Category: Coach’s Challenge

Coach’s challenge for 7/5/10 “Lincoln”

Good day, team,

In celebration of the 4th of July weekend, I am sending a poem about
Abraham Lincoln that I particularly like, written by Vachel Lindsay.
This week’s challenge is in the poem’s first line.

Lincoln

Would I might rouse the Lincoln in you all,
That which is gendered in the wilderness
From lonely prairies and God’s tenderness.
Imperial soul, star of a weedy stream,
Born where the ghosts of buffaloes still dream,
Whose spirit hoof-beats storm above his grave,
Above that breast of earth and prairie-fire—
Fire that freed the slave.

Have a good week!

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

© Copyright 2010 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights
reserved

6/28/10 “Being Wrong”

Good day, team,

This past week, it’s become increasingly clear to me that we do not like
to be wrong. I think this trait is pretty universal. Something in our
nature finds being wrong painful and hard to get over.

As often happens, just as I was thinking about this topic, I happened upon a
newspaper article about a former Portland journalist, Kathryn Schultz,
who’s written a book titled “Being Wrong.” Here are some highlights
from the book according to an interview with the author by Roxanne MacManus
of Willamette Week:

“In her first book, ‘Being Wrong,’ the author reveals there are many,
many ways to be wrong, from when our senses trick us into seeing an
optical illusion to our own memories of events. However, it turns out
that being wrong isn’t as big of a problem as the difficulty we have
with letting go of ‘rightness’ because it forces us to rethink how we
view ourselves and the world.”

In the interview, Schultz says, “I actually started thinking about
being right and how we’re all attached to that experience. I wondered,
‘Why do I want to be right? Why do I spend so much time proving my own
rightness?’

“I have this theory that we remove anything that is positive or
interesting from the category of ‘wrongness.’ We have such negative
associations with the idea of error that if something is good or makes
us happy, and we learn from it, then it’s suddenly not a part of
wrongness; happy surprises, sensory illusions, moments of illumination–
those happen because of wrongness, but we don’t think of it that way,
because we have such negative associations with the idea.

“I think the two hardest things to be wrong about are ourselves and
other people. I was in this relationship when I was 24 that I thought
would last forever. I was completely and totally wrong about that and
it was so painful, and part of the pain is wrongness–the shock in
thinking your life is going a certain way and then having that collapse.
After that, I traveled the world; I moved to New York; I became a
writer. Everything I love about my life came out of the catastrophic
collapse of those beliefs.

“The best part of being wrong is the possibility to come up with a new
idea. The experience of being wrong forces us to explore further, and to
me that experience of surprise and confusion, which can be disorienting,
it makes you see the world in a new way, and suddenly everything is new.”

I thought back to some of the difficult experiences I’ve had over the
past few months in my work and private life. In each case,
I thought I’d done something wrong or someone was telling me I was
wrong. This wrongness never fit with my imaginary picture of who I
think I am–in my work or as a friend or loved one. In each case, I was
disillusioned about my own sense of rightness and defended it in a
variety of ways to prove that I was not wrong. Never mind any lessons I
learned from being wrong, or new ideas I came up with once I realized
something wasn’t working: My insistence on being right was predominant.

This week, observe what happens in your interactions with others when
you’re trying to be right. Do you often correct others when you think
their facts are not right? Do you feel compelled to control a situation
to make it right? How about trying to make other people right?

Conversely, see how it feels to be wrong. What happens in your body
when someone points out that you’re wrong? Does your chest get tight?
Do you feel short of breath? Do you immediately become angry
or depressed? Do you become defensive?

Once you’ve observed the situation, experiment with not fixing what’s wrong.
Try not correcting others for a day or two to see how it feels.
Maybe you live with something that’s wrong for a few days, just to see
what can be learned from the experiment. If you’re editing a document,
you could intentionally not correct a misspelled word, just to see how
that makes you feel. Perhaps you could allow family and friends
to be wrong about something without offering a suggestion about how to make it
right. Or maybe you admit that you’re wrong and leave it at that.

On a larger scale, take a look at the belief you may hold about yourself as
being right most of the time. Why is that so important? Are you
preventing yourself from learning new things or having new experiences
because you’re tightly holding on to your image of yourself as being
right? How about having the courage to admit when you’re wrong and then
not beating yourself up internally because you were?

