2/24/13 “Taking A Risk”

Good day, team.

This week’s challenge is about taking a risk. After an intense three days in Los Angeles, where I attended an executive coaching training program, I have emerged with a deeper understanding of what it means to take a risk.

I play it pretty safe. Now that I’m into my sixth decade, I’ve observed that I’m pretty conservative about the way I live my life. I keep money in savings. I try not to spend too much and pay off my credit cards each month. I stay in touch with family and friends, sometimes not as often as I’d like. I get just enough exercise and try to eat what’s good for me. I try to use the advice my father gave me of “everything in moderation.”

In my business, I’m the same way. I made sure I got a good, solid coaching education before I went into the business. I use many of the same tools I’ve used for years that are tried and true. I rely on referrals for new business (no major marketing campaigns for me!), and I don’t charge my clients too much for my services compared to many in my profession.

Many of my clients play it safe as well. They go to work each day to jobs that are pretty demanding at times but that don’t require huge changes in how they approach their day-to-day challenges. Some of my clients take more risks in their jobs than others, depending on the demands of their role in the organization, but these people sometimes tend to play it safe in their personal lives. I remember one client saying to me, “I have no problem taking risks when I’m negotiating a deal for the company, but when it comes to my personal life, no way!” Perhaps one of the tenants I learned in my training is true: We tend to attract people whose values are similar to our own.

Occasionally, I work with folks in startup companies who love the energy that comes from taking risks. For them, taking a real risk might mean sitting quietly for a day rather than letting the startup pace speed them through one task after another. What would they do if they couldn’t get swept up in that momentum for a day? What would it mean to just stop for a day? Pretty risky proposition for someone who loves the speed and high intensity of a startup.

Over the past week in my coaching training, something began to dawn on me. How long had it been since I had taken a risk? When I changed professions from recruiting to coaching, I took a risk. Most of my recruiting clients didn’t even know what coaching was (I’m not sure I knew what coaching was back then) because the profession was in its infancy. Try telling a customer who’s come to you for one service that he or she really needs a different service. You get a lot of “not interested” comments in return.

I took a risk when I pulled up stakes in California after 20 years and moved to Oregon. I only knew a few people in Portland, and I knew very little about the city or its culture. But I remember distinctly knowing that leaving the Bay Area was what I needed to do. I just wasn’t at all sure that Portland was the right place to land.

Taking those risks changed my life for the better in more ways than I imagined. It wasn’t as though everything in Portland turned out to be perfect. There were lots of challenges and obstacles to overcome — plenty of scary moments when I thought, “What have I done?” or “Why did I do this?”

What I see in retrospect is that the hardest part of taking the risk was changing how I looked at the losses and gains. Taking a risk requires a change in mindset. You have to go from focusing on what you’ll lose to what you’ll gain. You have to keep your mind on the benefits that taking the risk can bring, rather than focusing on the losses. And it means not allowing yourself to wallow in regrets when things don’t go exactly as you hope they will. My good friend Kimberlee completely changed her life five years ago when she left a high-powered corporate job and moved to southern France. She recently wrote on her blog, “After years of saying, ‘If only,” I’m now saying, ‘It’s only.’” (Read the full blog post at http://noregretsforme.blogspot.com.) Being comfortable with risk means forgiving and letting go of what used to be and allowing what can become. It’s seeing that taking a risk doesn’t mean your life is coming to an end.

This past week, I realized that the time is right to take some risks in my business. I went to the training looking for some new tools to sharpen up my coaching. What I received was a totally new way to offer my services and run my business. Many of the ideas and processes that the trainers shared changed my perspective on coaching. For example, I learned that without regular input from your major stakeholders, your direct reports, your boss, your spouse, the incentive to actually change behaviors isn’t strong enough. Coaching is really all about helping people change the behaviors that are preventing them from being successful.

The use of 360-degree feedback is prevalent in most organizations because it’s a way to get feedback from your stakeholders on how you’re behaving. But just like performance reviews, you get this feedback only once or twice a year. The traditional 360 process has many other pitfalls, too, such as people spending more time trying to guess who the anonymous feedback came from rather than thanking people for their suggestions, or no checks and balances to follow up and see if the person receiving the feedback is actually making changes.

As a coach, when I work with people after they’ve received their 360 feedback, they often focus almost exclusively on the negative comments they received. They generally try to defend themselves with, “They just don’t understand me” or “I know they don’t like me and are trying to sabotage me.” Even the suggestions they think are worthwhile generally only get put into place for a little while before they return to their more comfortable ways of behaving. Net-net: There’s no permanent change in behavior.

In my training, I learned a process that actually ensures behavioral change. Yes, it takes a year to do it, and there are parts of it that can be tedious — because it’s very methodical. But everyone is involved in the process of improvement, and in the end, the entire team wins. So it’s a win-win for the person being coached and all the stakeholders.

This endorsement makes it sound like I can just immediately begin adapting this new approach. But it will be risky, so I’m now faced with the question of whether or not I’m willing to take the risk. What could I lose by doing this and what could I gain?

I believe if we ask for something, we get it. It doesn’t always come packaged the way we imagine it should be. I hoped for a husband that would be 6 feet 2 inches tall and blond. Instead, my husband is 5 feet 9 inches tall with dark hair. But I got what I really wanted and needed: someone who truly loves me. There’s power in asking for what you really want, and if you’re sincere, then taking the risks needed to get it and not getting stuck on what you think it should look like or how it should be will become part of the commitment you make to yourself.

I’ve asked for this opportunity to take a risk. I hate to admit it because it makes me fearful to think of making fundamental changes in my life. But I also know that when I’ve done this in the past, I have gained so much more than I ever imagined possible. It won’t be easy, but as Chaucer wrote, “Nothing ventured, nothing gained.”

This week, ask yourself, “When was the last time I took a risk?” When did you force yourself out of the comfortable nest you were in to take your first flight? How long has it been since you took a completely different approach to how you do your business or launched headlong into a project that you know will confront you with challenges and obstacles along the way? Rather than focus on what’s preventing you from taking a risk, how about spending the week identifying something you’d really like to do but have been too afraid to attempt? Then take one step toward making it a reality.

Here are four wonderful quotes about risk-taking that I share with you this week to encourage all of us to take a risk.

