9/6/10 “Acknowledgement”

Good day team,

In pursuing the challenge archives this past week, I found one written in October of
2004 by my sometimes associate and coach extraordinaire, Kate Dwyer. Here it is:

This week’s coach’s challenge is to “celebrate what you want to see more
of”. Throughout the work week, we often witness each other making an effort that
goes above and beyond the usual standard of a job description. It may be
a small gesture (over in a heart beat) or it may be one of those bigger,
more heroic gestures that makes that person’s day much more challenging. Regardless
of the size of the effort, we see someone take an extra step or a giant step
on behalf of the whole. Part of great leadership is noticing, and acknowledging.

We all have lots of good reasons we don’t give that most rare reward, acknowledgement.
Perhaps we have a meeting to go to, or we don’t want a compliment to go to
someone’s head. Maybe we’re concerned they won’t like being the center of attention,
or we think they’re too busy right now. The bottom line is we miss an opportunity
to celebrate great work.

This week, aim for giving more mini doses of positive feedback right when you notice
things, in the moment. Monthly one-on-ones,  annual reviews, scorecards or
periodic evaluations are all valuable formats for giving organized feedback,
but they’re not going to put the spring in our step that makes a work day
fly by. What gives us that extra boost is knowing that the people we work
with pay attention to what we do well. Acknowledging great work, however
small, inspires ownership, quality, and endurance.

“Correction does much, but encouragement does more.” Johann Goethe

“Celebrate what you want to see more of.”  Thomas J Peters

Have a good week-

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

© Copyright 2010 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights
reserved.

8/30/10 “Wealth”

Good day, team,

This week I had an unusual experience that is the basis for the coach’s challenge.

Mid-week I traveled to southern California to work with a client company. When I arrived at the Residence Inn where I was staying, I was informed that they were overbooked. I could tell that the clerk at the front desk was embarrassed as he handed me a letter stating that they were sorry about the inconvenience, but would pay for me to stay at another Marriott not far from their hotel.

I had already had a long day. It was 102 degrees outside, and I had just walked a fair distance with my briefcase and roller bag. As I walked back to my rental car, I thought, “Wait a minute, I don’t want to go to a different hotel.” I noticed the letter had been signed by the Residence Inn manager and included his phone number. I called him and asked, “What gives? I’m a Marriott Rewards member, and this has never happened to me before.” To his credit, he asked if I was still at the hotel and then came out to meet me, shook my hand and apologized.

After explaining why this had happened, he asked if he could give me 10,000 Marriott Rewards bonus points and pay for me to stay across the street at The Four Seasons. I was shocked. Having known The Four Seasons in San Francisco, I was amazed that I was being sent to a 5-star hotel for free and immediately said yes.

As I pulled up to The Four Seasons,  I saw a Rolls Royce and a Ferrari parked at the entrance. I suddenly wasn’t sure if I was going to be high falutin enough to stay here. But I parked my car and entered through the front sliding doors, immediately greeted by four doormen falling all over themselves to offer me assistance. When I went to the front desk and presented my letter from the manager of the Residence Inn requesting that they give me a room and breakfast at his expense, I was treated like a queen. It was as if they couldn’t do enough for me. After the desk clerk explained where the bar and restaurant were and gave me a full description of the hotel spa—”the largest hotel spa in California,” he said proudly—I wandered though the expansive lobby to the elevators and ascended to the right floor.

Upon entering my room, I was immediately impressed by the original art on the walls, comfy furniture, huge bed, marble floors, giant bathtub and double shower, phone in the loo, gorgeous silk drapery, and especially the quiet. It was oh, soooo quiet.

“I could get used to this,” I thought and immediately changed into my swimsuit so I could go for a dip in the pool. As I passed the mirrored doors on the closet, I caught a glimpse and realized that my faithful old Speedo was looking pretty ragged. Was it going to be good enough for the pool scene at The Four Seasons? Oh well, I thought. The body in the suit is pretty old and faithful too, and it’s probably not Four Seasons material either, but we’ve got what we’ve got and off I went.