One of my clients said to me recently, “I’m not afraid to tell you when
I’m wrong. This is liberating for me. It gives me a brand new way to
look at things and opens up more possibilities for me.” This week, I
hope more of us can have this experience.

Have a good week!

Kathleen

*The quotes used in this challenge come from an article entitled,
“Hotseat: Kathryn Schulz, A former Portland journalist explains why
sometimes it’s right to be wrong.” by Roxanne Macmanus for the
Willamette Weekly.

© Copyright 2010 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights
reserved.

6/21/10 “Hobbies”

Good day, team,

This week, it’s become increasingly clear to me that I need a hobby.
Frankly, the idea has never appealed to me. Maybe it’s just the word hobby.
My only association with it is hobby horse, which also did not sound very
desirable. Maybe it’s because no one in my immediate family had a hobby.
Or maybe it’s because activities like quilting or airplane model-making
didn’t light my fire.

This morning, I consulted a dictionary to try to change my attitude.
A hobby is “an activity or interest pursued for pleasure or relaxation
and not as a main occupation.” Then I realized why I need a hobby. It
would be good for me to engage in an activity that provides pleasure
and/or relaxation that’s not work-related.

Yesterday, I worked on a photo album to give our kids who are moving
from Oregon to Ohio. I started on it and when I next looked at the
clock, three hours had gone by and I hadn’t even noticed. I got so involved
with choosing the right photographs, sorting them, trimming the corners
to fit into the album, etc., that I wasn’t at all aware of the time going
by. I realized when my husband walked into the room that I was thirsty
and hungry, but I hadn’t even noticed. I looked around me and discovered
little bits of paper and photos all over the place and I hadn’t noticed
them either. It suddenly dawned on me that this little project had given
me energy. I had enjoyed working on it to such a degree that I totally lost
track of time and place.

This is part of what hobbies are all about: Doing something with our leisure
time that gives us energy. Finding a hobby we can do on our own, that gives
us enjoyment, satisfaction and a sense of renewal, seems to be essential
to achieving better balance in life.

My grandfather loved caring for his roses in the spring and summer. Each
day he would go out to the backyard and study the beautiful bushes that
lined the back of the house. I can still see him sitting in his canvas
garden chair, dressed in his work clothes and weather-beaten straw hat,
admiring his roses, their color and shape, checking how much sun they
were getting or whether he had pruned them right a few weeks back. Then,
he would take his clippers and his watering can and approach them with great
care. He put on his gloves, carefully snipped here and there, and gathered the faded
blossoms in a basket. Then he removed his gloves and got on his hands and
knees to feel how moist the soil was or to spread it where it had become uneven.

He did these things with surgical precision. Sometimes he would spray for bugs
or add extra fertilizer to the soil. Then he would sit again, sipping on iced
tea my grandmother had brought him, and admire his roses. Before he was finished for the
day, he would cut the flowers that he wanted to bring into the house. He created a small
bouquet in his gloved hand, eventually putting them into a basket to deliver to my
grandmother. It brought him great satisfaction.

In the winter months, he continued his research about roses, looking
through the many catalogs that came in the mail and choosing just the right
specimens to replace or add to his collection.

I often wondered why this retired attorney had turned to growing roses
as a hobby. When I asked my father about it, he replied, “Well, he
loved the finished product. Nothing made him happier than to see a
bouquet of fresh roses on the dining room table that he had picked for
your grandmother that day. He felt as though he had accomplished something
special for both of them.”

This week, your challenge is to choose a hobby or put more time and
attention toward the hobby you already have. Perhaps you decide to
learn to draw or to knit. Perhaps you’re interested in learning how to
make beer or to build small wooden toys for your kids or grandkids.
My husband’s hobby is playing keyboard on Wednesday nights with other musicians.
My sister lives in Hawaii and creates gorgeous pastels of the surrounding
landscape and ocean. My friend Kate rides her horse Indigo for pleasure and
relaxation.

So what will mine be? I’m not sure yet, but this week I’m going to concentrate
on finding it.

As Dale Carnegie advised, “Today is life–the only life you are sure of.
Make the most of today. Get interested in something. Shake yourself
awake. Develop a hobby. Let the winds of enthusiasm sweep through you.
Live today with gusto.”

