3/22/10

Good day, team,

Spring has officially arrived and along with it spring break—that week each year when schools and even some companies take time off to relax. It’s a wonderful time of year to just enjoy the warm, breezy weather and everything that’s beginning to bloom.

Even if you don’t have any official time off, spring can be a great time of year to give yourself a little personal break. Allow yourself to just be, and let all of your thoughts and emotions fall away so you can experience a true moment of peace.

This week’s challenge is not a challenge but a suggestion for you to allow yourself this peace. Wherever you are, take a moment to close your eyes, take a deep breath and just be with yourself for a few moments. When a thought comes up that tries to distract you, don’t grab hold of it—let it go. If an emotion arises, allow it to rise up and pass away. Nothing is so important that we have to think about it all the time or dwell on our emotional responses to it. Thoughts and feelings will always come, but it’s only when we put all of our energy and focus into them that they take on more life.

We spend most of our time rushing from one thing to the next, taking care of this and that, working to figure out problems and achieve our goals—doing, doing, doing. We are all so very busy in our external world. Internally, many of us are plagued by thoughts of inadequacy, jealousy, envy, anger, fear and depression. As we rush around, our inner heart of hearts is hoping we can take a few moments to just come home and be still. It’s nurturing this stillness that ultimately will help us find our radiance.

Return to your breath. Feel your feet on the floor or your seat sitting in your chair. Relax and let go of all your thoughts and feelings—no troubles, no worries, just a wide, deep, quiet spaciousness that exists.

This week, grant yourself this gift for however long you are able—a minute or an hour, it doesn’t matter. You may find you enjoy it so much that you give yourself a few moments of peace and silence each day.

Have a good week!

Kathleen
Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

© Copyright 2010 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights
reserved.

3/15/10

Good day, team,

This past week, I’ve been thinking about craving and aversion. By craving, I mean that feeling of great longing, wanting or desire. By aversion, I’m talking about a strong feeling of dislike, opposition, repugnance or antipathy. Many of us have these opposite experiences almost daily, and the effect they have on us is significant.

My father used to caution my sister and I by saying, “Everything in moderation.” Frankly, for many years that sounded far too conservative for me, and although I may have heard my father’s words in my head, I didn’t hesitate to act wild and crazy. Throwing caution to the wind was fun—who cared what the repercussions would be? Doing something in excess was great while it lasted, but I almost always paid for my lack of caution later. I recall once receiving a bill from I. Magnin (a high-end department store in San Francisco) for around $4,000. I certainly didn’t make the kind of money that could support that level of spending, but I had a terrific time in the store satisfying all my cravings, buying whatever I wanted. My subsequent aversion to the bill was predictable and as extreme as the excessive spending was. Giving in to my cravings was pretty easy when I was in my twenties—I had the energy to recover from my adventures. But as I got older, the aversion to the hangover, the unpaid bills or the damage I’d inflicted on others became harder to experience. My father’s advice actually started to make more sense. I realized that doing things in moderation did make life a little easier to manage.

Even when practicing moderation, we still experience these swings of craving and aversion. Ever try dieting? It’s a great example of flip-flopping between craving what you’re not supposed to eat and then having a major aversion to yourself when you finally devour that forbidden food. How about doing a little home improvement? Ever notice how the more you improve, the more you need to improve? You change the carpet in the living room and suddenly the furniture looks old and drab. You paint the bathroom and the need for new fixtures screams out to you. We can easily become caught up in the duality of the craving and aversion dance. Giving in to either extreme can be painful.

Maybe you see that no matter how much you buy, it’s never enough. No matter which car you drive, relationship you’re in or grade you achieve in school, it’s just not quite good enough. Over time, this dissatisfaction with people and things creates an aversion to our own life, and we find ourselves in a constant state of frustration and unhappiness.   There is no peace of mind where there is constant dissatisfaction and an inability to accept what is.

Your challenge this week is to see where this phenomena plays out in your life, then try exercising moderation. Do you see it come up in your work? Are you consistently craving better results from people, better quality products, more money or more acknowledgment from others? Are you never satisfied? Has your craving for these things turned into a permanent aversion to anything that is less than the perfection you crave?

Give yourself a break this week and try not to let craving and aversion rule your thoughts. These feelings will come up, I guarantee it, but you don’t have to give in to them or allow them to dictate your actions. You may find your week is more peaceful and restful if you accept what is and allow yourself to be satisfied.