I got lost trying to find the outdoor pool in the maze of the largest hotel spa in California, but when I got there, I was relieved to see only a half dozen people including two pool attendants. No one seemed to be interested in what I was doing or wearing, so I gleefully jumped into the pool, swam 10 glorious laps and plopped myself down on a lounge chair to take in the last rays of sun on a blazing hot day.

Lying there, I couldn’t help but overhear what the pool attendants were saying. “What a gig this is, man. We get paid to do almost nothing except set up lounge chairs with pillows and extra large towels for the guests, serve them drinks, and make sure they know where the bathrooms are. And there’s hardly anyone here, so it’s easy to just listen to my i-Pod, or text my friends or hang out. Pretty cool!”

The other attendant replied, “Yeah, it’s a far cry from what’s happening in Pakistan, I mean, there was this picture in the paper today of these people who were just on their knees praying that someone would give them some rice or anything to eat. And when I think of the food this hotel throws away every day, it seems crazy to me that some people have so much and some have so little.”

I pondered their comments and realized that something in me has never been comfortable with excess. I was certainly enjoying the lap of luxury I had been dropped into, but I also realized that I’m perfectly content with far less and in some ways, enjoy making the most of what I have. I feel very lucky about all the abundance in my life, and as much as I appreciate the finer things in life, I don’t really need them to feel content. In fact, I felt a little uncomfortable with all the excess I saw around me. I could also see that I had been given an opportunity to enjoy these finer things for one brief period of time, and I was grateful for it. Life bestows gifts upon us when we least expect them, and we ought to feel very grateful for them when they happen.

This week, see where your life is abundant. Do you often wish that you had more? Do you feel that your life is more about scarcity rather than abundance? What are the little things in your life that make you really happy? Are you constantly striving for something better, something finer, something different? Are you grateful for what you have?

We do live in the richest country in the world, and there’s no doubt that we have more than most. But if we can’t appreciate what we have, then we live like emotional paupers. Craving is a sickness that breeds unhappiness and greed and can turn the most blessed person into a beggar.

There’s nothing sweeter than seeing someone appreciate just what they have. Consider that sweetness and try experiencing some of it this week.

Have a good week!

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White

Pathfinders Coaching

(503) 296-9249

© Copyright 2010 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights reserved.

to feel very grateful for them when they happen. This week, see where your life is abundant. Do you often wish that you had more? Do you feel that your life is more about scarcity rather than abundance? What are the little things in your life that make you really happy? Are you constantly striving for something better, something finer, something different? Are you grateful for what you have? We do live in the richest country in the world, and there’s no doubt that we have more than most. But if we can’t appreciate what we have, then we live like emotional paupers. Craving is a sickness that breeds unhappiness and greed and can turn the most blessed person into a beggar. There’s nothing sweeter than seeing someone appreciate just what they have. Consider that sweetness and try experiencing some of it this week. Have a good week! Kathleen Kathleen Doyle-White Pathfinders Coaching (503) 296-9249 © Copyright 2010 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights reserved.

(more…) “8/30/10 “Wealth””

8/23/10 “Blame”

Good Day Team,

The subject of this week’s challenge is “blame”. As you may remember, I have sent this challenge out about every six months since I started writing the challenge.  Blaming others is so prevalent that I find it useful to remind myself and others what a waste of time and energy it is.

The definition of blame is, an expression of disapproval or reproach. It usually involves one person disapproving of what another person is saying or doing. Blame often goes beyond the disapproval stage and becomes a judgment or opinion on the part of the person who is blaming. It is then left to the person being blamed to respond in some way. Their response is often negative, since  none of us enjoy being disapproved of or being seen as having done something wrong.

In “The Four Agreements” , Don Miguel Ruiz, the author, has a wonderful way of addressing blame. He writes, ‘the biggest assumption that humans make is that everyone sees life the way we do. We assume that others think the way we think, feel the way we feel, judge the way we judge, and abuse the way we abuse. We are afraid to be ourselves around others because we think others will judge us, victimize us, abuse us, and blame us as we do ourselves.”