Have a good week,

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

© Copyright 2010 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights reserved.

6/14/10 “Joy”

Good day, team,

Yesterday, after so many days of grey skies, hard rain and the kind of wet cold that you can never warm, the sun came out. There was not a cloud in the sky. I went outside. I stood in the sunlight. I took my first deep breath in two months. I soaked in every radiant particle. I experienced pure joy.

Here are two poems by Rumi that describe my feeling.

The Source of Joy

No one knows what makes the soul wake
up so happy! Maybe a dawn breeze has

blown the veil from the face of God.
A thousand new moons appear. Roses

open laughing. Hearts become perfect
rubies like those from Badakshan. The

body turns entirely spirit. Leaves
become branches in this wind. Why is

it not so easy to surrender, even for
those already surrendered? There’s no

answer to any of this. No one knows
the source of joy. A poet breathes

into a reed flute, and the tip of
every hair makes music. Shams sails

down clods of dirt from the roof, and
we take jobs as doorkeepers for him.

Joy

Joy moves always to new locations,
the ease of its flow never freezing.

A long winter’s tale is over. Now
with each spring day a new story.

This week, allow yourself the experience of pure joy. Perhaps it comes in that first bite of something incredibly delicious. Maybe you sink your nose into a fragrant rose and inhale that intoxicating scent. How about wrapping your arms around someone you love and allowing yourself to fully embrace them? Or when someone says something humorous, allowing yourself a big, full-bellied laugh that shakes your whole body to the core?

Give yourself the gift of joy this week. You deserve it!

Have a good week,

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

© Copyright 2010 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights r

6/7/10 “Ubuntu”

Good day, team,

An article I read recently in The New York Times inspired me and is the subject of this week’s challenge.

In the small, faraway village of Maqongqo, South Africa, a school principal named Rita Mkhize is proud to talk about the concept of “ubuntu,” which in Zulu means “We are what we are because of other people.” I was immediately intrigued and read on.

“The whole theory is an ideal. Different areas of a person’s life are affected by how they understand these concepts and how they understand sharing and giving opportunities,” said Thobile Biyela, an interpreter at the University of KwaZulu-Natal, not far from Maqongqo.

The article continued, “Beyond being a catchy slogan or good-luck charm, ubuntu is a road map for how life should be lived. In South Africa, this concept underlies the foundations of its Constitutional Court. The court characterizes it as synonymous with humanness; social justice; fairness; the rehabilitation of offenders; the maintenance of law and order; and recognizing a person’s status as a human being entitled to unconditional respect, dignity and value.”

As many of you may know, the World Cup soccer championship is being held in South Africa this year. For the South Africans, the significance of this event is largely economic. It will bring many needed jobs and opportunities to an area that has large numbers of unemployed. Even for people merely selling flags by the roadside, it’s a way to make money. But the World Cup is also an opportunity for the rest of the world to see ubuntu in action, and when it comes to sports, the concept is alive and well.

Ubuntu seems especially appropriate for team sports because it describes an approach to life characterized by selflessness, sharing, unity and respect. In fact, Coach Doc Rivers of the Boston Celtics basketball team introduced it two seasons ago to his team, and if you look at their record over the past two years, it makes you wonder if ubuntu hasn’t inspired the team to be the champions they have become.

In the small village of Maqongqo, the primary school has very successful school teams. “They win all the time,” proclaims the principal.

Even the U.S. soccer team has embraced this concept. We will have an opportunity to see if it increases their chances in the upcoming competition.

Your challenge this week is to test ubuntu with those around you. Perhaps you describe the concept at a team meeting, and when the going gets tough, you use it as a rallying cry to remind people to come together and serve each other. Maybe you talk about it with your family, reminding each other that we are what we are largely because of the people we are closest to.

See if ubuntu inspires you to remember that a person’s status as a human being entitles him or her to unconditional respect, dignity and value. As hard as it may be to apply ubuntu to our daily experiences with others, it’s good to know that in Maqongqo, the concept is alive and well.

As Biyela went on to say, “As a 21st century African woman, I’m feeling the crunch. I’m feeling like people are losing the spirit of ubuntu a little bit. That’s why we try to come here to Maqongqo and show that it still exists, it still lives on. People are still willing to share, still willing to give.”

Have a good week!

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

© Copyright 2010 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights reserved.