Have a good week!

Kathleen
Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

© Copyright 2010 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights
reserved.

3/8/10

Good day team,

This week’s challenge is about overcoming obstacles.

Out for my daily walk this week, I marveled at how plants manage to overcome so many obstacles as they grow and blossom each year. Take daffodils, for example—the courageous little flowers, brave enough to start popping up before spring has even sprung. They endure rain, hail, sometimes a dusting of snow, frost, fog and myriad other difficulties, from animals trampling them to people picking them. Nevertheless, the daffodil overcomes these obstacles and continues to shine its happy yellow trumpet to passersby.

I have been watching my husband do the same at our property out in the Columbia River Gorge while digging a large trench for laying some pipe. Toward the end of the trench, he encountered a huge boulder embedded in the path he needed to follow. It was far too heavy to dig out, so he decided to break it down into smaller, more manageable pieces. The boulder was basalt—a very hard stone, which doesn’t break easily and rarely breaks where you want it to. He used a sledgehammer and chisel to find seams and weak spots that he could turn into larger cracks. After hours of work, he broke off four large but liftable pieces. However, the remaining rock was still too big to move, so he tried to pull it out with his truck. When his tires just spun, he attached a winch to a large oak tree and finally—triumphantly—pulled the heavy stone out inch by inch.

Both the daffodils and my husband’s efforts got me to thinking about how we react when we encounter obstacles in our daily lives. Herein lies this week’s challenge. What kinds of obstacles are you facing? How do you overcome them? What techniques can you use to get past the things that seem to always get in your way, trip you up when you are moving along, and stubbornly remain immovable no matter what you seem to do?

Trying to unravel a large obstacle all at once can be overwhelming. When I’m confronted with a problem, I try to break it down into smaller pieces. By dealing with them one at a time, I have a greater chance of eventually solving the larger issue.

This week, identify an obstacle you’re dealing with and see if you can reduce it to manageable chunks. Focus on the smaller pieces one at a time. It might be helpful to talk through your problem with a co-worker or family member. We often become so identified with an obstacle that it blinds us from seeing the solutions for getting past it. One of my friends suggested that I try to see what’s on the other side of the obstacle. Visualizing what things might look like if the obstacle was gone can help to find the solution for getting around it, past it or, in some cases, underneath it.

As in my husband’s case, sometimes it takes a level of determination and true grit to get the obstacle out of the way. Whatever the obstacle is, stay the course and try not to let it defeat you. You just might find that all at once, it has disappeared and the way is open to you again.

Have a good week!

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

© Copyright 2010 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights
reserved.

You may view this post online at
http://www.kathleendw.local/2010/02/28/coachs-challenge-for-3110/

Best regards,
Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

You received this e-mail because you asked to be notified when new updates are
posted.

To manage your subscription or unsubscribe, please visit
http://www.kathleendw.local/challenge.

3/1/10

Good day, team,

Here’s a challenge I wrote awhile ago that I am republishing in honor of the Chinese New Year.

My inspiration comes from the I-Ching, or Book of Changes, which is a Chinese text of philosophy and divination written more than 5,000 years ago. It is organized in hexagrams, or patterns of six broken and unbroken lines. Here is hexagram 49-KO:

“No revolution in outer things is possible without prior revolution in one’s inner way of being. Whatever change you aspire to in your affairs must be preceded by a change in heart, an active deepening and strengthening of your resolve to meet every event with equanimity, detachment and innocent goodwill. When this spiritual poise is achieved within, magnificent things are possible without.”

I have seen the truth of this statement in myself and others. We often make the mistake of thinking that if we could just change our external circumstances, everything would be so much better. If we just had a different job or boss, if we could just live where there’s more opportunity, have a different partner, or more affordable housing, life would be so much more to our liking and we would do a better job of it.

However, real change does not occur from the outside in, but rather, from the inside out. Connecting with and sustaining what is most true within us, listening to our conscience, and having integrity in what we do and how we do it, allows us to find true peace and happiness.

When I relocated to Portland in 1998, I had high hopes of setting up my new life to be happier. But before long, I realized I had brought all of my baggage from California with me, both external and internal. Imagine my chagrin when I discovered that all the internal baggage I had hoped to leave behind was still with me!