“People who don’t take risks generally make about two big mistakes a year. People who do take risks generally make about two big mistakes a year.” ~ Peter F. Drucker, management consultant, educator, and author

“You must lose a fly to catch a trout.” ~ George Herbert, poet, orator and priest

“Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did. So, throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor, catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” ~ Mark Twain, writer and humorist

“Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out. ~ James B. Conant, educator and scientist

Have a good week,

Kathleen

 

© Copyright 2013 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search Inc., all rights reserved.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2/17/13 “Do What Makes You Happy”

Good day, team.

First, a correction regarding last week’s challenge, “Remarkable Bosses.” The quoted piece was not written by Roy Gardner as I stated but by author Jeff Haden and was published originally in Inc. magazine. The article, titled “9 Hidden Qualities of Remarkable Bosses,” can be found in the Feb. 4, 2013, issue of the magazine. My apologies for the incorrect attribution and to Mr. Haden.

This week’s challenge has emerged from a book I just finished reading, “Short Night of the Shadow Catcher: The Epic Life and Immortal Photographs of Edward Curtis” by Timothy Egan. It’s a wonderful book about how the famous photographer Edward Curtis grew up in the Midwest, how he started taking pictures and eventually became the premiere portrait photographer in Seattle, and how he found his life’s mission in photographing and recording the dialects and cultural details of the American Indian.

He did most of his work in the Indians’ natural settings, and although disease and forced relocation reduced native populations to almost nothing, Curtis managed to produce an astounding 20-volume set of books called “The North American Indian,” which has become a national treasure. Somehow Curtis knew that he was photographing and recording a race of people that would possibly be gone forever, and it gave him a sense of urgency that caused him to focus his entire life on this project.

The dedication Curtis had to his project and the love and respect he experienced for the Indians inspires me.

What is it that captures a person so totally that they become completely devoted to a design, a project, an idea? What caused Thomas Edison to create 400 patented product designs within an eight-year period? What makes a professional dancer such as Rudolf Nureyev practice ballet six to eight hours a day, seven days a week to perfect his technique? How does this kind of dedication emerge and take hold of someone so that he or she gives up almost everything else? What drives the dedication?

In Curtis’ case, it started with the faces he saw through the lens of his camera. In the first few portraits of Indians he produced, he saw expressions of pride but also resignation in the faces of his subjects. He saw a wisdom and emotional depth that he didn’t understand but was drawn to. He saw a deep anger and resentment that he would only understand some years later after he had lived with the Indians in their diminished surroundings. He wanted to know more about these people, and because he knew they were disappearing, he knew he had a limited window of time.

Curtis was re-energized each time he arrived at an Indian camp, often after a weeks-long, perilous journey. I knew this was why he kept doing it, even at the expense of his family and financial resources. He loved their ceremonies and rituals, their spiritual beliefs and deep connection to nature, their familial ways and artifacts. They filled his heart in a way that no life in Seattle could, and he felt a deep devotion to making sure the things he loved about their culture would be shared forever.

In reading about Curtis, I began to understand that his happiness came not from dedication to his life’s purpose of recording a dying race of people but from doing what made him most happy. Even if Curtis hadn’t produced “The Native American Indian,” I’m sure he would have found a way to live and work with the Indians he grew to love and respect. Fortunately, the project continued to allow him to do what he loved.

Somehow, all this took me off the hook, so to speak, from having to have a life’s purpose. It’s kind of like being asked when you’re a kid, “What do you want to do when you grow up?” When you’re a kid, you often don’t have a clue and can feel like a real dummy when you reply, “I dunno.

There’s so much talk nowadays, particularly in coaching circles, about needing to have a life’s purpose. I see many of my clients struggling with the big question, “Why am I doing this when it doesn’t seem important?” This attitude fosters scarcity thinking. We focus on what’s missing rather than on an appreciation for what we already have or what we are already doing, which instead fosters an attitude of abundance. When I study people who were so devoted to what they were doing and who, in many cases, had a huge impact on the world around them, I see people who often didn’t start out knowing what their great mission in life would be. They simply stumbled onto something they grew to love and kept doing it. So the real devotion is not to some external purpose but to whatever it is that enriches our heart and feeds our soul.

I feel fortunate that the work I do has meaning and brings me joy. Of course, this doesn’t happen every day, but most days, in one of my meetings with a client, there will be a moment of understanding or a connection made that reminds me of why I do what I do. I get the most joy from getting to the heart of the matter and helping someone find what’s important and then learn to make decisions from that place of clarity. Each time this happens, I feel more renewed and invigorated. I love helping others find paths where they think there are none, illuminate dark places to see what comes to light, maximize strengths, reconnect with the people and activities that bring them joy, and try out different ways of doing things to be more successful. If this makes for a purposeful life, then so be it. But, it’s not the reason I do it. I do it because it makes me happy.

This week, find what makes you happy in your work and do more of it. First, identify the activities that you’re passionate about and that give you energy. Then, look to see how much time you’re doing those things versus the things that feel like drudgery and take energy from you. There’s always a balance between these two, but find ways to restructure your responsibilities so you’re doing more of what makes you happy.

If you’re beating yourself up for not knowing what your life’s purpose is, just stop. Stop long enough to look out of your eyes and be present to what you’re doing right now. Does it make you happy? Does it give you energy? Do you want to do more of it? It may seem small and insignificant, but some of the smallest moments create the most memory due to their poignancy and our presence.

We all know people who live purposeful lives. It gives them energy to think about how they can continue to do good and help improve the lives of others in this world. I respect their efforts and admire their fortitude. I also know that when asked how they can sacrifice so much to help others, they often say, “It may look like they get all the benefits, but in fact, I’m the one who gets the most out of this.” It’s because what they’re doing makes them happy. And fortunately for us, it’s helping all of us as well.

Have a good week!

Kathleen

 

© Copyright 2013 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search Inc., all rights reserved.

 

2/10/13 “Remarkable Bosses”

Good day, team.

This week’s challenge comes from a previous client of mine and his long-time mentor, Roy Gardner. Roy has been a consultant, coach and mentor to many people over the years, and I appreciate his observations of what remarkable bosses do and how they act. Your challenge is embedded within the following writing excerpt from Roy. Whether it’s about forgiving and forgetting or inspiring and motivating, choose one of Roy’s suggestions to try out this week in your interactions with team members. A special thanks to Christian Buschow for sharing Roy’s wisdom.

