Author: Kathleen Doyle-White

Inspiring Quotes From The Great Coach, Vince Lombardi

As we move into the time of year when professional and college football teams schedule their play-off games,  I’m sharing some of my favorite quotes from the famous Green Bay Packers coach Vince Lombardi. Take a look at some of his quotes and see which ones inspire you the most. First, here’s some history about […]

Make Time To Do What You Love

Good morning, team,

April is National Poetry Month, and the occasion reminds me how important it is to pursue interests other than work. When I was young, I wrote poetry. I’m not sure why; somehow poetry spoke to me very early on, and I started making up rhymes in my head and then writing them down. Once, I woke in the night with a poem that was so anxious to get written down that I wrote it on the bed sheet. My supportive mother cut the poem out of the sheet the next morning and remade my bed with a new one. When I came home from school that day, there was my poem, written with pencil on a piece of rumpled sheet. From then on, there was always paper and pen by my bedside.

My poetry muse continued to influence me until I was in high school. When I was a sophomore, I began to be very critical of my poetry. I worried what other people would think, and the satisfaction I felt after I’d written a poem was quickly being replaced by embarrassment. One day in English class, I wrote a poem about our beagle, Charley. We all had to read our poems out loud, and although mine was far superior to many, when a boy I had a crush on teased me later and told me how stupid my poem was, I didn’t write another for almost 25 years.

By the time I was in my early twenties, I was working in Washington, D.C., in a crazy, fast-growing business, and all my available time was taken up by my job. I worked incredibly hard during the week and then tried to recover on the weekends. Hobbies and extracurricular activities went by the wayside.

It wasn’t until I was approaching middle age that I began writing poetry again. I had forgotten how good it made me feel to use words to create pictures and to be able to express my most intimate thoughts in poetic form. I also realized that it had been years since I’d engaged myself in any activity that wasn’t work-related.

The experience I had had as a child when I wrote poetry began to re-emerge. It was so satisfying to sit and write for a few hours and then go back the next day and read what I’d written. The critical part of my brain had matured and was not so anxious to jump in and tell me everything that was wrong with the poem. Or perhaps those thoughts were there, but I just didn’t take them as seriously any more. I was finally able to do something for pure enjoyment that had nothing to do with my work or my family: It was just for me. And every time I wrote a line it energized me and made me feel good.

Your challenge this week is to identify your interests that are not work-related and cultivate them. In my husband’s case, he plays keyboards once a week with a drummer. They don’t do it to perform or to record, they just get together every Wednesday night and play because they love it. This pleasure keeps him balanced and healthy. When he plays, he’s not thinking about anything else, he’s just enjoying the music.

If you already have something in your life that you do for pure enjoyment, be sure you continue to make space for it. If you find that most of your time is taken up by obligations, carve out some time for yourself when you can re-energize, recreate, and renew by doing something you love. Maybe it’s quilting, (how many women do you know who have a room full of crafting materials that never get used?) or knitting or painting or gardening. Perhaps you enjoy carpentry or boating or dancing. A game of golf can often restore all the energy that an entire week of strategic planning meetings uses up. Find your special hobby or interest and don’t let a week go by without making time for it.

Remember the old saying, “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.” Find that thing you love to do and do more of it.

Have a great week!

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

© Copyright 2008 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights reserved.

How We Earn Trust

Good day, team,

This week’s coach’s challenge is about learning to trust. When I first pondered this idea, I thought it was about trusting other people. But upon reflection, I realized that it was first about trusting myself and then trusting others. That is, we build trust by behaving reliably and by expecting the best from others.

We earn other peoples’ trust by doing what we say we’ll do. We act with care and consideration. We are dependable. We are known for our integrity. No hidden agenda causes us to give mixed messages to others. Our actions reflect our intentions.

We reinforce our trust in others by releasing skeptical thoughts about them. If we start out suspecting someone or something and entertain the suspicion long enough, we convince ourselves that it is the truth. But skepticism is usually more wrong than right. Thoreau noted, “We are always paid for our suspicion by finding what we suspect.” I think the opposite is also true: If we expect to trust other people, we will find something in them to trust.