For example, I had this notion that the only person I really knew in Portland didn’t want to be friends with me. This was based on some old events from when we were both living in California. I still had some embarrassment about what had happened and convinced myself that because of it, I couldn’t contact her when I moved to town. I didn’t allow myself to even consider that she might want to strike up our friendship again. Much to my surprise, when I ran into her at a store downtown, she was very open and friendly and happy to hear that I had relocated. We began to see each other and eventually talked about past events. She had moved beyond it and had forgiven herself and me. I, on the other hand, had hauled that old baggage up to Oregon with me and talked myself out of a perfectly good friendship. If I wanted to move past it, I had to change my heart and my attitude so that I could let go of the old emotional baggage and be open to a new
relationship with her.

Your challenge this week is to consider what revolution needs to occur in your inner way of being. Are you holding on to some inner baggage that no longer serves you? Perhaps you’re still carrying around anger or resentment about a colleague, even though the situation that caused it is no longer relevant. If you find yourself reacting in the same way to a familiar situation and want to react differently, why not resolve to change how you respond in the future and act upon that vow?

“Joy is not in things, it is in us,” wrote Richard Wagner, the 19th-century German composer and essayist. When we realize that external changes don’t make us happy and instead learn to adjust our internal state, we begin to know the secret of our true nature, which is sufficient unto itself.

Have a great week!

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

© Copyright 2010 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights reserved.

2/22/10 “Innovation”

Good day team,

This week’s challenge comes from an editorial I read recently in the New York Times by Dick Brass, “Microsoft’s Creative Destruction.” The piece focuses on how the company’s corporate culture stifles creativity, innovation and, ultimately, the future of the organization. Because this article was in the editorial section, it is one man’s opinion. Brass used to work for Microsoft as a vice president overseeing a team that designed and introduced some fairly innovative products. Unfortunately, many of his team’s best ideas got shot down by other groups at the company. I’m sure that has influenced his attitude. However, I have seen the phenomenon he describes many times in companies over the years, and I think there’s much here that’s worth sharing.

The piece raises several questions. Does your corporate culture actually prevent true innovation? Is your desire to maintain the status quo preventing you from fostering an atmosphere of experimentation? Is the fear of failing so prevalent in your organization that risky new ideas are immediately squashed?

In the editorial, Brass writes that when he was at Microsoft new ideas were brought to the forefront, new product designs presented and innovative discussions took place. Time after time, he says, everything would get shot down at a senior level within the organization. Ultimately, the truly innovative employees would become frustrated and leave the company rather than try to change the culture to one that embraces innovation. An atmosphere of one-upmanship and an inability to embrace change, writes Brass, stifles new ideas that might move the company forward.

I see this frequently when I meet with clients who are frustrated after coming up with new ideas only to have them resisted and turned down. Responses such as, “Well, we’re in cost-cutting mode and can’t afford to experiment right now,” or “That doesn’t fit into our existing product line,” or “Oh, there goes so and so again—always coming up with crazy ideas.” Sooner or later, those innovative people give up. And in some cases, getting things done every day has become so difficult because of bureaucracy, complex processes and the political atmosphere that people don’t have the energy to come up with anything new. As one client confessed to me recently, “In order to do my job here, I’m prevented from doing my real job.”

This week’s challenge asks the question, Where is your next big idea going to come from? And, who are the innovators in your organization that will make that next big idea happen? Are you questioning the status quo? How are your powers of observation about your customers, suppliers and competition helping you think of new ways to do things? It isn’t enough just to know who’s buying your product. You need to find out how your customers use your product and if it connects to your other products. Are you willing to experiment with new experiences and explore alternatives? Who’s in your network and who’s influencing you? Are they people who challenge you to see things differently?

Peter Drucker, management consultant and self-described “social ecologist,” wrote, “The important and difficult job is never to find the right answers, it is to find the right questions.” Most innovators have started their own ventures because of the questions they asked. For example, Michael Dell, who started Dell Computer, wanted to know why a computer cost five times as much as the sum of its parts.

Innovators regularly challenge the status quo. In fact, they get a kick out of taking risks to challenge the way people have always done things. What would happen if you spent 15 minutes each day writing down questions that challenge the status quo of your company?

How about engaging your network? What if you met with five people every quarter who like to share new ideas and participate in creative thinking? How much would that influence the way you look at your current business, department, team and tasks at hand?