We can see that blame arises when we take things personally and then make assumptions about others. This week, try seeing blame when it arises in you and then try not to project it out onto others. When we realize that nothing good comes from blame and that no one, including ourselves, enjoys the experience, we can have an incentive to catch blame and stop it before it becomes our reality.

“People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are they who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can’t find them, make them.” George Bernard Shaw

Have a great week!

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

© Copyright 2010 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights
reserved.

8/16/10 “Wisdom”

Good day, team,

This week’s challenge comes from a graduation card that I saw in a store today.  It’s such good advice, I thought I’d share it.

Wisdom for a Good Life:

As you
go out
to remake
the world,
I offer
the following
bits of wisdom—
keep learning,
stay awake
to amazement,
be kind
rather
than right.
And remember,
while you
might not
agree
with this now,
being loved
is
better
than being
rich.

—Lisa Rice Wheeler

Have a good week!

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

© Copyright 2010 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights reserved.

8/9/10 “Learning”

Good day, team,

This week’s challenge is about learning and appreciating the variety

of ways people learn and understand things.

Last week, my husband sent me this paragraph from a great article he

read that touches on this subject. It’s by Pete Warden @typepad.com

from his article “Harness the Power of Being an Idiot”:

“I learn by trying to build something; there’s no other way I can

discover the devils-in-the-details. Unfortunately that’s an incredibly

inefficient way to gain knowledge. I basically wander around stepping on

every rake in the grass, while the A students memorize someone else’s

route and carefully pick their way across the lawn without incident. My

only saving graces are that every now and again I discover a better

path, and, faced with a completely new lawn, I have an instinct for where

the rakes are.”

I find that I learn in much the same way. I recall my high school algebra teacher,

Mr. Johnson, trying to explain the concept of A + B = C to me without success.

He finally sat me down at a desk with 3 different sized boxes and encouraged me

to move them around and assign different values to them. Only then did I begin

to understand the concept.

If Mr. Johnson hadn’t taken the time to try to discover how I learn, I might have

failed my course. And, more importantly, I might never have discovered

how I learn. It’s a real eye-opener to realize that not everyone learns in

the same way. I have had clients, for example, who have suffered from dyslexia

or some other learning disability, and because the way they learn is not readily

accepted, they struggle for many years in school. Making the discovery of

how they learn and adjusting the way they take in information is very liberating

for them.

There’s no doubt that the best computer applications are written by

software designers who take the time to understand how their users learn and

experience their products. Don’t we all want technology that easy to understand

and use?

Your challenge this week is to think about how you and others learn. Do you

take in information and easily find ways to apply it without a lot of show and

tell? Maybe you learn by participation like I do: I have to be

actively involved with the thing I’m learning or participating with

others in an active exchange of ideas to increase my understanding.

Some people memorize information easily and can immediately come up with

the right answers from their vast storehouse of facts and figures.

They learn by lots of input and can often recall all that information at

a moment’s notice. And then there are people who learn things through

their senses and experience the world through sight, sound and touch.

Take a master cooking class sometime, and you’ll discover what I mean.

Most master chefs don’t measure, and they don’t read recipes: They cook

by taste and feel.

If you’re trying to explain something to other people, don’t be afraid to ask

them if they understand you. And don’t be surprised if they take in the same

information in a completely different way. There are as many ways to learn

as there are ideas, and no one way is better than another. Assuming that

we all learn in a similar fashion is one of the unfortunate characteristics of

most educational systems, and when you find a teacher or manager who takes

the time to help you discover how you like to learn, a whole new world opens

up to you.

This week, try exploring how we learn. You might just learn something new!

Have a good week,

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White

Pathfinders Coaching

(503) 296-9249

© Copyright 2010 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights

reserved.

8/2/10 “Negativity”

Good day, team,

This week’s challenge is about resisting the power of negativity.

