December 19, 2005

Good day, team,

This week brings the winter solstice, and I am reminded of the importance of light in our lives. Your challenge this week is to bring more light into your life and someone else’s. This can be accomplished in many ways. Here are some suggestions:

1. Light a candle.

2. Offer someone a small gift to brighten their day.

3. Spend some time watching the fire in your fireplace.

4. Put some holiday lights up in your home.

5. Open the blinds and let the light into your environment.

6. Make a flambe dessert. (Be careful with this one: It takes a steady hand!)

7. Offer to help someone else at work to lighten their load.

8. Delegate something to someone else to lighten your own load!

9. Tell someone how much you appreciate them. It will light up their day.

10. Let the love and light in your heart shine through. It will enlighten everyone you meet.

Have a joyful, light-filled week and a wonderful holiday,

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
2839 NE Hoyt Street
Portland, Oregon 97232
(503) 296-9249

The coach will be on vacation next week, but she’ll be back the first week of January.

December 18, 2005

Good day Team,
This week brings the winter solstice and I am reminded of the importance of light in our lives. Your challenge this week is to bring more light into your life and someone elses. This can be accomplished in many ways. Here are some suggestions:

1. Light a candle.

2. Offer someone a small gift to brighten their day.

3. Spend some time watching the fire in your fireplace.

4. Put some holiday lights up in your home.

5. Open the blinds and let the light into your environment.

6. Make a flambe dessert (be careful of this one, it takes a steady hand!)

7. Offer to help someone else at work to lighten their load.

8. Delegate something to someone else to lighten your own load!

9. Tell someone how much you appreciate them. It will light up their day.

10. Let the love and light in your heart shine through. It will enlighten everyone you meet.

Have a joyful, light filled week and a wonderful holiday,

Kathleen

The coach will be on vacation next week, but she’ll be back the first week of January.

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
2839 NE Hoyt Street
Portland, Oregon 97232
(503)296-9249

December 04, 2005

Good day Team,

2005 is coming to an end and in looking back over the year, I feel compelled to say something about our environment. Nature has spoken very loudly this past year, in New Orleans, in Florida, in the Himalayas, in Indonesia. Even in the Pacific Northwest, we saw Mt. St. Helens erupt a few times. There is no doubt that nature can change everything in a moment and in doing so, change our lives forever.

Most of us work inside all day long, so the experience of nature is somewhat foreign to us. This disconnects us from nature and we often take it for granted or are surprised when natural occurances change our daily patterns. Think of what happens when a big storm hits and the electricity goes out. It is often a real pain to watch your food in the freezer melt or your thermostat hover around 50 degrees for days at a time. We all hear about the importance of being prepared for natural disasters, but how many of us have those extra water containers and a week’s supply of food in our garages? Frankly, I find that I’m much more prepared for nature’s surprises after a week of camping than I am after a long days work in my office.

Nature lets us know that she is mighty and does not like to be ignored. We do our best to adapt to it’s changes but the results are often costly. Businesses spend lots of money creating business resumption plans and secondary sites to ensure that customers can continue to get service in the face of natural disasters. One of our challenges for 2006 is to be more observant of our external environment and to cultivate an attitude of respect for such a powerful force. We would be wise to consider nature by paying attention to it more often and by preserving it in some way.

Your challenge this next week is to do one thing that takes nature into consideration. Maybe you throw away a piece of paper in the recycle box or consider buying individual re-cycling containers for your home or office as part of your New Year’s resolution. Perhaps you decide to use organic fertilizer in your garden or find an organic alternative to using pesticides. The next time you turn on your computer, remember that if it wasn’t for sand (silicon), the chips in your computer that give it it’s memory wouldn’t exist. I like to remember to turn the water off when I’m brushing my teeth so that I don’t waste a lot of water when I’m not using it. It’s a small thing to do, but it’s one way that I can respect nature in her providing me with an abundance of water. One of my New Year’s resolutions is to re-stock my disaster recovery stash so that I can be more prepared in an emergency.

Nature provides us everything we need to live. It’s the least we can do to let her know that we love and respect her. Even though we don’t get out to experience her often enough, we know she’s there for all of us to appreciate.

Here are a few quotes I read recently about nature that I found inspiring:

“I woke up in the middle of the night and climbed out of the tent to make coffee. There was no sound save the wind and, in all that space, not one light, just a scant new moon that heng in the sky like a find silk thread. The twentieth century had vanished. I raised my cup in a toast.” Richard West

“The heron, unseen for weeks, came flying wide-winged toward me, settled just offshore on his post, took up his vigel. If you ask why this cleared a fog from my spirit, I have no answer.” Denise Levertov.

“Nature is not a place to visit. It is home.” Gary Snyder

Have a great week!

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

November 28, 2005

Good day, team,

This week’s challenge comes from a lovely little book called “Mocha with Max,” by Max Lucado*. I hope you enjoy it!

Several years ago my daughter Andrea and I had a bicycle adventure. She had just learned to keep her balance on a two-wheeler and was ready to leave the safety of the front street and try the hill behind our house. She’d never ridden down a hill before.