Your challenge is to do something more innovative this week. Even if it’s simply changing the way you approach the subject of innovation! Try thinking creatively about the issues at hand and seek out new frames of reference to refresh yourself with ideas. Try fostering a culture of experimentation—one that allows for failures and harvests the learning. Believe me, the future of your business depends on your ability to transform ideas into powerful impact.

Have a good week!

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

© Copyright 2010 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights
reserved.

You may view this post online at
http://www.kathleendw.local/2010/02/13/coachs-challenge-for-21510-sales/

Best regards,
Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

You received this e-mail because you asked to be notified when new updates are
posted.

To manage your subscription or unsubscribe, please visit
http://www.kathleendw.local/challenge.

2/15/10 “Sales”

Good day, team,

This week’s challenge comes from my good friend Jan Foster.  She’s the best salesperson I’ve ever known, and so when she sends me anything, I pay attention!

The following is from the article “Building Business” by Leo MacLeod, published in the Jan. 25, 2010, Daily Journal of Commerce.

“During an interview after the University of Oregon beat Oregon State in the Civil War, running back LaMichael James attributed the Ducks’ successful season to “watering the bamboo.” Reporters were stymied by the reference, but in the next room coach Chip Kelly was making it clear: “If you water bamboo in the first year, nothing happens. If you water it in the second year, nothing happens. If you water it in the third year, nothing happens. If you water it in the fourth year, it grows 90 feet in six weeks. You have to keep driving, keep paying, and it will pay off in the long run. And that’s what those guys understand.”

Earlier in the season, Kelly had read “Water the Bamboo,” a book by Greg Bell, a Portland author, speaker and corporate trainer (www.waterthebamboo.com). The Ducks fully embraced Bell’s philosophy, which is a metaphor for patience, persistence and hard work.

What does this metaphor have to do with business development for the built industry? Everything: “The quality of your bamboo will be determined by the quality of your relationships.” Most of the time, consultants and contractors wear themselves out answering requests for proposals. This is still a people business, and people buy from people they like and trust. If you want to grow, nurture your relationships. Get out of the office and reconnect with people. Friends, like plants, require constant attention. Don’t believe that once you’ve grown your network, it will thrive on its own.

Here’s a simple test: Write down the five best champions of your business. When was the last time you thanked them? When was the last time you even called? Effective marketing is not just pumping out proposals. Take care of your vital relationships—they are the roots of your business.

As with giant timber bamboo, it’s common to put time into developing new relationships without any signs of progress or interest. Push your agenda too quickly and you cut off the roots. Be patient and water, and time does the work.

A sales manager of a $200 million design firm religiously called on prospects every month, regardless of their interest. One prospective customer told him, “You know, I need to see you a certain number of times before I’ll do business with you.” The sales manager asked, “How many times is that?” “Maybe you’ll find out,” the potential client answered.

That’s a great story about what it takes to earn trust. Most of us are suspicious of marketing in any form, especially when it’s sporadic and unfocused. Think about what it says about your character, persistence and trustworthiness if you faithfully call on a prospect every month for a year, or even two years? What if you coupled that with a keen interest in that prospect’s business, taking the time to research the situation? After awhile you look less like a self-serving salesperson and more like a potential long-term partner.

In the built industry, there’s a tremendous amount of risk riding on projects, especially these days. There’s a tendency to give up too quickly on the long-term investment needed to build trustworthy relationships.

Author Ford Harding of Creating Rainmakers studied more than 100 rainmakers and found that the only thing they had in common was discipline to stay in contact with their leads. What if the bamboo farmer had simply walked away one day short of seeing all his efforts pay off? Ask yourself if you have waited long enough for the right relationships to grow strong roots. Or did you pull the plug too soon because you didn’t see immediate payback?

“Practice makes permanent.”

The more you work on sales and building your network, the more successful you will become, guaranteed. There’s no seminar or book that will give you the answers. It’s not about being a super salesperson. It’s also not about simply going through the motions of meeting with people.

Bell talks about the importance of “deliberate practice.” He studied the NFL’s Adam Vinatieri, the first kicker to play in five Super Bowls and win four. He practices so seriously that he videotapes every single kick. He pipes in the loudest crowd noise you would find in any stadium. He puts himself in such severe practice conditions that he’s ready for any game kick he faces. That’s dedication to a program.

