This post is the third installment in my Horse Sense series: “Give Them Some Rope.”
I hadn’t always wanted a horse, but after a serious fall down a flight of stairs, I thought learning to ride might help with the post-traumatic stress I was experiencing. With no prior experience, I chose to lease a wonderful horse named Treasure for the summer. Over three months, she taught me lessons that resonate far beyond the stables.
One of the first lessons was about allowing her to do things her way instead of imposing my will. One morning, I found Treasure in the pasture enjoying her breakfast. Convincing a horse to wear a halter and follow a lead rope is never easy, but that day she complied with only a few snorts.
I intended to work with her on a long lead line, so I attached a 24-foot rope instead of the usual 12-foot one. This gave her more freedom but required greater patience from me. Almost immediately, Treasure tested the rope’s limits, pulling faster and stronger than I expected. Each time I yanked back, she stopped, confused. My mixed signals—offering freedom but then taking it away—were only creating frustration for both of us.
This dynamic is familiar in management. We often give others responsibility, then intervene when things don’t go exactly as planned. The result? Confusion, resentment, and missed opportunities for learning.
During one lesson, Treasure performed the task I asked—but in the “wrong” direction. I yanked the rope, and my instructor asked, “Did you want her to do it your way or to do it the way she’s learning?” The point hit me: progress is progress, even if it looks different from what I imagined. By letting the rope slide a little and gently guiding her, she could explore, learn, and eventually succeed.
How often do we fail to recognize accomplishments because they don’t match our expectations? Many clients express frustration when empowered to lead a project only to have it taken back due to micro-management. The solution is simple: give them more rope. Provide space to learn, and intervene gently when necessary.
Allowing room to explore—even if it initially takes a detour—encourages growth and learning. By releasing rather than yanking, we remain engaged in the process, support independence, and see the results for what they truly are.
As Benjamin Franklin wrote:
“Tell me, and I forget. Teach me, and I remember. Involve me, and I learn.”
Kathleen