This week, observe what you do to be trustworthy and also how much you trust your fellow team members. What are you doing to foster feelings of trust in others? Do you find yourself deceiving others either by lying, withholding key information, or telling stories that are untrue about yourself and others? Are you fooling yourself by thinking that others don’t see your deception? If you do trust others, how do you communicate that trust?

Trust is key to the development of any strong friendship, partnership or working relationship. Mutual trust and esteem are part of the foundation of all successful ventures. Look for ways this week to be more trustworthy and to be more trusting of others. You will find that much more is possible when we trust each other.

See if you can confirm the words of Francois de la Rochefoucauld: “The trust that we put in ourselves makes us feel trust in others.”

Have a great week!

Kathleen

Staying True to What You Value Most

Good day team,
This week’s challenge is about remembering what you asked for and staying true to what’s most important.

Here’s a story that illustrates how easy it is to drift away from core values.

In my first meeting with a prospective client, I often ask these three questions:
1. What’s your vision for what you want to achieve?
2. What lessons have you learned from past experiences that prevented you from achieving a vision?
3. How do you think a coach can help you realize your vision?

The answers to these questions set the foundation of our relationship. They are typically very positive and full of optimism:
“I want to create a profitable company that provides good jobs for others and has a positive impact on the world.”
“I see a team of people who are creating new processes that make our jobs easier to do and the team is happier because of the improvements we’ve made.”
“I want to create a company that is highly innovative – where creativity and new ways of thinking are encouraged in everything we do.”
“I want my employees to feel empowered, come to work everyday because they love what they do, and feel passionate about our products and customers.”
“I want to lead my people but not micromanage them so they continue to feel like we’re in partnership and able to take ownership at the same time.”

We build plans based upon their answers and begin a program of coaching and training to create the kind of environment that makes their visions achievable. This works well until my client starts to veer away from the original ask.

Here’s an example.

Bill is the CEO of a start-up company. He left his job as the lead software engineer and started his own company to get out from under a boss that was too demanding and controlling. He dreamed of creating a company where he could hire a team of smart people who wanted to work collaboratively and loved to be challenged. He came up with a brilliant design for a new product, created a business plan for his start-up and sold the whole idea to some investors. Bingo – Bill had a small office, two partners from his previous company, and enough money in the bank to get his product launched.

The first six months Bill was in business he decided to hire me to help him navigate the tough waters of creating a new business. We worked to articulate a core set of values that would help Bill lead the team , stay true to what was important to them, and put their values into action. We did exercises that helped the team understand one other’s behaviors and strengths, and provided tools that could aid them in their collaborative efforts. As his brand began to develop, we made sure that his vision and values were expressed in all corporate communications – both internal and external. It was a strong start – the product was getting a great response from the public, the team was happy and highly committed, and Bill was living his dream. Year one passed with flying colors – happy team members – happy investors – happy Bill.

Into the second year, given the pressures of running a new business, things began to change. People worked harder and harder and stress levels rose. Under stress, team members spent more time in their back-up behaviors, attacking others and defending themselves rather than collaborating. In a frantic effort to keep up, Bill began to take more control of the day-to-day operations afraid that if he didn’t, the whole thing would crash and burn. He unleashed the autocrat within. He placed more demands on those around him, trusted his teammates less and began to micromanage the entire operation. As his coach, I tried to point out that things were out of control. His behavior ran counter to his expressed values. “I’d like to stay true to my vision and values, said Bill. But honestly, I don’t have time to think about those things right now. I’m the CEO of a start-up and this business is blowing way past any of our original expectations – it’s all I can do to just keep up.”

So, how could I help Bill? How could I help get him back on track?

