Many of us live with an inner narrative that tells us we’re not strong enough, smart enough, or capable enough — that we’ve made mistakes, should have said something differently, or should be doing a better job. Layer onto that the constant marketing messages suggesting we’re not thin enough, attractive enough, or “cool” enough, and it becomes overwhelming.
I’ve long believed that our society doesn’t do much to support healthy self-esteem. Throughout school, teachers often focus on what we’re not getting right. In the workplace, managers emphasize what we need to improve. Parents, with the best of intentions, try to help us “get it right” so we can have a good life — yet the underlying message we frequently absorb is that we’re getting it wrong.
Here is a poem I often read to remind me of my self-worth.
Love After Love
The time will come
when, with elation,
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror,
and each will smile at the other’s welcome
and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was yourself.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you
all your life, whom you have ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,
the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.
~ Derek Walcott
I hope reading this poem from time to time will help remind you of what a unique and wonderful person you are. No matter what anyone tells you, take the time to sit and feast on your life!
Kathleen