5/31/10

Good day team,

In honor of Memorial Day, I am sending this challenge about our armed forces.

Below is a picture of my Uncle Johnny. The year is 1945. He is 19 years old and a soldier in World War II. He enlisted at the age of 18 and fought on the shores of Normandy on June 6, 1944, D-Day. By the time this picture was taken, my Uncle Johnny was no longer a boy. He was a changed man. The horrors he witnessed during his tour of duty were unimaginable. He never spoke about them until he was in his late 70’s. One evening, very late at night, his only son asked him what the war was like. Over tears and lamentations, he spoke about his experiences.

My Uncle Johnny came back from the war as did his older brother, my Uncle Bud. They both survived but not without scars. My Uncle Bud lived with shrapnel in his back and shoulder for the rest of his life. He never complained and he never talked about the war.

I know that my uncles were brave during the war. I also saw their bravery exhibited throughout their lives. They got up each morning with an appreciation for the lives they lived. They worked hard, supported and enjoyed their families, and never quite understood why they came home from the war when many of their buddies did not. I guess they figured that in coming back home, they had a chance to make the best of their lives. It was one way they could honor their comrades who didn’t get that chance.

Today, there are plenty of kids serving in Afghanistan who like my uncles, are witnessing unimaginable horrors. There are countless men and woman who have returned home from serving in Iraq and Afghanistan who deal with a myriad of physical and psychological wounds every day. How they are supported and treated when they return, is our responsibility. Hopefully, we are here to help them in whatever way we can.
.
This week, spend a minute or two in grateful appreciation for our armed forces. I don’t believe that war is ever the answer, but the fact remains that at this very moment, it is happening in many places around the globe. Wherever they are, whether it be in Iraq, Afghanistan, or here in the US, take a moment to thank them, to love them, and to hope that they, like the rest of us, will live to see a world someday that lives in peace.

Have a good week!

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

© Copyright 2010 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights
reserved.

uncle_johnny

5/31/10 “Memorial Day”

Good day team,

In honor of Memorial Day, I am sending this challenge about our armed forces.

Below is a picture of my Uncle Johnny. The year is 1945. He is 19 years old and a soldier in World War II. He enlisted at the age of 18 and fought on the shores of Normandy on June 6, 1944, D-Day. By the time this picture was taken, my Uncle Johnny was no longer a boy. He was a changed man. The horrors he witnessed during his tour of duty were unimaginable. He never spoke about them until he was in his late 70’s. One evening, very late at night, his only son asked him what the war was like. Over tears and lamentations, he spoke about his experiences.

My Uncle Johnny came back from the war as did his older brother, my Uncle Bud. They both survived but not without scars. My Uncle Bud lived with shrapnel in his back and shoulder for the rest of his life. He never complained and he never talked about the war.

I know that my uncles were brave during the war. I also saw their bravery exhibited throughout their lives. They got up each morning with an appreciation for the lives they lived. They worked hard, supported and enjoyed their families, and never quite understood why they came home from the war when many of their buddies did not. I guess they figured that in coming back home, they had a chance to make the best of their lives. It was one way they could honor their comrades who didn’t get that chance.

Today, there are plenty of kids serving in Afghanistan who like my uncles, are witnessing unimaginable horrors. There are countless men and woman who have returned home from serving in Iraq and Afghanistan who deal with a myriad of physical and psychological wounds every day. How they are supported and treated when they return, is our responsibility. Hopefully, we are here to help them in whatever way we can.
.
This week, spend a minute or two in grateful appreciation for our armed forces. I don’t believe that war is ever the answer, but the fact remains that at this very moment, it is happening in many places around the globe. Wherever they are, whether it be in Iraq, Afghanistan, or here in the US, take a moment to thank them, to love them, and to hope that they, like the rest of us, will live to see a world someday that lives in peace.

Have a good week!

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

© Copyright 2010 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights
reserved.

uncle_johnny

5/31/10

Good day team,

In honor of Memorial Day, I am sending this challenge about our armed forces.

Below is a picture of my Uncle Johnny. The year is 1945. He is 19 years old and a soldier in World War II. He enlisted at the age of 18 and fought on the shores of Normandy on June 6, 1944, D-Day. By the time this picture was taken, my Uncle Johnny was no longer a boy. He was a changed man. The horrors he witnessed during his tour of duty were unimaginable. He never spoke about them until he was in his late 70’s. One evening, very late at night, his only son asked him what the war was like. Over tears and lamentations, he spoke about his experiences.