I asked Bill for a time out. This wasn’t easy for him to do, since he was moving at break-neck speed to keep up with his daily challenges. He was now so involved in other people’s jobs, that he had no time stop and reflect. He was CEO, chief product office, and the head of sales, etc. I needed Bill to step back and re-examine what he intended for his company. Was his behavior reflective of his company’s values? And, most importantly, did Bill see what was being sacrificed in his attempts to have a successful company?

Bill needed to make a choice. He couldn’t go north and south at the same time. He couldn’t take more and more control and become more dominant if he wanted his people to feel empowered. He wouldn’t be able to have a highly successful team if the customers and investors saw Bill as a success but not the team. As one of his original partners said to me, “I’m not Bill’s partner anymore – I’m an order taker.”

Fortunately, Bill was able to stop long enough to hear me and his original partners early one Saturday morning over breakfast. Underneath it all, he knew that he was spinning out of control. He had the best of intentions but he wasn’t the kind of owner, CEO and business partner he had originally intended to be. With the help of his original two partners, he was able to ease up on the reins. He stopped dictating, asked more questions and fostered more dialogue. Even more impressively, he let the investors know that he was not willing to sacrifice the core values of his business in order to meet their short term expectations. He re-committed to the original core values to create a more sustainable environment for the team in the long run. As he said to me, “I was killing the spirit in the place and until I stopped, I was not even aware of it.”

This week, ask yourself if you are becoming more controlling as the demands of your business or your department increase. Are you staying true to your core values and vision? How have your behaviors changed? Do you have a way of getting honest feedback from others? Are you sacrificing the long term health of your company or team for short term gains? Are you dictating or inspiring and empowering others?

“If you want to build a ship, don’t drum up people to collect wood and don’t assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea.” Antoine De Sainte-Exupery

Have a good week,

Kathleen

© Copyright 2014 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search Inc., all rights reserved.

All the News That Fits – We Print

Good day, team.

This week’s challenge comes from a client of mine, Michael Kane. Michael is the chief of staff for Move Inc. and the general manager of one of its subsidiaries, TigerLead. He has a gift for eloquently expressing himself, both verbally and in writing. Many thanks to Michael for sharing this week’s challenge, which he titled, “All the News That Fits — We Print.” You will find the challenge in the question he poses at the end.

“Back in the late 90s, I did consulting for Dow Jones and Company, which, in additional to calculating some influential stock market averages, publishes a mildly well-read newspaper called The Wall Street Journal. The project I was bidding on was a $17 million dollar effort to revamp the software that paginates its newspapers.

“It’s a complex problem with multiple variables, and unless you know the newspaper business, you might approach it exactly backward. I was told that each day, there are different sections and the newspaper is allowed to be a certain number of pages, and the ads needed to be arranged on the page, and the news articles broken into the familiar columns. The software needed to tally the total ad space and total ad revenue, and then, they told me, it needed to provide a report to the editorial group with the size of the ‘news hole.’

“Huh? That term sounded like an insult to me: ‘My roommate hogs the TV all day watching CNN. He’s such a newshole!’

“That’s when I learned that I was approaching newspaper publishing completely backward. In any edition, after all the ads are placed on pages, the amount of space left over is called the ‘news hole.’ Everything that’s not an ad must fit in that space — all the tables, op-ed pieces and articles. If they don’t fit, they need to be reduced. You never, ever, trim the ads.

“In a newspaper — a publication whose purpose you would think is to provide the news — the purpose is actually to deliver advertising and then use whatever space is left for its alleged purpose.

“What does this have to do with our company? When was the last time we looked critically at our calendars? Many of us do the same thing with our calendars that Dow Jones does with news. We use the tool designed to focus our most scarce resource — our time — and we first fill it with things that provide the least value: status meetings and meeting series that were set up ages ago. In fact, each week, there’s probably a meaningful percentage of our time already committed, before we even show up on Monday morning. Call it ‘recurring schedule overhang.’ Then, after that, we add in the purposeful activities.

“It’s the ‘purpose hole.’

“Like my understanding of newspaper publishing, are we approaching our calendars exactly backward?”

