The title of this post is ‘attitude is everything’. I continue to be amazed at how our attitude has everything to do with how we feel about ourselves and our lives. Here are some examples of a friend and a client whose lives have changed dramatically and how the changes have altered their attitude.
My friend Kimberlee realized her lifelong dream years ago by buying a home in France. Ever since she was a young child, she had dreamed of this event. After working full time through most of her adult life and raising two children, she moved to France, bought a home, and opened a business. It took a long time for her to set it all up. She lived in a construction zone of a home for the first year with little furniture while the property was being renovated. I recall reading her travel blog where she wrote, “First off, imagine undertaking home repairs and renovation with someone who doesn’t speak your language. I am sleeping on a ‘mattelasse’ my contractor has loaned me until my bed arrives and using a one-burner camping stove for coffee and such.”
Kimberlee was very successful in her career. She had grown quite accustomed to living in comfortable surroundings, be it her home, or her beach house. In her American life, she never would have put up with sleeping on a mattress and making coffee on a hotplate each morning. But she’s now living her dream come true. She was quite willing and happy to endure whatever hardships she encountered, knowing that someday she would have the home she had always envisioned. Her attitude toward creature comforts changed, and what would normally be intolerable circumstances became bearable in light of this change.
A client of mine was living the high life as a successful financial advisor at Morgan Stanley. He lived in a fabulous condo in Manhattan with a view of Central Park. He dined at all the best restaurants and wore the finest tailored Italian suits. Now, after a complete turn of events and facing a major health crisis, he’s lucky to still have a job. His salary is a quarter of what it was, his condominium sold for quite a bit less than what he paid, and he’s living in an apartment that’s much smaller than anyplace he’s ever lived. He told me recently, “I remember how I used to complain to you about how the dry cleaners didn’t get my laundry done quickly enough. Now I feel lucky when I come upon an unoccupied machine in the laundry room at the apartment building and I have enough quarters at the same time.” His sudden change in fortune has changed his attitude dramatically. Two years ago he felt entitled to immediate service and was angry when it didn’t happened. Today, he’s grateful to be able to accomplish his chores himself.
Take a look at your attitude about your life and the way you live it. Have you lost your ability to be grateful for some of the simplest things? Have you been forced to adjust your living standards, given current economic pressures, and struggle with old attitudes that cause you to resent your current circumstances? Do you believe that because of your title at work, you’re entitled to certain privileges and perks that you don’t really need, but have grown accustomed to?
Instead, try cultivating an attitude that serves your current situation. Experiment with changing your circumstances so that you can change your attitude.
Whenever I feel disgruntled and ungrateful, I try to remember this story.
A Buddhist monk once traveled to the next village to help his brothers. While he was gone, his small home burned to the ground. As it was burning, a friend from the village found the monk and told him what was happening. They ran to the home site and arrived as the last few bits of wood turned to embers. The monk’s friend looked at him with tears in his eyes and exclaimed how sorry he was that the monk had lost his home. The monk stood in silence for a moment and then, as he gazed up at the sky, proclaimed, “Ah, now I have a much better view of the moon.”
Take a hint from the Buddhist monk: It’s all in your attitude!
Kathleen