Do you want to be a better listener? Practice effective listening all the time. Do you want to be a more persuasive presenter at competitive interviews? Don’t wait until the day before to practice. Commit to repeatedly rehearsing what you will say and how you will say it. Bill Gates, Mozart and Michael Jordan all “watered their bamboo.” If you want to be a better marketer, there are no shortcuts to success. Put in the time, starting today.

“Don’t water alone.”

Let’s be honest: the main reason that people don’t put the time into sales or marketing is because they would rather have a root canal. There are a handful of people who actually relish it, but most professionals harbor some resentment that the work won’t come in the door if they simply deliver solid construction documents or a completed punch list. They also know that business development is necessary for success, if not survival.

The good news is that you have plenty of company with like-minded people. Don’t make networking and sales calls a solitary task if you don’t savor it: Bring along a colleague or join a group. Find a way to make it more engaging and rewarding. Bell has created “bamboo circles” of people who realize that they can’t successfully overcome natural resistance to the hard work required without the support and encouragement of others.

So why didn’t the “water the bamboo” philosophy secure a Rose Bowl victory for the Ducks? Bell is quick to point out that this is only Kelly’s first year as head coach and only third year with the Ducks. It’s the fourth year when the bamboo really takes off. If you want results, you have to put in the work, whether it’s on the field or in the office.”

This week, challenge yourself to contact directly five people whom you’ve done business with in the past or had on your list of folks to contact for the first time. Don’t be afraid to make that cold call or remind a former client of your current product or service. If you manage sales people, ask them make the contacts this week.  “Your business will grow only as a result of the care, feeding and attention you give it, just like Coach Kelly’s bamboo!

Have a good week!

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

© Copyright 2010 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights reserved.

2/8/10 “Hunger”

Good day, team,

This week’s challenge is about hunger, as in hungering for something you don’t have. We all understand the typical use of this word as it relates to food. I want to address the spiritual or emotional hunger that can create so much longing within us we will change our entire lives to satiate it. So what is it? Good question. It’s hard to describe what is not tangible, is invisible, seems to come out of nowhere at any time it chooses and is almost impossible to understand with the logical mind.

It can be a longing to belong, a deep desire to be loved, a strong sense that what you’re doing in life doesn’t align with your inner values, an itch you can’t scratch, a purpose unfulfilled, a strong conviction that you must do something about this thing you can’t even describe. I could go on, but many of us know exactly what I’m talking about. And we know the experience of this intuition or conscience—for lack of better words to describe what’s actually happening–how it can awaken us in the middle of the night with a pain in our hearts so devastating we can barely breathe.

Last week, I went to see “Avatar,” and the film went right to the phenomenon I am describing: A man is involved in a project that will result in the extermination of the peaceful beings he ends up living with on another planet. In the course of the movie, he finds his true values and becomes more and more hungry to align his actions with his deepest feelings and beliefs.

I even experienced some of the hunger myself when I walked out of the theater. For more than two hours I was immersed  in lush landscapes full of neon colored lights, beautiful background music, and tall, slim, bluish-green people who had a special connection to and appreciation of all sentient beings. I was hit by a deep hunger as I re-entered four city blocks of parking lot next to a shopping mall under grey skies. Who would prefer to live here, I thought. How do I get to that paradise? I was hungry to return to fairyland.

The next morning I read that huge numbers of people around the world have seen this film, many of them more than once. Are they just attracted to the special effects? The storyline is not extraordinary, and the acting is pretty average. What it is about this film that appeals to so many people so deeply? What are they hungering for?

The article went on to say that many of the people who have gone to see the film are experiencing a sort of after-“Avatar” depression. They want what that colorful, beautiful, peaceful place full of beings who make profound heart-felt connections with each other have, and they can’t seem to find it here. That world full of love and light must be so central to our true nature that when it’s represented in a work of art, we gravitate to it.

This week, see what you’re truly hungry for and try doing something about it. We can create a more “Avatar”-like world by expanding our own hearts and having the courage to embrace what we desire. Years ago, I volunteered for the SMART reading program. It fed me in a way that nothing else has since. I miss the emotional food that I received from the loving children I read to each week. Thirteen years ago I changed career paths. I took that leap of faith to be able to do something for a living that was in better alignment with my inner values. Soon after I moved to Portland, I determined to meet people and made myself go to a particular coffee shop in Portland where I would start chatting with someone who looked like they also wanted to make new friends.  Sometimes people were annoyed but other times, people welcomed my reaching out to them. With this little bit of courage, I was rewarded with new friends and a richer emotional life. I couldn’t let fear prevent me from expanding my life.