“Good bosses look good on paper. Great bosses look great in person; their actions show their value. Yet some bosses go even farther. They’re remarkable — not because of what you see them do but what you don’t see them do. Where remarkable bosses are concerned, what you see is far from all you get: They forgive, and they forget. When an employee makes a mistake — especially a major mistake—it’s easy to forever view that employee through the perspective of that mistake.  I know.  I’ve done it. But one mistake or one weakness is just one part of the whole person. Great bosses are able to step back, set aside a mistake and think about the whole employee. Remarkable bosses are also able to forget that mistake because they know that viewing any employee through the lens of one incident may forever impact how they treat that employee. And they know the employee will be able to tell. To forgive may be divine but to forget can be even more divine.

“[Remarkable bosses] transform company goals into the employees’ personal goals. Great bosses inspire their employees to achieve company goals. Remarkable bosses make their employees feel that what they do will benefit them as much as it does the company. After all, whom will you work harder for: a company or yourself? “Whether they get professional development, an opportunity to grow, a chance to shine or a chance to flex their favorite business muscles, employees who feel a sense of personal purpose almost always outperform employees who feel a sense of company purpose. And they have a lot more fun doing it.

“Remarkable bosses know their employees well enough to tap the personal, not just the professional. They look past the action to the emotion and motivation. Sometimes employees make mistakes or simply do the wrong thing. Sometimes they take over projects or roles without approval or justification. Sometimes they jockey for position, play political games or ignore company objectives in pursuit of personal goals. When that happens it’s easy to assume they don’t listen or don’t care. But almost always there’s a deeper reason: They feel stifled, they feel they have no control, they feel marginalized or frustrated — or maybe they are just trying to find a sense of meaning in their work that pay rates and titles can never provide.

“Effective bosses deal with actions. Remarkable bosses search for the underlying issues that, when overcome, lead to much bigger change for the better. They support without seeking credit. A customer is upset. A vendor feels shortchanged. A co-worker is frustrated. Whatever the issue, good bosses support their employees. They know that to do otherwise undermines the employee’s credibility and possible authority. Afterword, most bosses will say to the employee, “Listen, I took up for you, but…” Remarkable bosses don’t say anything. They feel supporting their employees — even if that shines a negative spotlight on themselves — is the right thing to do and is therefore unremarkable. Even though we all know it isn’t.

“They make fewer public decisions. When a decision needs to be made, most of the time the best person to make that decision isn’t the boss. Most of the time the best person is the employee closest to the issue. Decisiveness is a quality of a good boss. Remarkable bosses can be decisive but often in a different way: They decide they aren’t the right person and then decide who is the right person. They do it not because they don’t want to avoid making those decisions but because they know they shouldn’t make those decisions. They don’t see control as a reward.

“Many people desperately want to be the boss, so they can finally call the shots. Remarkable bosses don’t care about control. As a result, they aren’t seen to exercise control. They’re seen as a person who helps. They allow employees to learn their own lessons. It’s easy for a boss to debrief an employee and turn a teachable moment into a lesson learned. It’s a lot harder to let employees learn their own lessons, even though the lessons we learn on our own are the lessons we remember forever.

“Remarkable bosses don’t scold or dictate; they work together with an employee to figure out what happened and what to do to correct the mistake. They help find a better way, not a disciplinary way. Great employees don’t need to be scolded or reprimanded. They know what they did wrong. Sometimes staying silent is the best way to ensure that they remember.

“[Remarkable bosses] let employees have the ideas. Years ago I worked in manufacturing and my boss sent me to help move the production control offices. It was basically manual labor, but for two days, it put me in a position to watch and hear and learn a lot about how the plant’s production flow was controlled. I found it fascinating, and later I asked my boss if I could be trained to fill in as a production clerk. Those two days sparked a lifelong interest in productivity and process improvement. Years later he admitted he sent me to help move their furniture. ‘I knew you’d go in there with your eyes wide open,’ he said, ‘and once you got a little taste I knew you’d love it.’ Remarkable bosses see the potential in their employees and find ways to let them have the ideas, even though the outcome was what they intended all along.

“Leadership is like a smorgasbord of insecurity. Remarkable bosses worry about employees and customers and results. You name it, they worry about it. That’s why remarkable bosses go home every day feeling they could have done things a little better or smarter. They wish they had treated employees with a little more sensitivity or empathy. Most important, they always go home feeling they could have done more to fulfill the trust their employees place in them. And that’s why, although you can’t see it, when they walk in the door every day remarkable bosses make a silent commitment to do their jobs even better than they did yesterday.”

Have a good week!

Kathleen

© Copyright 2013 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search Inc., all rights reserved.

 

2/3/12 “Noticing the Change of Season”

Good day, team.

Yesterday was Groundhog Day, and our weather predictor, Punxsutawney Phil, did not see his shadow. If you believe in the age-old tradition of watching the groundhog emerge from his hole for breakfast on Feb. 2 to see if he casts a shadow or not, this year we’re going to have an early spring.

My challenge this week is to take notice of the changing seasons. We often don’t tune in to the seasonal changes because our lives are so busy. We don’t rely on the heat of the sun in spring and summer to keep us warm. And when we need food, we just go to the grocery store to buy what we want. But ultimately, our warmth and our food do come from nature, and the coming of each new season is a reminder of that.

Winter is a time of dormancy and hibernation. Try leaving the cocoon of your warm bed on a dark, cold morning — every effort you make seems the opposite of what the environment is telling you to do. Conversely, try staying in bed on a bright summer morning, when the birds are singing and the earth is fully awake. It’s tough to lie in bed when you’re being encouraged to get up and do things. Mother Nature sends us very clear messages about each season, and it’s up to us to either embrace them or ignore them.

This morning, I went out for a walk on our property in the Columbia Gorge. The sun was rising from the east through fog and low clouds. It cast huge beams of radiant light across the spectacular rock face across the Columbia River. I saw a tree filled with expectant robins anxious to find some fat worms in the ground. The docile cows on our neighbors’ hill gave me a peaceful look, as if to say, “It’s a fine morning, and all’s right with the world.” Under my feet, tiny green plants were emerging, an emerald carpet stretched out before me on what was brown mud a month ago. An occasional dot of color drew my attention to an emerging wildflower. This type of moment brings me back to home base, to a place within myself where I can tune in to nature and her reminder of what’s important.

