I’ve been thinking a lot about body language lately. A client of mine sent me an article on this topic, that perfectly captured what I’ve been noticing in myself and others.
“Are You Mad at Me?”
Years ago, a colleague pulled me aside and asked, “Are you mad at me?” I wasn’t — not at all — but the question stayed with me. I later realized that, in the middle of a tight deadline, I’d likely been walking through the newsroom with a furrowed brow, lost in thought. That brief expression was enough for someone to assume something was wrong.
That moment taught me how easily others interpret — and misinterpret — our nonverbal cues, even in meetings held via video. From then on, I made a conscious effort to show clarity, confidence, and optimism, especially when leading my team.
Many leaders have shared similar experiences. Employees often read body language more closely than words. Concerned expressions can quickly spark concern in others.
One story that has always stayed with me comes from Linda Hudson, former president of BAE Systems. On her first day as the first female president of General Dynamics, she wore a new suit with a uniquely tied scarf. The next day, a dozen women showed up wearing their scarves the exact same way. It was a striking reminder that leaders are constantly observed — from what they say to how they behave, carry themselves, and set the tone for their organizations. As she put it, the awareness and responsibility of that visibility stay with her every day.
Another thing to consider is how people respond to your facial expressions. Try “picking a face” that aligns with the situation you’re in. This doesn’t mean having one fixed expression — it means choosing the expression that best communicates the message you intend to send.
Pay attention to how others’ expressions shift when you speak with them. They often mirror yours. If someone furrows their brow, check whether you’re doing the same. If you smile while someone is describing a difficult situation, you may unintentionally signal that you’re dismissing their concern.
Start by observing your own habits. Notice if you tend to tense your face, roll your eyes, or look distracted without realizing it. Adjust your body language so it conveys clarity, presence, and respect — and reduces confusion for those around you.
Your expressions set the tone. Choose them intentionally.
Here’s the lesson – become more aware of the messages you send through your expressions and body language at work. Small adjustments can significantly influence how others respond to you.
Kathleen