My Uncle Johnny came back from the war as did his older brother, my Uncle Bud. They both survived but not without scars. My Uncle Bud lived with shrapnel in his back and shoulder for the rest of his life. He never complained and he never talked about the war.

I know that my uncles were brave during the war. I also saw their bravery exhibited throughout their lives. They got up each morning with an appreciation for the lives they lived. They worked hard, supported and enjoyed their families, and never quite understood why they came home from the war when many of their buddies did not. I guess they figured that in coming back home, they had a chance to make the best of their lives. It was one way they could honor their comrades who didn’t get that chance.

Today, there are plenty of kids serving in Afghanistan who like my uncles, are witnessing unimaginable horrors. There are countless men and woman who have returned home from serving in Iraq and Afghanistan who deal with a myriad of physical and psychological wounds every day. How they are supported and treated when they return, is our responsibility. Hopefully, we are here to help them in whatever way we can.
.
This week, spend a minute or two in grateful appreciation for our armed forces. I don’t believe that war is ever the answer, but the fact remains that at this very moment, it is happening in many places around the globe. Wherever they are, whether it be in Iraq, Afghanistan, or here in the US, take a moment to thank them, to love them, and to hope that they, like the rest of us, will live to see a world someday that lives in peace.

Have a good week!

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

© Copyright 2010 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights
reserved.

5/24/10

Good day team,

This past week, I’ve had an opportunity to talk with many of my business client’s about succession planning. In short, succession planning is the process one goes through to determine who in your organization could take your place and putting a plan together to insure your replacements development. Hopefully, you’ll be able to choose someone who could not only do your job, but perhaps, do it better than you are doing it now. When you do succession planning, you’ve managed to hire and develop someone who brings lots of commitment and talent, and as they gain competence and confidence, it becomes easier to replace yourself when the time comes.

More often than not, when I ask my clients if they have a clear successor, they often reply, “well, no, I’d have to hire someone from the outside.” This is a sad tale for the team member who is hoping to take their bosses place. We all know what it’s like to work for many years, trying to do a good job, impress your boss, have a positive impact on the bottom line, develop your team, be reliable, responsible and competent, working nights and weekends to get that big promotion, only to find out that your boss is hiring someone in over you because they don’t think you’re strong enough to do their job. A life’s work erased in a moment. Nothing can kill our internal motivation faster than that.

So, if not having a good succession plan causes you to risk losing one of your best team members, why wait so long to do this?

Years ago,while visiting Germany for the first time, I learned the importance of succession planning . It was my first trip to Europe and we visited family friends in Munich. One day, riding in a car on the autobahn, our host was talking about the surrounding landscape as we looked over well manicured, verdant fields. In the distance we could see a small forest of perfectly grown trees, all the same height and width, that looked like a bright green patch in a quilt. As we approached, I marveled at it’s beauty. How could trees grow with such precision? When I inquired, our host asked if we could see the small church that stood just a few yards from the small forest. He explained, “when that church was built over 150 years ago, the local people used the trees around the site to build it. Knowing that eventually, the beetles, or the weather, or fire, would destroy the wood, they built that stand of trees so that they could replace the wooden beams and sides of the building when it was necessary. To this day, they plant a new tree every time they harvest an older one to sustain the church.”

This is succession planning at it’s best. Metaphorically, knowing that you might sooner or later be eaten by beetles, get pummeled by bad weather, or burned by fire, you plant seeds that will grow into healthy trees that can be harvested to replace you.

This week, give some serious thought to who will succeed you and start putting together a plan to do it. We are often under the illusion that we will live forever and along with that comes the imaginary idea that we can continue to work at our current rate, with our current level of commitment and competency. This too shall pass, and who will be there to carry on?

As my husband went out the door this morning to continue working on the outdoor fire/pizza oven he’s building, he said, “I’m going outside to continue to work on that which will outlive me.” It made me think of our grandchildren lifting fresh cooked breads and pizzas out of the oven, feeling gratitude for their G-Pops for having thought about his successors.

Have a good week!

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

© Copyright 2010 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights reserved.