Dealing With Our Blindspots

This post is about recognizing our blind spots—and taking action once we see them.

When I trained to become a coach, I discovered one of my major blind spots: I often interrupted people. I would jump in mid-sentence, finish their thoughts, or ask questions while they were still talking. I quickly realized this behavior was not only inappropriate for coaching but also irritating to friends and family who had tolerated it for years.

Once I got past the embarrassment, I began observing when and why I interrupted:

• Engagement: I was more likely to interrupt when excited about a topic. The energy built in my body, and words would come out before I could control them.

• Assumption of understanding: I often thought I already knew what someone was saying and finished their sentences.

• Lack of awareness: I rarely noticed how irritating this was to others, which kept the blind spot intact.

Later, in the Goldsmith stakeholder coaching program, I learned the power of feedback— and “feed forward,” as Marshall Goldsmith calls it. By asking stakeholders to observe my behavior and provide guidance, I could identify blind spots and receive practical suggestions for change.

For example, when my coach pointed out my interruptions in front of the class, I was mortified. The energy I felt when engaging with ideas suddenly felt blocked. I asked, “How do I stop this and what do I do with this energy?” My classmates offered simple, practical solutions:

• Be present to your breathing while the other person speaks; breathe through the urge to interrupt.

• Sit on your hands or put them in your pockets until the speaker finishes.

• Monitor your tone of voice; speaking from your belly rather than your throat can help slow down and control impulses.

Their advice was humbling and eye-opening. Everyone has blind spots, and seeing them requires vulnerability and a willingness to listen. The process encouraged me to ask for more feedback and to take action in the areas where I was most blind.

Here are some questions to help identify your own blind spots:

1. How do I respond to constructive feedback?

   • Do I become defensive or dismissive?

   • Do my reactions discourage honest input?

2. Do I dominate conversations?

   • Do I talk more than I listen?

   • Do I notice others disengaging?

3. Do I default to the “devil’s advocate”?

   • Am I quick to disagree just to make a point?

   • Is it helpful, or does it undermine others?

4. Do I use humor as a shield?

   • Do I play the “class clown” at others’ expense?

   • Does my humor deflect from serious topics?

5. Do I lean toward cynicism?

   • Do I make sarcastic or negative remarks when others are excited?

   • Does my cynicism dampen energy or momentum?

6. Do I underestimate the impact of subtle comments?

   • Do I make snide or offhand remarks under stress?

   • Do I assume they won’t be noticed, even though they linger?

The most valuable part of asking for feedback is receiving sincere, helpful responses. Just as we wouldn’t let a blind person cross a busy street without guidance, we can help each other see the behaviors we cannot see ourselves.

Kathleen