As I headed back to the house, I saw some daffodils beginning to peak out of the ground — only ¼ inch tall, but nonetheless, bright green shoots poking up from the dirt. This made me smile and reminds me of the courage these lovely flowers have each year, popping up without fear of frost or ruin from a sudden late winter storm.

Courage and boldness are what spring is all about. This is when nature says, “Be bold. Don’t be afraid to grow and flower.” It’s when all animals, birds, bugs and bees wake up and rejoice in the coming of plentiful food and more agreeable temperatures. It’s when nature encourages us to grow and expand, to create and reach out for more opportunities.

This week, observe how the energy of springtime encourages activity and boldness. Try getting out to greet what little bits of spring are beginning to emerge. In preparation for the full-blown emergence of the season, think about what you’ll do over the next few months to boldly take advantage of spring’s active energy. What may have seemed too hard to do in winter, might just seem possible with the coming of spring. How about using the vibrant energy of the season to do something you otherwise would consider risky?

Author Christopher Morley wrote,

“April prepares her green traffic light and the world thinks ‘Go.’”

Spring gives us the oomph that seems so inaccessible on a wintry day. How will you use it to enrich your life and take you beyond your limitations?

I’m not naïve enough to think that just because Punxsutawney Phil didn’t see his shadow yesterday morning, that the Pacific Northwest won’t dump more winter on us. I’ll still keep the wood stove going out at our house in the Gorge for a few more months. But the daffodils won’t retreat, and the robins won’t fly away. They know that spring is around the corner, and they will remind me that I can take advantage of the season to be bold and to revel in its beauty.

As Percy Bysshe Shelley wrote,

“And Spring arose on the garden fair,

Like the Spirit of Love felt everywhere;

And each flower and herb on Earth’s dark breast

rose from the dreams of its wintry rest.”

Have a good week!

Kathleen

© Copyright 2013 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search Inc., all rights reserved.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

1/27/13 “Clear Communication in Times of Crisis”

Good day, team,

I received a nice compliment on my blog this past week about a challenge I wrote back in 2007. After re-reading it, I want to share it with you again. Here is the challenge from 12/3/2007.

This week’s challenge comes at the request of a technology manager I work with who wanted guidance on an all-too-common scenario: How to make decisions and communicate appropriately during times of crisis and high stress.

When something goes wrong—a major server outage, a system failure, or a missed deadline—how does one explain what’s happening, attempt to fix it and respond appropriately to managers when all they want to hear is that the problem has been fixed or the deadline will be met? In such situations, pressure mounts, and pretty soon the people trying to fix the problem want to throw up their hands and say, “I quit,” while the management continues to say, “Just fix it, now!”

In times of high stress, people tend to behave in one of two ways. Some people go immediately into activation mode, that is, they jump in and attack the problem with a strong sense of urgency. Other people go immediately into analytical mode by collecting all the relevant information, analyzing the problem and only then coming up with a solution.

For example, I recently witnessed a phone outage in a call center. Some of the supervisors were immediately up out of their chairs, talking with their phone representatives, and trying to address the problem with action. Other supervisors were on their computers trying to assess the problem by reviewing the numbers, and then determining who in the command center was taking care of it and what the overall impact would be on the business.

Interestingly enough, when the phones went back up and all the supervisors met to discuss what happened, everyone had something worthwhile to contribute, both those who immediately went to their phone representatives and those who spent time analyzing the problem.

Yet the manager of the call center responded most positively to the supervisors who showed a sense of urgency. Most leaders are motivated by results and are easily frustrated by people who begin with research rather than action. I’ve heard more than one business leader say, “What’s wrong with these people? The place is falling apart, and they’re analyzing our downfall instead of turning it around!”

Clearly, telling business leaders the truth when they don’t want to hear it is daunting. Sometimes we don’t know what the problem is; other times, we can’t promise it will be fixed on schedule. Sometimes we can’t even be heard, if leaders spend most of their time trying to give sometimes ineffectual orders and definitely don’t want to hear that their directions aren’t going to be carried out.

Speaking truth to power is challenging for all of us, especially if there’s a history of negative consequences. I remember one senior director telling me, “I don’t care what the problem is, I’d much rather have them tell me the truth immediately than shy away from it and have it broadside me later. I don’t care how bad it is or how much someone screwed up: Just tell me the truth, and we’ll deal with it.” The same director, however, upon hearing that an important customer’s order had been botched threatened to fire the people responsible if it ever happened again.

The same situations can crop up in our personal lives. How many times do we shy away from tough conversations with family members or friends because we are afraid of the other person’s response? Speaking the truth to anyone is difficult; speaking the truth to those who have a say in our livelihood or whose opinion of us matters is even more challenging.

But as Winston Churchill said, “Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is what it takes to sit down and listen.” Whether we are the purveyor or the receiver of bad news, handling the truth is an act of trust. Trust is at the heart of all healthy relationships, and we cannot trust people who don’t tell us the truth or who withhold information because they’re afraid to share it.

During times of crisis, it is especially important to be honest about what we see and communicate it to the best of our ability. Conversely, we need to listen to what’s being said and honor the person saying it. The more we can lessen our resistance to the truth and remove impediments to action, the faster any crisis can be resolved.

Have a great week!

Kathleen

© Copyright 2013 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search Inc., all rights reserved.

1/20/13 “Judging a Book By It’s Cover”

Good day, team.

Right before the end of last year, I wrote a challenge titled “The Importance of Emotional Connection.” The piece focused on my experience with the surgeon and other healthcare providers when I had nose surgery right before this past Thanksgiving. This week’s challenge offers a follow-up to that piece as well as an important lesson.

You may recall that my doctor’s lack of attempt to emotionally connect with me made my surgery doubly difficult. And it wasn’t just his inability but also the lack of effort made by the nurses and other health professionals to make any sincere connection with me. When we work with others in any capacity, I think it’s important to make an effort to emotionally connect, even if it’s only to make eye contact or to ask how they’re doing. Without this connection, it’s difficult to establish trust, and without trust, it’s difficult for people to work together. In my view, it’s what my doctor needed to do to be really successful. If he continued to leave the heart out of his interactions with his patients, he wouldn’t become the compassionate healer that most of us desire in our health professionals.

