This post is about bundling fearful thoughts and finding some peace.
Since the U.S. presidential election in 2024, I’ve often reflected upon the state of the world. We’ve been on a wild ride economically, ecologically and politically, and the safety and security that we’ve enjoyed for generations seems to be threatened.
Sometimes I wonder about this perception. It’s possible that much of what we’ve thought was safe and secure was an illusion and that, in our dreamy state, we ignored some key signs along the way that were trying to tell us to pay more attention. In any case, here we are in a new year, facing some great challenges.
Where in all of this do we find peace? How do we maintain our equanimity in the midst of stormy conditions, not just outside of us, but within us as well? Peace of mind and heart are challenged when our external circumstances grow grim, and yet these are the very times when peace and tranquility are what we need to face adversity.
When things get tough for me, I notice that my peace of mind is most challenged by what I call bundling. I let my mind run helter-skelter, and one thought builds on another until there’s a huge bundle of worries that overwhelms me. It goes something like this:
“Gee, what’s going to happen to the healthcare system in this country? What will I do as I continue to age? How will I find a doctor that isn’t already totally booked up to help me if I need it? Given the state of the country, it doesn’t seem that our political leaders are doing very much to help out the average American citizen. Prices are up and health insurance premiums are on the rise. The cost of utilities is also going off the charts and there doesn’t seem to be a movement in our current government to support alternative energy that’s cheaper. And, what’s going to happen to my retirement account? The stock market is up but seems shakier than ever. What will happen if it suddenly tanks and then my retirement account is worth nothing?”
And so it goes. In one stream of thoughts, I’ve gone from worrying about my healthcare, not being able to find a doctor if I got sick, to higher cost of living expenses, the government not working for the people, and about my retirement account. As one thought piles on to the next, and then another, and then another, they all fuse into one big bundle that becomes much too difficult to overcome.
We become depressed when we bundle all our fears together. Then that negative state just adds more grim thoughts to the bundle, and so on. Regaining peace in this scenario is almost impossible, and once we’re depressed, it’s much more difficult to access the positive thoughts that might pull us out of that state.
The solution is to prevent a bundle from accumulating in the first place. When these thoughts try to pile on top of each other, I have to stop and say to myself, “Hold on here, let’s not bundle all these thoughts. They really don’t belong together in the first place, and sitting here allowing them to build on each other will not help your state of mind or your retirement account. Try to look at exactly what is directly in front of you.”
When I observe myself bundling, I often ask myself, “Do I really need to worry about all of these things? Are they actually happening in my life right now?” I also try looking out of my eyes to see what’s directly in front of me. It helps to break the thought pattern, and one more bundle that wanted to become bigger has just been unbundled! What a relief! In these moments, I can once again access a spaciousness and awareness that gives me much more freedom, clarity and peace in the moment.
It’s a worthwhile exercise is to find peace within yourself, particularly in the midst of difficult circumstances. Perhaps you put a reminder of peace on your desk and each time you see it, you return to that state within yourself that feels content and at rest. Sometimes reminding yourself to breathe will give you immediate access to a more peaceful state. Taking a walk and breaking up the pattern of the day can often bring peace to our hearts.
One of my friends makes a list of all of the things that come up in her mind when she starts bundling. By doing this, she can stop the ranting and raving, as she calls it, because she can actually see on paper how the thoughts are unrelated. Then she puts the list in a drawer and says to herself, “Nope, I’m not going to keep doing this. I have more important things to attend to, and my peace of mind is more important to me.” I have a note card on my desk that asks, “Do these thoughts and feelings serve me in this moment?”
Try experimenting with whatever reminders you can come up with to save yourself from bundling. The beauty of peace is that we can access it at any time within ourselves by choosing it over anything else. Even in the most dire circumstances, our internal state of peace is always possible.
One of my favorite writers, Wendell Berry, describes peace beautifully in the following poem:
The Peace of Wild Things
When despair for the world grows in me
and I wake in the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children’s lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting with their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.
Kathleen