Over the past few months, I have noticed how difficult it is to stay positive in the midst of negativity. There are certainly a myriad of daunting circumstances: natural or man-made disasters, e.g., Haiti’s devastation and the BP oil spill; the almost complete collapse of our monetary system and the resulting recession or depression; the incessant arguing that goes on among our politicians,  and the high unemployment rate. Wherever we look, there seems to be plenty to complain about.

Becoming part of the negativity—blaming, arguing and acting out in ways that do not serve ourselves or others—is not the answer. But there are times lately when I feel as though Darth Vader is invading my space: I can hear his heavy breathing next to me; I’m being lured to come over to the dark side.

These are challenging moments. There are times when I want badly to agree with a client who says, “My job sucks, no one appreciates me, and my boss is a loser.” And yet I know that the boss isn’t really a loser. Maybe he or she just did something badly or took a course of action my client didn’t agree with. Whatever the case, the negative attitude that my client holds is certainly not helping, but in the moment of frustration, something in me understands and wants to go along with it.

And therein lies much of the challenge that comes with being a coach. It’s not my job to agree or disagree with my clients, but to help them look at situations from another point of view, so they can see that their boss didn’t wake up that morning deciding to make a mistake, much less intending for things to go awry.

Perhaps because the media focuses so much on what’s wrong in the world, it’s harder to believe that almost all humans want good things for themselves and others. If we sat around the campfire every evening and shared stories about how people had done incredibly beautiful and brilliant things for each other rather than watching the nightly news report or reading the latest news blog, we might find it easier to assume positive intent.

At the heart of this discussion is the matter of trust: trust in others, trust in the universe, trust in your fate. And maybe the reason we’re seeing this pervasive negativity is because, for many people on the planet, it’s a hard time to trust.  Somehow, the rules changed in the past decade, and we’re not at all sure what’s at the end of the rainbow anymore. If it is a pot of gold, we’re not even sure what that gold will be worth when we find it.

Many of the things we thought we were moving toward don’t seem to be possible anymore, or if they are possible, they don’t look so attractive. It used to be that owning a home, having a good job and raising a family were considered the keys to happiness. Now, experiencing home foreclosures, the instability of any corporation and the jobs it creates or reduces, and the enormous cost of raising children and their education, many people are not so sure whether these are still the fixtures of the good life.

So here’s your challenge this week. Realize that negativity, doubt and lack of trust are extremely powerful. Resolve not to feed them. When you find yourself suspecting another person’s intentions, try seeing that person from a different point of view. If you have your suspicions, try not to share them with others. Negativity is contagious, and one doubtful thought can infect an entire team, even an entire organization.

Think of all the times you’ve had the best of intentions, yet could not control the outcome, and in the end things went wrong. Remember what it was like when a friend who saw you go through this failure forgave you and had faith in you the next time you tried to get it right. Find that place within you that knows how little control we actually have over external circumstances. Give others the benefit of the doubt and be willing to respect them. That’s what the word really means: To re (do again) spect (from the same root as “spectacle,” to see) implies the willingness to see someone again, and hopefully in a new light.

I am encouraged knowing that we move into the light by being more truthful and transparent. Frankly, I would rather be holding my light saber up to Darth Vader than acting as though he doesn’t exist.  I also know that I hold all colors of the rainbow within me, whether they be in light or shadow. Appreciating them in myself and others: Aye, that’s the challenge!

Have a good week,

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

© Copyright 2010 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights reserved.

7/26/10 “Capable”

Good day, team,

This week’s challenge comes from my good friend and former client Jan
Foster.  It’s a poem for all the capable people out there who every once
in awhile dream about being irresponsible, unpredictable and a little
bit bad. Your challenge is to do as the poem suggests: Appreciate
yourself for being so capable or try being a little incapable this
week and see how that feels!

A Prayer for the Capable

And as you stand there
On time and
Appropriately clad for the event
With a high-fiber bar in your bag
And extra pens
Let us take this moment to applaud you.

You, the prepared.
You, the accomplished.
You, the bills-paid-on-time and the-taxes-done-in-March.