Here’s how I put it in the challenge:

“For Dr. Han to really be successful, he will need to spend some time working on his emotional intelligence. He will need to learn how to connect with his patients so that he has a better understanding of how they are feeling. I don’t recommend that his empathy get in the way of his expertise but taking time to actually see the person he is treating will help him be a better doctor, a more compassionate healer and a more intuitive human being.”

Last week, I went back to see my doctor for my eight-week, follow-up appointment. As I sat in the waiting room, I prepared myself for the same experience I ‘d had at my previous visits to see him. I knew what would happen: I would walk into the examining room and wait for the doctor to come in. He would enter the room, probably shake my hand, not look me in the eye, shine a light up my nose, make some comments about my recovery, give me advice about what to do next and be gone. “It will be exactly the same,” I thought, “and probably even worse since I’m doing fine and he’s pretty much done with me. No emotional connection whatsoever. Oh well. His loss. If he doesn’t care enough to really be attentive to me or to authentically inquire about how I’m doing, too bad for him.” As I walked to the examining room, I thought, “This time I’m ready for his cold, dispassionate approach.”

And then he walked into the room.

“Hi Kathleen,” he said with a huge smile on his face. He looked me right in the eyes, walked over to me and held out his hand. As he shook my hand, his other hand reached over and patted me on the shoulder, “How are you doing? I mean, you look great … still a little swollen, but that nose is healing really well. What do you think?” Frankly, I almost fell off the stool. Was this the same guy? The cold, uncaring surgeon I had experienced was suddenly transformed into a happy, caring, approachable guy who seemed sincerely interested in what my experience had been. How could this be? I had him pegged, and now he was being just the opposite of what I had defined him to be.

Our appointment was as different this time as you could ever imagine. He asked me great questions. He listened to me and never took his eyes away from mine when I spoke. He seemed genuinely interested in how I was doing. At the end of our appointment, I believed him when he said, “I’m so glad you’re breathing better, and this is working for you. I don’t feel successful unless my patients are really happy with their results.”

As I walked out of the doctor’s office that day, I realized I had just learned a great lesson. If we’re so quick to define people by our first experiences with them, we run the risk of not noticing that they are more than that. If we put them in a box and label it “unable to emotionally connect and therefore, deficient,” as I did with my doctor, we might just leave them in that box. Then if they exhibit a different kind of behavior that’s outside of that box, we don’t see it.

By putting my doctor in a box and labeling him, I end up losing the most. My doctor is still what he is. If I only see him the way I initially defined him, then I’m the one who’s actually trapped in a box — a box labeled, “narrow-minded.” If I can’t see that he’s actually more than what my first impressions revealed, then I miss out and my narrow opinions stay intact.

This week, notice the thoughts and feelings you have about others. Are you convinced that they’re a particular way because that’s been your only experience of them? Do you believe that’s the only way they’ll ever be? Are you unable to see that most people have lots of different behaviors and states of mind and heart, depending on their day, their stress level, their own experiences? What would you need to do to be able to look at someone anew?

The irony of the situation with my surgeon was not lost on me. By being so quick to define my doctor as lacking in emotional intelligence, I lacked the ability to see him differently and ran the risk of shutting down my own emotional intelligence in the process.

This week, try seeing your co-workers, friends and family members with an open mind and heart. Try not to keep them in small boxes with big labels convincing you that your opinions and observations are correct. Think about how frustrating it is when you’ve worked hard to change some of your own behaviors and others don’t recognize those changes. How does it make you feel when you know someone judges and then labels you as being only one way when you know you’re capable of being many ways, depending on the situation?

Fortunately, my doctor shocked me with his friendly, warm and emotionally connected behavior last week. That shock woke me up and helped me to respond to him in the moment, rather than only seeing him as I saw him before. As my mother used to say, “Never judge a book by its cover.” I used to think she told me that because it would be unfair to the person I was judging. Now, I know that the person who really loses in that situation is me. By judging the book by its cover, you never open the book to read it — and that’s where the real story begins.

Have a good week!

Kathleen

 

© Copyright 2013 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search Inc., all rights reserved.

The 1/13/13 “Who’s your customer?”

Good day, team.

This week’s challenge is about the importance of focusing on your customer. “Customer” comes from Middle English and is defined as “a person who purchases goods or services from another.” The Middle English word is derived from the Latin word consuescere, which means “to accustom,” and the Medieval Latin custumarius or custom means “a usage or practice common to many.”

From these definitions, we can see that the word “customer” comes from customizing a good or a service that someone else wants to buy. If you go into a store, for example, and you don’t see anything you want, then you won’t buy anything. But if you see something that has been customized for you, made specifically based on your needs or wants, then chances are good that you’ll buy it and become a customer.

These definitions seem simple to understand, and yet, we forget what we’re actually in business for: to serve our customers.

I frequently see teams that are working diligently to meet deadlines and to “get stuff done”, but forget to ask the fundamental question, “How does this serve my customers?” We often get so focused on our deliverables, our design, and our specific part of the project that we forget to look beyond our day-to-day tasks to see if what we’re doing is actually satisfying the customer.

When was the last time you sat in a weekly staff meeting and talked about how you recently gave customers exactly what they wanted or needed? Generally, meetings are all about where you stand with the current project, what you’re doing to get your part done, and what’s preventing the team from moving forward.

At some companies, it’s rare when a customer is mentioned in a staff meeting. In fact, some of the managers I’ve worked with are more concerned with their competitors than they are with their customers and ignorant or confused about precisely who their customers are. Consequently, people work on projects and deliver product designs that miss the mark. They aren’t what the customer wants.

“When you obsess about the customer, you end up defeating your competition as a byproduct,” said K.R. Sridhar, the founder of Bloom Energy, a fuel-cell company. “When you are just obsessed about the competition, you end up killing yourself … because you are not focused on the customer.”

It is all too easy to become so busy that we lose sight of what’s most important. We can’t see the forest for the trees. And while we’re busy with our heads down getting stuff done, customers may have changed their minds, become dissatisfied with our lack of customer service and support, or developed a preference for a competitor’s product. All of these things can happen when we don’t regularly remind ourselves that the very reason we’re in business is to serve the needs of our customers.