One of my clients pulled himself out of the depths of depression, (both the one he experienced emotionally and the one he left on the seat of his recliner that he escaped to daily). He identified his hunger and changed his life to find that inner joy he had lost touch with. After 15 years of going to the same job, sitting in the same cubicle, doing the same programming job, he found what rekindled his joy and now takes people fishing six months out of the year and does programming the other six months. He had the courage to face that gnawing in the pit of his stomach and created a better way to live his life that offered him the peace and tranquility of nature and an opportunity to share it with others. Is he happier? Without question. I think he saved his life.

As he said to me recently, “I’m not sure I even know who that guy was who hid in the recliner in front of the t.v. every night. My life has changed so completely and I’m so much more satisfied, it seems like someone from another life.”

Have a good week!

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

© Copyright 2010 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights reserved.

2/1/10

Good day, team,

This week’s challenge comes from an excellent article–“The Responsible Manager”–which appeared in the January-February 2010 issue of the Harvard Business Review. The author, C. K. Prahalad, is a distinguished professor at the University of Michigan Ross School of Business, and he ends all of his MBA courses with the following 11 suggestions about ways managers can be more responsible.

1) Leadership is about change, hope and the future. Understand the importance of non-conformity. Don’t be afraid to venture into uncharted territory, and be able to handle solitude and ambiguity.

2) Display a commitment to learning and developing yourself.

3) Cultivate the ability to put your career in perspective. Over your career you will experience success and failure. Humility in success and courage in failure are the hallmarks of a good leader.

4) Invest in the development of other people.

5) Learn to relate to those less fortunate than you. Good leaders are inclusive.

6) Be concerned about due process. People seek fairness, not favors.

7) Be loyal to organization, profession, community, society, and, above all, family.

8) Assume responsibility for outcomes as well as for the processes and people you work with.

9) Remember that you are a part of a privileged few. Balance achievement with compassion and learning with understanding.

10) Expect to be judged by what you do and how well you do it. Balance your actions with empathy and caring for others.

11) Be conscious of the part you play. Leadership is about self-awareness, recognizing your failings, and developing mastery with modesty, humility and humanity.

We often find ourselves having to compromise or to weigh one possibility against another without really knowing which will yield the results we wish.  These 11 suggestions can act as a good compass to help us chart our way through the process of managing people and projects.

This week, try committing to some of these suggestions in your managerial position. If you’re not a manager, take a look at these suggestions and see if one of them serves as a good guide for you to improve your performance.

I’m going to try this one out: “Assume responsibility for outcomes as well as for the processes and people you work with.”  Although we can’t control how other people work, we do have an opportunity to positively influence others every day. I’ll try  being a more positive and creative influence this week.

See which works best for you, and don’t be afraid to experiment with it.

Have a good week!

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

© Copyright 2010 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights reserved.

1/25/10- “Beauty”

Good day, team,

This week’s challenge is about beauty: beauty in what we see, beauty in what we do, how we perceive beauty and the effect it has upon us.

I was thinking about this subject today because it was an incredibly beautiful day. I live in the Pacific Northwest, and days of brilliant blue sky and bright sunshine are few and far between from November to June. It’s a long, painful stretch of grey days, often with continuous rain or at least consistently cloudy skies. We do our best to combat the depression that can often come from day after day of rain, but there’s no doubt, it takes a toll on most of us. Even the most avid rain lovers start to complain when even at the end of May, it’s only 45 degrees and still raining.

Today it was 54 degrees and completely clear. I marveled at how blue the sky was, how bright the reflection of the sun on the water, the added lift the warmth gave to every person I saw who was walking around without a jacket or coat, secretly smiling to themselves, thinking that maybe spring was not so far away.  All of this right smack dab in the middle of January. Miracles never cease.

Before that day, I had been a bit depressed by recent events: the death and destruction in Haiti, the recent Supreme Court ruling about corporate funding for political campaigns, mud slides in California, the health care bill seeming farther away than ever from passage, the occasional grief that still surfaces in me about my father’s death. I began to feel that the few forward steps we were all able to take last year had gotten reversed and we had been losing ground since Jan. 1.

