved where you can make the greatest difference and are most empowered.
4) Keep your network alive and well. Know who you’re affiliated with and continue to keep the energy flowing between you.
5) Understand what you’re most competent at. Leverage your strengths and don’t be afraid to face your weak spots.
6) Give yourself credit for your achievements. Find ways to reward yourself for a job well done.
7) Don’t be afraid to ask for recognition or to give it. Simply recognizing where we add value is often its own reward.
8) Make the connection between what you do and who you are. A job that has no meaning for you is the wrong job.

When managing teams, you can increase energy and engagement by giving your team the authority to make decisions and act upon them. Don’t forget to recognize all the different phases the team is going through, regardless of how smooth things are. Be alert to signs that the team needs additional coaching when times are tough. When things are going well, let everyone be involved in the rewards and recognition. Team members usually know better than anyone else what motivates them.

Try increasing your energy level this week by using some of these suggestions to re-engage in your work. In the words of Harry S. Truman, “I found that the men and women who got to the top were those who did the jobs they had in hand, with everything they had of energy and enthusiasm and hard work.”

Have a great week!

Kathleen

Good day, team,

The coach’s challenge for this week is to pick your battles wisely. In our determination to prove ourselves “right,” we often lose our ability to see the big picture, and in turn lose sight of our ultimate goal. That is, we may win the argument, but lose our way in the meantime. I remember my high school debate coach saying, “If you use all your energy to win one argument, you may run out of resources for the rest of the competition. It may also be the wrong argument to sacrifice to the competition, and in the end, you will have won the battle, but lost the war.”

Each day at work, we face many challenges and opportunities with our fellow team members. Sometimes we find ourselves arguing about different ways to do things, or we become irritated because we think someone is doing something wrong. It’s our natural instinct to try to correct mistakes. This often leads us to compete or lobby for what we think is right. But do we consider the ultimate price we pay just to be right? Are we distancing ourselves from our team members as we try to prove something to others?

Focus this week on where you’re currently engaged in battle with someone or something at work. Ask yourself these questions:

1. What am I really fighting for?
2. What am I trying to prove or win?
3. How does this altercation relate to the overall goals we have for our team?
4. If I win this battle, does it get me closer to achieving my ultimate aim?
5. How can I think about this differently, so that my actions are more proactive and less confrontational?
6. What can I do to neutralize this situation rather than escalate it?
7. Try considering other approaches that may be much more beneficial in the long run. Sometimes not engaging in something that we feel strongly about requires much more effort that allowing ourselves to fight for what we think is important. In the end, it’s the consistent stride that wins the race.

Have a great week!

Kathleen