This week, assess the degree to which your team is focused on the customer. Find out if your team members are able to connect what they’re doing – daily, weekly and monthly – with the company’s fundamental need to deliver customer value. If they’re not and they’ve lost sight of what’s most important to your business, then spend some time to help them realign. Take time to educate your staff members about how their piece of the pie becomes part of the whole. Help them see how what they do has a direct impact on the customer.

Find ways to figure out what your customers really want and communicate that to your employees. If you haven’t talked to your customers within the past three months, make it a practice to inquire about whether they’re getting added value from your product or service. Direct customer feedback gives you an opportunity to discover what’s working and what isn’t and to gather new ideas for future product enhancements. Some of the best new ideas come from the users themselves. And most customers love the connection you provide when you call them directly. It makes them feel appreciated — because they are!

Take a lesson from Jeff Bezos, CEO of Amazon: “We see our customers as invited guests to a party, and we are the hosts. It’s our job every day to make every important aspect of the customer experience a little bit better.”

Have a good week,

 

Kathleen

 

© Copyright 2013 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search Inc., all rights reserved.

 

 

 

 

 

1/6/13 “Resolutions”

Good day, team.

It is the start of 2013 and a wonderful time to begin anew. Many of us come up with similar New Year’s resolutions. We resolve to exercise more, eat better, keep our weight under control, be more organized, reach out to family and friends more often, etc. The list is endless. These types of resolutions are often not the hardest for me to keep throughout the year. I actually resolve to do these things daily, and I have more or less success with them, depending on how much self-discipline I can muster.

This year, I thought I’d make a deeper inquiry into what I’m holding onto from the year before that is particularly difficult to let go of or change. What behaviors am I continuing that prevent me from being healthier physically and psychologically? What attitudes am I harboring that prevent me from moving forward or seeing something differently? What prevents me from experiencing the peace and freedom that is inherent in my heart?

The resolutions that I find especially hard to keep have to do with forgiveness, loving kindness and peace. These three states of mind and heart seem to be challenged most often in our interactions with others.

Unfortunately, it’s not difficult to recall a few heinous crimes that occurred over the past several months and that lead to the deaths of children and adults at the hands of young men. How do we forgive the young men who perpetrated these crimes? Where is our ability to transform our anger, our resentment and our fear? As Albert Camus wrote, “We all carry within us our places of exile, our crimes, our ravages. Our task is not to unleash them on the world; it is to transform them in ourselves and others.” Forgiveness releases the forgiver from resentment and fear. It allows the forgiver to transform the negativity and restore peace and love into his or her heart. As for the forgiven, the miracle of redemption is possible. Offering another person the time and space to change, to turn evil deeds into noble ones, is the true result of forgiveness. No matter how extreme the circumstances, a transformation of the heart is possible.

One of my favorite stories about forgiveness comes from Roberto De Vicenzo, the famous Argentine golfer, who upon winning a tournament received a large check for his victory. After receiving the check and smiling for the cameras at the clubhouse, he walked alone to his car in the parking lot. There, a young woman approached him. She congratulated him on his victory and then told him that her child was seriously ill and near death.

De Vicenzo was touched by her story and took out a pen and endorsed his winning check for payment to the woman. “Make some good days for the baby,” he said as he pressed the check into her hand.

The next week, he was having lunch in a country club when a PGA official came to his table. “Some of the guys in the parking lot last week told me you met a young woman there after you won the tournament.” De Vicenzo nodded. “Well,” said the official, “I have news for you. She’s a phony. She’s not married. She has no sick baby. She fleeced you, my friend.”

“You mean there is no baby who is dying?” said De Vincenzo.

“That’s right.”

“That’s the best news I’ve heard all week,” said De Vincenzo.

By forgiving the thief and remembering what was most important, De Vincenzo shows us the greatness of his heart.

One of the biggest blocks to loving kindness is our own sense of unworthiness. If we leave ourselves out of the circle of love and compassion, we have misunderstood. The Buddha said, “You can search the whole universe and not find a single being more worthy of love than yourself. Since each and every person is so precious to themselves, let the self-respecting harm no other being.

It starts with cultivating loving kindness toward ourselves — free of judgment and self-deprecation. This then becomes the foundation for experiencing loving kindness toward others. Each day, I try to make an effort to help another. Sometimes I stop at an intersection to allow a pedestrian or bicyclist to go before me. Other times, I hold the door open for someone or give a checkout clerk a smile at the grocery store. What prevents me from doing these small kindnesses? Usually, I’m in a hurry or too self-absorbed with my worries.

Mother Theresa once said, “I never look at the masses as my responsibility. I look at the individual. I can only love one person at a time. I can only feed one person at a time. Just one, just one … So you begin — I begin. I picked up one person — maybe if I didn’t pick up that one person, I wouldn’t have picked up 42,000. The whole work is only a drop in the ocean. But if I didn’t put that drop in, the ocean would be one drop less. Same thing for you, same thing in your family, same thing in your community, where you live. Just begin … one, one, one.”

Finding peace means surrendering our illusions of control. Human beings are constantly in combat — at war to escape the limitations of circumstances we cannot control. We fight against evil, we fight for good, we fight to maintain, we fight to win. We courageously wage war over what’s right and what’s wrong. Even when we work too hard to be good, we can lose our inner peace and tranquility.

Thomas Merton wrote, “To allow oneself to be carried away by a multitude of conflicting concerns, to surrender to too many demands, to commit oneself to too many projects, to want to help everyone in everything is to succumb to the violence of our times.

I try to take peace as my responsibility. Only I can affect the quality of my inner state and when I’m feeling peaceful, there is a greater possibility that I’ll project that peace onto others. I often ask myself, “What do I have to let go of to be at peace right now?” The renowned Buddhist teacher, Jack Kornfield wrote,

“If you put a spoonful of salt

in a cup of water

it tastes very salty.

If you put a spoonful of salt

in a lake of fresh water

the taste is still pure and clean.

 

Peace comes when our hearts are

open like the sky,

vast as the ocean.”

This week, explore these three qualities of forgiveness, loving kindness and peace. Which one challenges you most? What kind of attention will make it more of a reality in your life? Are you willing to think that peace is possible for you? Is there something you can do in this moment to extend your loving kindness to another? Are you cultivating forgiveness in your heart by letting go of hate and resentment? What can you do this week to let go of last year’s baggage that prevents you from experiencing these qualities?

Life changes unexpectedly. Although events can be difficult, I know the key to my happiness lies in how I respond to them. With forgiveness, loving kindness and peace, I have a better chance of allowing life to be as it is while I remain gathered in my inner strength and compassion.