You, who always returns the shopping cart.
You, who never throws a tantrum.

While the moody, the irresponsible, the near-hysterical and the rude seem to get
All the attention
Let us now praise you.

Just because everyone always expects you
To do well
Does not make it any less remarkable
That you always do so well.

So thank you.

For picking up the slack
For not imposing
For being so kind
And mannerly
And attending to all those pesky details.

Thank you for your consideration
Your generosity
For always remembering and never forgetting:

That a job well done is its own reward
That the opportunity to help someone else is a gift
That the complainers, the cry-babies, the drama queens, the never-use-a-turn-signals, the forgetful, the self-involved, the choleric, the phlegmatic and the your-rules-don’t-apply-to-me-types
Need you to rebel against in order to look like rebels.

(You provide the lines – for without the lines, what would they color outside of?)

So take a minute
To pat yourself on the back
And say, “Job well done.”
And as you consider someday
Showing up stoned
Or unprepared
Or not at all

And as you imagine someday being imperious
Or demanding
Or the one with the temper

Hear the unspoken “thank you” from a
Grateful nation that is a
Better, smarter, calmer, easier, friendlier and more organized place
Thanks to you
And your dogged diligence.

You are beautiful.
You are precious to us.

You are the hand that stills the water, the wheel that never squeaks, the one we all rely on
And while you probably would have remembered to send a thank-you note,
We forgot.

And just because everyone always expects you
To do well
Does not make it any less remarkable
That you always do so well.

And I would tell you to take the afternoon for yourself
Or sleep in tomorrow
But I’m pretty sure you already have plans.

So just take this very moment right now
To appreciate you
And all that you have done and done well
Even by your own high standards.

And remember:
You are beautiful.

And just because everyone always expects you to
Do well
Does not make it any less amazing, delightful or delicious that

You always do so well.

© Samantha Bennett 2009

Have a good week!

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

© Copyright 2009 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights
reserved.

Coach’sChallenge for 7/20/10 “Vacation”

Good day, team,

In reviewing some previous challenges, I saw this one about vacation, from August 2005, that I want to share again.

The coach’s challenge this week is about balancing work life and personal life. It may seem like a strange subject to bring up in the midst of summer vacations, but what better time to think about this topic than when the nice weather beckons us to take some time off and enjoy it?

I’ve often gone on vacation only to find myself more stressed than refreshed when I return. Vacation has more to do with a state of mind and how we spend our time than with how much time we take off. How often do we try to use the very skills that make us effective at work—organizing, controlling, directing—to make our vacation a success, only to find that exactly these skills are incompatible with a state of rest and relaxation? Putting ourselves in a relaxed mode is a real trick when we’re generally moving quickly and efficiently through our days.

The key to balancing work and personal time seems to be paying attention to where we are and what we’re doing when we’re doing it. If we’re still thinking about work while we’re talking to our family members, we really are not very effective at communicating with them. If we’re lying in a hammock on the weekend worrying about something at work, are we really able to relax? Conversely, if we’re in a meeting dreaming about our upcoming vacation, we’re obviously not being effective at work.

This week, try spending at least 30 minutes each day (outside of work!) just relaxing and allowing yourself to “vacate.” Try not to put any demands on yourself. In the words of Josephine Rathbone, “If we could learn how to balance rest against effort, calmness against strain, quiet against turmoil, we would assure ourselves of joy in living and psychological health for life.”

Have a great week!

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

© Copyright 2010 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights reserved.

7/12/10 “Energy”

Good day, team,

This week’s challenge is about the importance of managing your energy rather than your time.

In the June 2010 “Harvard Business Review,” Tony Schwartz, the CEO of the Energy Project, published an article titled “The Productivity Paradox: How Sony Pictures Gets More Out of People by Demanding Less.” Ten years ago, the Energy Project started to address the subject of work performance and the problem of employee disengagement after a poll of 90,000 employees worldwide revealed that only 21 percent feel fully engaged at work, whereas 40 percent are disenchanted and disengaged.