Have a good week!

Kathleen

© Copyright 2014 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search Inc., all rights reserved.

Horse Sense #4 – Forgiveness

Good day, team.

This week’s challenge is about forgiveness. I’ve learned a lot over the past year about forgiveness from an unlikely friend: the beautiful horse I’ve been spending time with.

A few months ago, I leased Ileeah, a lovely Arabian horse trained in the horsemanship method I was learning. My lessons were frustrating at first, but I began to see how responsive this horse is and just how much I could learn from her because of her extensive training and experience. What I found most humbling was her ability to forgive me when I did something wrong. One day I was taking her halter off and accidentally poked her in the eye. She immediately jumped away from me. But in the next moment, as I was apologizing profusely, she walked right back over to me as if nothing had happened.

Along the way, I have had to forgive myself over and over again―when I gave her conflicting messages about where and when I wanted her to go; when I got angry with her and nagged at her rather than giving her a quick, direct instruction to stop what she was doing; and when I didn’t have the ability to let go of my negativity toward her when she defied me.

Horses have an amazing ability to forgive. They don’t seem to hold onto resentment or negative emotions the way humans do, and it allows them to deal with whatever is happening in the moment rather than reacting to something that happened the moment before. They always seem willing to try again with patience and persistence. I think these qualities have helped horses survive for thousands of years. Even though they are prey to other animals and have had to work for humans, they have persevered and their presence with each moment has allowed them to react appropriately when they sense danger.

In playing with horses (and I use the word “play” because it really isn’t work), I have learned more about how to forgive myself. I have made many mistakes with Treasure, Ileeah and Winslow―the three horses I’ve played with over the past year―and I suspect that I will continue to make mistakes with horses as I continue. But every time they forgive me, I have an opportunity to forgive myself. Buck Brannaman, the famous horse trainer and a leading practitioner in the area of natural horsemanship wrote, “Horses are incredibly forgiving. They fill in places we’re not capable of filling in ourselves.”

This week, find the things you’re not forgiving yourself for and try to release them. See what it feels like to make a mistake and then forgive yourself for it. Try cutting yourself some slack when you’ve done something goofy and don’t carry your inner angst about it into the next moment or the next day. Laugh at yourself for your foibles, and see how unimportant they are in the face of all the good things you bring to others.

The famous phrase “To err is human, to forgive divine” so aptly describes the divinity we see in those beings who are able to forgive―both human and animal. This week try forgiving yourself and moving into the next moment without the burdens of guilt or shame weighing you down.

Have a good week!

Kathleen

© Copyright 2014 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search Inc., all rights reserved.

Within and Without – Leadership Integrity

  Have you ever considered the tension that leaders experience when making decisions between following their inner compass and bowing to outside pressures? It is reasonable to question how successful a business leader can be who always follows his inner compass. How many CEOs would lose their jobs if they ignored the advice and wishes […]

Managing Any Generation

Good day team,

Your challenge this week is it identify common mistakes you might be making in managing Gen Y’s, that is, people who are currently in their 20’s. Gen Y’s are also known as Millennials.

I recently read an article entitled, “The Top 3 Most Important Mistakes Management Makes Managing Millennials” by Crystal Kadakia, blogger of the Gen Y Guru @ Career Indulgence LLC: Speaking, Training, Consulting on Everything Gen Y – No Whining, Just Ideas That Work.

I found Kadakia’s ideas thought-provoking. Frankly, I’d not given much thought to how to successfully manage people in their 20’s. But, many of the managers I coach manage people in this age group and often run into difficulties. Consequently, I thought it wise to learn more about managing Gen-Y’ers.

Here are some of her ideas and advice.

“Mistake #1: Humor That Alienates, Specifically By Relying on Assumptions
It’s natural to try to find common ground when establishing a manager-direct report relationship. Many experienced managers struggle to find common ground with the new workforce and make a number of mistakes. This struggle can exhibit outwardly in multiple ways including false assumptions, belittling humor, and misguided expectations.