Have a good week!

Kathleen

Many of the quotes in this week’s challenge came from a wonderful little book titled “The Art of Forgiveness, Loving Kindness and Peace” by Jack Kornfield. I am grateful to him for compiling such wisdom.

 

© Copyright 2013 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search Inc., all rights reserved.

 

 

 

12/9/12 “Wise Owl”

Good day, team.

As often happens this time of year, I find myself winding down and rushing to get things done, all at the same time. The holidays are filled with lots of obligations, events and chores. And yet, the short days, lingering darkness and pending end of the year all signal that it’s time to rest, retreat and recuperate. It’s a mixed message at best.

Yesterday, I was perusing some older coach’s challenges and found this lovely gem from 2004. It’s as relevant today as it was then, so I thought I’d share it with you as the last challenge of 2012. It’s a great reminder to greet the moments in our lives as they come rather than constantly rushing through them. I have added a recent experience from last week while walking through the park to illustrate my point.

From the coach’s challenge written July 6, 2004:

The coach’s challenge for this week is to not rush through things. We all seem to have too much to do. Each day brings myriad tasks. Our tendency is to rush though things to get them all done by the end of the day. But, when we do that, we often feel exhausted and unsatisfied by the experience. Our challenge is to try not to be overwhelmed by the amount of things that need to get done, but to take each thing as it comes and be present with it. I often tell myself, “Do only what’s directly in front of you.” That is, stop worrying about all the other things that need to get done and stick with what needs to happen in this moment.

I’ve noticed that I’m kind of addicted to the fast-paced, multitasking, rush-around lifestyle. It makes me feel useful and significant. And yet, nothing wears me down faster than this frenzied activity. It takes discipline for me to slow down and smell the roses, so to speak. But when I do, I am so much happier.

Just the other morning on my walk through the park, I rushed along worrying about a meeting I had scheduled for later that afternoon, when I realized what a beautiful day it was. A wispy layer of fog rose from the ground, giving the surrounding landscape a luminous quality as it gave way to light emerging through the trees and shrubs. Up in a tree, not more than 10 feet from me, I saw an owl. I stopped. Beautiful in it’s arrangement of brown and white feathers, the owl looked right at me as if to say, “What are you in such a hurry about?” I continued to stand there for many minutes. While we observed each other, many other sights and sounds came into view. There was quite a cacophony of bird songs, rustling leaves and dogs barking in the distance. Gosh, I thought, if I’d just kept rushing along I would have missed all of this — including this wise owl.

This week, take some time to notice all that’s right in front of you. Don’t let yourself miss the life that’s presenting itself to you. An appropriate saying from the Amish goes like this: “It’s not rushing through tasks to achieve a series of goals that is satisfying; it’s experiencing each moment along the way.”

Have a great week, and Happy Holidays to you all! The next challenge will be published on Jan. 6, 2013.

Kathleen

© Copyright 2012 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search Inc., all rights reserved.

12/2/12 “Emotional Connection”

Good day, team.

This week’s challenge is about the benefits of being able to emotionally connect with others. The following experience illustrates my subject this week.

 

Almost two weeks ago, I had surgery on my nose again. When I fell down the stairs a year ago, the emergency room surgeon did a superb job of putting my face back together. But after a year of healing, it became obvious that my nose was still not right and my ability to breathe was still impaired. My otolaryngologist (a fancy name for an ear, nose and throat specialist) and I determined that it was time for me to see a nose surgeon who could rebuild my nose.

 

I was apprehensive about this entire experience. After a year of healing, the last thing I wanted was to have surgery again. I discovered that the memory of something held in the mind is different than the memory of something held in the body. As I walked into the surgeon’s office for the first time, I found myself shaking like a leaf in a strong wind. A year seemed like plenty of time to recover mentally, but in my body, the memories of surgical procedures and trauma were still way too vivid, and the idea that I would subject myself to going under the knife voluntarily was frightening. “This is the right thing to do,” I tried to persuade myself. After filling out forms and a brief wait, I was ushered back into a spotless examination room where there were pictures of noses at various stages of rhinoplasty. (Did they have to name this surgical procedure after the rhinoceros?)

 

A kind, young gentlemen took my blood pressure and temperature, asked if I was allergic to any drugs, talked about the coming rainy season in Portland, and then asked if I had any questions. I was still trying to calm my nerves. “Well, no. I mean, I guess I just need to see the doctor to find out more.” He smiled, assured me that my doctor was quite simply the best at this kind of thing and left the room.

 

Geez, I thought. Why didn’t I ask any questions? I had a million questions and no questions, all at the same time. Frankly, I was just scared, and in that state, my ability to think of good questions was unavailable. The questions were in my mind somewhere, but at the moment, I couldn’t access them.

 

Shortly thereafter, a young, nattily dressed young man came swiftly into the room. He held out his hand. “Good morning. My name is Dr. Han, and I will be your surgeon.” I shook his hand quickly as he sat on the little black stool in front of my chair. A nurse came in and immediately walked to a computer that was off to the side. “Let’s see what we’ve got here,” he said and shined a tiny light up my nose. As he rattled off anatomical terms, the nurse typed furiously at the keyboard, and I realized that neither of these people had really made any connection with me at all. Dr. Han exchanged about two seconds of eye contact with me and shook my hand quickly and efficiently as he moved into examination mode, and the nurse acted as though I wasn’t even in the room. She was just the note-taker. Nothing was assuaging my fear, and in fact, I began to wonder if I really wanted someone who wasn’t taking time to know me to reconstruct something as important my nose, let alone operate on my face!

 

After five minutes of examination, Dr. Han proceeded to tell me what he would do to fix my nose. He was matter of fact in his description, and as he spoke, I realized again that although he was looking at me, he still didn’t see me. “Do you have any questions?” he asked. Again, I couldn’t access my thoughts. “Well, how long do you think it will take?” was about all I could muster, and before I knew it, he ushered me into another room where he took pictures of my nose with his camera. It seemed like he was more comfortable holding the camera up between the two of us. “Turn your face a little to the left,” he said. “That’s good.” I began to feel encouraged that perhaps he would make a more authentic connection with me if we weren’t nose to nose, so to speak. I mean, surgeons aren’t trained in emotional intelligence. They have too many other things they need to learn about surgery and medicine, right? So, perhaps he’s just shy and hiding behind the camera gives him some distance to make him feel more comfortable. I knew this would be over in a few minutes, and I still had so many questions. Mostly, what I needed was reassurance from him. I needed him to sincerely look me in the eye and ask me how I was doing. Mostly, I needed to be able to trust him, and I knew that it wouldn’t happen unless he could authentically respond from his heart.