Today was the complete opposite of that drudgery and depression because the sheer beauty of it lifted me far beyond the doldrums I has been experiencing. This is the true miracle of beauty: It fills us up to new heights, it inspires us, it makes us grateful in a moment for the pleasure we are experiencing.

Years ago, I was sitting in a restaurant with a boyfriend of mine. There just happened to be many beautiful women in the restaurant that evening, and it was almost impossible not to gaze at their faces, their bodies, the way they moved, what they were wearing. Whether you were male or female, you could not ignore the beautiful sights in the room. At one point, I became a little embarrassed that I was staring at a woman whose beautiful face was truly amazing to see. I said to my boyfriend, “Well, a thing of beauty is a joy forever.” He gave me an appreciative smile and said, “No kidding!”

At that moment, a fairly homely woman came into the restaurant. I felt a little sorry for her. She was the ugly ducking amidst the beautiful swans. My boyfriend looked at her and said, “Isn’t it amazing? I’ve never looked at a woman who I couldn’t find in some way beautiful. Look at that woman’s nose: It’s perfectly shaped.” I couldn’t believe his comment. In all that beauty, he was commenting on the homeliest woman in the room. But when I looked at her more closely, I saw that she did have an incredibly beautiful nose.

This week, try noticing the beauty around you. Maybe it’s the curve of someone’s arm or the way a person’s eyes light up when smiling. Perhaps you see the beauty in the face of your spouse as he or she asks you how your day went, or your child’s particular way of showing you love. Try looking out the window more than a few times this week. Even in winter there is beauty: the shape of tree limbs without leaves, the way water reflects many different shades of grey or blue, how fire and heat glow in the fireplace. Perhaps you’ll notice the steam that rises from a freshly brewed cup of coffee or tea and the beautiful patterns it makes as it curls up into the air.

If you haven’t done so in awhile, go to a place that showcases beauty, like an art museum or a park. Find your way to a place that fills you up with its beauty and be thankful for it. Sometimes to lift my spirits I walk into a florist shop and breathe in the lovely scents and gaze at the pretty arrangements.

Confucius said, “Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it.” Try noticing the beauty around you this week. I guarantee you, it will change your state and your attitude for the better.

Have a good week.

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

© Copyright 2010 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights reserved.

1/18/10

Good day, team,

Toward the end of last year, I asked some of my clients to answer three questions in preparation for 2010. Answering these questions is a useful exercise at the beginning of a new year, since they force us to focus on what we want to let go of and what we want more of in our professional and personal lives.

Here are the questions I posed:

1) What would you like to do differently this year (old habits you’d prefer not to repeat; dealing with something you avoided last year; creating an opportunity to innovate)?

2) What would you like more of in your professional life?  What do you need to do to get it?

3) What would you like more of in your personal life? What do you need to do to get it?

I also recently read a Harvard Business Review blog (http://blogs.hbr.org/cs/2010/01/three_questions_executives_sho.html) that posed three other good questions:

1) If there was only one thing I could do to improve my business, what would it be and how would I make it happen?

2) If there was only one thing I could focus on to improve my personal performance, what would that be and how would I make it happen?

3) What messages am I not listening to or refusing to confront in my business and personal performance and how am I going to overcome that this year?

If we pause to reflect before embarking on a new beginning, we give ourselves a chance to make better, more intentional decisions about direction, goals and courses of action. We are often so busy with our day-to-day tasks that we don’t  rise above the daily to-do list to get a broader viewpoint. These questions require us to think through what’s come before as a springboard for creating a road map for the future. We  can review, compare, contrast and analyze possibilities to make important distinctions and, from that insight, better decisions about how to move forward.

If you haven’t done so already, this week ask yourself a few of the above-mentioned questions. The HBR blog encourages the following approach:

“I suggest real interaction with these questions. Don’t just think about them for a minute and then put them aside. Write out answers. Commit to what you’ve written down, and start the year off well.”

Writing your answers down is an excellent way to see if you’re being truthful with yourself.  It also encourages more commitment to do what you say you want to do.

January is one of the few times we can demarcate a new start: It’s an opportunity to renew and refresh. Take advantage of this new beginning and ask yourself some good questions. You’ll have a chance to live the questions and the answers all year long.

Have a good week.

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

© Copyright 2010 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights reserved.