This post is about exploring many different forms of communication and the importance of our non-verbal communication.
I recall the year that we had visitors at our home from France, One of our guests didn’t speak English, and my French is very elementary, so it was challenging to communicate. I found myself relying on gestures and tone of voice to get my messages across. It’s was fun to attempt new French words by stretching my brain to find any kind of Latinate word that might be the root of an English or French word when trying to speak to each other. Surprisingly, many words in the two languages appear similar, but their pronunciations are so different that they’re unrecognizable.
As human beings, we are masters at using every possible skill we possess to be understood. We are used to understanding and being understood without trying. But the truth is, we often communicate something very different than the words we are speaking.
When we have to rely on gestures, facial expressions and tone of voice, we realize how much we communicate nonverbally. How many times have you sat in a business meeting and heard someone saying one thing while his or her facial expressions convey a very different sentiment? Isn’t it interesting that, even over the phone, when someone stops listening to you, you can feel it? When my daughter-in-law tells my grandson, “Owen, you need to pick up your toys,” she uses a different tone the first time she says it than the third time. The words may be the same, but Owen finally realizes that he’d better pick up his toys this time or he’s going to be in trouble.
Try to notice your gestures, your tone of voice, and your facial expressions when you communicate. Do you use your hands a lot when you’re trying to emphasize something? Maybe your tone of voice becomes very different when you’re trying to communicate a sense of urgency. Pay close attention to the communication styles of the people around you. Does their tone of voice change depending on who they’re dealing with or what they’re attending to? Perhaps you see that peoples’ communication becomes more relaxed when they’re with their own team or their friends compared to when they’re with people they don’t know as well.
Whatever the case, try seeing how consistent you are in your communication. Do your facial expressions represent the same message that’s coming out of your mouth or are you sending out mixed messages? Are you using the right words to convey your message? How do you know if people actually understand you?
As my Mother used to say, “A small wink of an eye communicates a big message.”
Kathleen