When the Energy Project discovered that burnout was one of the leading causes of disengagement, members of the staff decided to focus exclusively on helping people manage their energy instead of just their time.

According to Schwartz, “Time, after all, is finite. By contrast, you can expand your personal energy and also regularly renew it. Once people understand how their supply of available energy is influenced by the choices they make, they can learn new strategies that increase the fuel in their tanks and boost their productivity. If people define precise times at which to do highly specific activities, these new behaviors eventually become automatic and no longer require conscious will and discipline. We refer to them as rituals. They’re simple but powerful. They include practices such as shutting down your e-mail for a couple of hours during the day, so you can tackle important or complex tasks without distracting interruptions, or taking a daily 3 p.m. walk to get an emotional and mental breather.”

The article goes on to describe how the Energy Project designed an energy-management program for Sony Pictures, starting at the top of the organization. To date, more than 3,000 of the company’s 6,300 employees have been through the program and already the reaction to it has been overwhelmingly positive. More than 90 percent say it has helped them bring more energy to work every day. Eighty-four percent say they feel better able to manage their job’s demands and are more engaged at work. Despite the recession, Sony had its most profitable year to date in 2009.

Whether you set aside an uninterrupted 60 to 90 minutes each morning to focus on your top priorities or you intentionally breathe to calm down when something irritates you, there are many ways to renew yourself so you have enough energy to meet your needs. Here are some do’s and don’ts from the article to help you re-energize and renew:

DO’s
θ    Take back your lunch—get away from your desk and leave the office so you can refuel.
θ    Communicate what you value in others; write a note of appreciation to someone.
θ    Cultivate creativity by setting aside an informal, relaxing space at work for creative thinking and brainstorming.
θ    Share your passion by communicating what you stand for and what gets you up in the morning.

DON’TS

θ    Avoid conflict by ignoring a situation. Don’t be afraid to have courageous conversations: communicate directly and honestly, with sensitivity.
θ    Try to do multiple things at the same time. Make an effort to give people your full focus; try to listen and not interrupt (don’t be fooled into thinking you can multi-task: recent studies have shown that when we multi-task, our ability to do anything with proficiency goes down).
θ    Be self-absorbed. It’s easy to make any situation all about you. Try stepping beyond your own immediate needs to better serve the needs of others; put yourself in someone else’s shoes.

On his website, Schwartz writes, “Leaders can easily underestimate how their attitudes and behaviors affect the energy levels of their teams. Because energy is contagious, both the quality and quantity of a leader’s energy can drain or galvanize a team.”

This week, try to take some time to renew yourself during the day. Maybe you take a short walk or invite one of your team members out for lunch. Perhaps you put the “do not disturb” sign on your cubicle or office and take the time to focus on a high-priority project. How about just letting people know what energy zone you’re in?  My low point of the day is about 3 p.m., so I try not to have meetings from 3 to 4 since I know it’s hard for me to focus during that time. I have a friend who goes out to her car at 3 p.m. every day and takes a five-minute power nap. She always feels refreshed when she returns to her desk.

Life is movement and rest. Your energy is what gets you going and keeps you going, and it’s also what compels you to stop when you need more of it.

Have a good week,

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

© Copyright 2010 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights reserved.

Coach’s challenge for 7/5/10 “Lincoln”

Good day, team,

In celebration of the 4th of July weekend, I am sending a poem about
Abraham Lincoln that I particularly like, written by Vachel Lindsay.
This week’s challenge is in the poem’s first line.

Lincoln

Would I might rouse the Lincoln in you all,
That which is gendered in the wilderness
From lonely prairies and God’s tenderness.
Imperial soul, star of a weedy stream,
Born where the ghosts of buffaloes still dream,
Whose spirit hoof-beats storm above his grave,
Above that breast of earth and prairie-fire—
Fire that freed the slave.

Have a good week!

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

© Copyright 2010 Pathfinders Coaching, Scout Search, Inc., all rights
reserved