 

“Can I ask you a personal question?” I asked. “Sure,” he responded, giving me an anxious look as color rose to his cheeks. “What is your suit made out of? I mean, it’s really beautiful fabric.” What was I saying? The minute the words came out of my mouth, I was aghast that I asked such a dumb question. He immediately rolled back on the portable stool and answered, “Oh, I don’t know, probably some kind of linen and silk.” He looked at me like I was some kind of lunatic. “Can I touch it?” Oh God, what was I doing? Reluctantly, he rolled forward slightly and held out his arm. I gingerly touched his sleeve with my fingertips. “Oh, that’s very nice.” I said. He gave me a cautious glance as he immediately stood up and left the room.

 

I sat there by myself in the darkened photography room. How could I have done such a stupid thing? He probably thinks I’m one of those desperate older women who prey on young reconstructive surgeons to help them recapture some long lost youthful beauty through surgery. Somewhere in my heart, I knew that my inquiry into his wardrobe was a veiled attempt to get closer to him. Maybe if I could reach out and touch him, he would be willing to make a more profound connection with me.

 

The note-taking nurse came in and without looking at me, asked if I had any more questions. My mind was blank. My heart was filled with angst. My adrenal glands were still pumping fear into my veins. I wanted to cry. “Nope,” I said. “I’m fine.”

 

On Thanksgiving morning, 24 hours after my surgery, my cell phone rang. I was too tired and nauseous to pick it up. Later that day, I listened to a voicemail from my doctor. “Hello, this is Dr. Han calling to see how my patient is doing. I hope you’re doing all right today after your surgery and have a Happy Thanksgiving. Please don’t hesitate to call me if you have any questions.” That’s nice, I thought, the surgeon took the time on a holiday to call to see how I was doing.

 

Looking back, this entire experience reminded me of the importance of developing emotional skills, or as we have learned to call it, emotional intelligence. What a difference it would have made if Dr. Han had held my hand for a brief second longer in that first handshake, looked me in the eyes and asked, “How are you doing?” before he launched into his examination. How much better would my experience have been if the note-taking nurse had taken a moment to connect with me to discover how I was feeling in that moment when she entered the photography room? Would I have felt better the next morning as they were preparing me for surgery because she showed some care and empathy for what I was about to endure? What about the admitting nurse who asked me for the umpteenth time if I was allergic to any drugs? What if she had stopped for a moment, taken my hand and asked if I was doing OK?

 

I recently was asked by a private college in Portland to volunteer for its new leadership program. They asked various local business leaders and professionals to coach a few students for a year in management and leadership skills. The focus would be on soft skills development. When they asked me on the introductory form to write a few words about why I think it’s important for a liberal arts–based educational institution to focus on teaching students about leadership, I wrote, “All too often, I have seen people who excel in their specific area of expertise — i.e, accounting, engineering, programming, etc. — get promoted into management positions only to see them fail, miserably. They are promoted because they are the best at what they do but have had no training in managing people, in leadership principals, in soft skills development. It’s like a computer that has great hardware and no software. They don’t have skills that help them increase their self-awareness or that allow them to connect with, inspire, persuade and encourage others. They are good at giving instructions but have no skills in coaching and mentoring others.”

 

And so it is with Dr. Han. I have no doubt that he has all the surgical skills I could ever need, and I am grateful for that. In fact, I wouldn’t want Dr. Han to replace one moment of his surgical expertise with an emotional outburst in the middle of my surgery. In that moment, all of his training and surgical skills are most appropriate. But for Dr. Han to really be successful, he will need to spend some time working on his emotional intelligence. He will need to learn how to connect with his patients so that he has a better understanding of how they are feeling. I don’t recommend that his empathy get in the way of his expertise but taking time to actually see the person he is treating will help him be a better doctor, a more compassionate healer and a more intuitive human being.

 

This week, spend some time focusing on your soft skills. If you’re going to have a difficult meeting with someone, rather than rush to get your point across, why not start by checking in with the other person to find out how he or she is doing? Make room for some small talk, if you can. It tends to level the playing field in a conversation when participants can connect emotionally first and then get into the facts. How about spending some quality time with your kids? Instead of getting home from work and giving your spouse and kids the obligatory “Hi” and a peck on the cheek, how about taking a moment to look them in the eyes and have an authentically intimate moment? Kids are great at giving in to the moment and are often brimming over with love and affection — which they love to share.

 

What about sharing performance information with team members? If you’re their manager, rather than telling them what you observe, how about asking them what they think first? How do they think it went? What was their experience? Rather than accomplishing your agenda of giving feedback, how about discussing their observations first? How about starting off a performance review by first observing the uncomfortableness of this kind of meeting for both of you and then asking how the person is doing? What stood out when writing the self-review and has anything come up that he or she wants to share before you talk about your observations? Or, how about when a team member is having trouble, are you willing to pay attention to them, to really listen while they speak?

 

In writing this challenge, I’ve been thinking about the times in my life when a truly authentic, emotional connection was made between me and another person. I’m happy to say, many memories come to mind. But one in particular stands out. My good friend Kate had a wonderful dog named Yuba for many years. Yuba was a big, scary-looking German shepherd who had a heart of gold. Every time I visited Kate, Yuba would bark and rush to the door to let everyone know I was coming. Upon opening the door, he would be right in my face, tail wagging, barking, barking, until I reached out and put my hand on his head. As I scratched his ears and told him how glad I was to see him, Yuba would quiet himself and really look at me. Eyeball to eyeball, heart to heart, soul to soul. In those moments of loving eye contact, Yuba let me know with his whole being that he was glad to see me. “I’m here for you,” he would say, “right here.”

 

This week, take a lesson from Yuba. Take the time to connect, open your heart, and trust that the person you’re looking at is worth your whole attention. It’s worth everything.

 

Have a good week!

 

Kathleen

 

© Copyright 2012 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search Inc., all rights reserved.