“For example, many assume that Gen Y’s had “helicopter parents” and had childhood lives filled with endless parent-scheduled activities, school followed by ballet, soccer, etc. This results in presumption of lack of work capability, accountability, and responsible behavior. Viewing a new employee in this light automatically sets them up for failure, instead of success. In many cases, the opposite Gen Y scenario is true as many in this generation grew up in divorced homes, resulting in very independent childhoods. Comments of this nature start with statements like, “This generation has it so easy…” or “You’re supposed to want constant feedback right?” It’s better instead to always ask questions instead of assume that an employee relationship should be a certain way. Alternatively, you can share how you like to work and ask the employee if that works for them.

“Some other examples are statements like “Maybe you can tell me what I should do about my son/daughter’s constant selfie addiction — aren’t you a part of the Me Generation?” or “You’re a Gen Y, can you teach me how to use my iPhone?” Treating your Gen Y employees like your IT services connection is a definite no-no. Not all Gen Yer’s are adept with technology and no one likes to be put on the spot for assumed skills.

“The best practice is to never assume. Instead of basing off of assumptions, starting instead with a story from your time and then asking if the Gen Y can relate is a much better way to forge a bond you can both work from. For example, when you were transitioning from college, xyz was a struggle for you.

“Mistake #2: Lack of Transparency Regarding Career Progression
If pay progression or promotion is slow at your organization, just admit it. It is far better to admit it than to say nothing. Many companies have a culture that dissuades talking about career progression. But as new employees starting a new chapter in their lives, one they have never embarked on before, this is one of the biggest questions. What does the future look like? What is the big picture I am working towards?

“Also, recognize that young employees may not realize what other forms of progression and growth look like. Generally, the first thought for any new employee is: rewards = increased pay, better title. This is a moment to educate and expand your employee’s perspective — growth can be in many dimensions. Share what other dimensions your company offers and don’t exclude diverse project work as a perk. As their manager, you are in a position to understand what kind of project the new hire would really enjoy getting into and then delivering elements of that in their current work. Transparency is key.

“Mistake #3: Lack of Opportunities to Meaningfully Contribute
The biggest complaint I hear from many Gen Y’s is the amount of time it takes before they are permitted to contribute to results. Doing the grunge work doesn’t capture the maximum productivity your Gen Y can contribute and instead, demotivates and disengages the employee. If they are not allowed to contribute quickly, it generates reasons for leaving the company. Although it may surprise you, most Millennials don’t want to be paid for doing nothing — and we are quick to trust our own judgement of what is worthwhile work.

“It is important to strike the right balance between introducing them to the work and allowing them to contribute significantly to a project or even lead a project on their own. It’s important to explain which work will help to build a foundation to do more challenging work later vs. which work items are intended to allow them to already start displaying leadership and critical thinking skills. By establishing the expectations regarding the work this way, the new employee has no false understanding of work — yes, some of it is going to be tedious, but it is going to build to something later or may always be a tedious part of the job. It’s important to be transparent about the work.

“A good rule of thumb is as long as 10 percent of the work plan at a minimum involves true leadership and critical thinking from the new employee, the remainder of the work plan can be more learning alongside a more experienced employee or working as a part of a team with no clear responsibility. But in at least 10 percent of the work plan, the new employee should be personally accountable and contributing clearly to a significant group or department result.

“These are just a few of the behaviors that can lead to quick turnover with Millennials, but they are big mistakes. New employees can either work with you, against you, or contribute little to no work. How you choose to manage these employees makes a critical difference in the outcome.

“What mistakes have you seen managers make when managing Millennials?”

In summary, Ms. Kadakia is saying three things 1) don’t make assumptions, 2) be transparent and honest, 3) give the employee challenging work and hold him/her accountable for the results. Seems like good advice for managing any employee – boomer, Gen X or Gen Y.

Have a good week.

Kathleen

© Copyright 2014 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search Inc., all rights reserved.