We sat atop the descent and looked down it. To her it was Everest. “You sure you want to try?” I asked.

“I think so,” she gulped.

“Just put on your brakes when you want to stop. Don’t forget your brakes.”

“Okay.”

I rode my bike to the midway point and waited. Down she came. The bike began to pick up speed. The handlebars began to shake. Her eyes got big. Her pedals moved in a blur. As she raced past she screamed, “I can’t remember how to stop pedaling!”

She crashed into the curb.

If you don’t know how to stop, the result can be painful. True on bikes. True in life.

We need one day in which work comes to a screeching halt. We need one 24-hour period in which the wheels stop grinding and the motor stops turning. We need to stop.

Your challenge this week is to remember to stop during the busy holiday season. Life is both movement and rest. It seems like we all have the movement part down; don’t forget about the rest.

Have a great week!

Kathleen

Kathleen Doyle-White
Pathfinders Coaching
(503) 296-9249

*Many thanks to Meg Amberg from OCP for the gift of “Mocha with Max.”

November 21, 2005

Good day, team,

The coach’s challenge this week is about assessing your progress toward a
goal. There is nothing more satisfying than deciding what you want to do,
setting a definite goal for accomplishing it, and then meeting that goal.

While we go through this process, however, we often stop to see how we’re
doing. This analysis of how much progress we’ve made is sometimes
gratifying, sometimes frustrating, and often difficult to judge: either we
don’t have enough information available or we are unable to see the whole
picture as we try to evaluate our progress.

Last week, I took a moment to analyze how far I had come on a project that
I’ve been working on for awhile. It seemed as though I had taken two steps
forward and three steps back. Some obstacles I hadn’t accounted for came up,
and I became frustrated and depressed.

It took me a few days to see that although I felt I had taken many steps
backwards, I was still moving toward meeting my goal: I just wasn’t moving
as fast as I thought I should be. I also saw that my frustration and
depression about it could easily themselves become obstacles to moving
forward. It’s easy to deviate from our original plan and get side-tracked by
many things, including our own state of mind.

Your challenge this week is to look more objectively at the progress you’re
making in your job. Maybe it’s a project you’re working on or the results
you’re looking to achieve with your team. Perhaps you’re trying to achieve a
goal that seems unattainable some days and feasible the next. It could be a
professional goal you’ve set for yourself like learning a new computer
program or applying some training you’ve received in the past few months.

See if you can look at your progress and relate it to the larger picture,
rather than thinking that you’ve made no progress at all because an obstacle
came up in the short-term. Try looking at what you’re achieving in context,
remembering that anything done well requires time, consistent effort and
patience.

It’s easy for us to see our progress with hindsight; it’s difficult for us
to see how far we’ve come when we only consider it day to day.

Have a great (and thankful) week!

Kathleen

November 14, 2005

Good day Team,

The coach’s challenge is to re-visit is what I call the delivery sandwich. We all know the shorthand of that: Good News/ Bad News/ Good News. Sandwich the bad news between two pieces of good news. Sandwich the weakness between two slices of strength. Sandwich the thing that needs to get fixed between two things that person does well, etc…

This shorthand approach works, sort of. Just like a glib, insincere compliment works…sort of. It’s easier to swallow some bad news in the moment, if it’s lubricated with a compliment. But is it any easier to digest? Slapping some meat between two slices of bread gives you a pretty darn mediocre sandwich that often falls apart while you’re handing it out.

One way the delivery sandwich works better is when we take the time to truly think about the person we’re about to talk with. We remind ourselves, most of all, about their strengths, their value, and place our message within the context of all that person brings to the table. Now when we talk with that person about whatever it was that needs addressing, we feel differently. Because we feel differently, we’re careful to present what we have so it can be utilized, not just swallowed.

Think about it. Have you ever had a bite of someone else’s sandwich in a restaurant or deli, that was absolutely fabulous? You ask what’s in it, and they name some ingredient that you usually can’t stand. But the whole sandwich was so terrific, that one ingredient just blended into the mix. That’s what a well-crafted delivery can do. And good delivery turns into action and results.

So pull out your cutting boards, and whip up a sandwich that someone can not only swallow, but digest and act on.

Have a great week-

Kathleen Doyle-White

October 30, 2005

Good day, team,

Your challenge this week is not to blame other people when things go wrong.

We all fear failure to some extent. And when we fail, we often blame other people around us for mistakes we’ve made. Sometimes we can’t control the outcome of our actions because of natural occurrences: “Oh well, the hurricane caused the delay,” or “Because of the power outage, we weren’t able to complete the project on time.” But when we think we should be able to control the outcome of our work (it’s often in our job descriptions), we can’t accept failure, and we blame someone else if things going awry.

Earlier this week, I was talking with a client who just six months ago praised his managers for the work they were doing and the success they were having. Now, he blames the same managers “for not doing their job.” I was surprised to hear him make this claim, and yet I realized that, because he’s afraid of failing, he’s making the situation someone else’s fault.

The truth is that everyone involved knows what’s really been going on, and no amount of blame or judgment is going to change the outcome. And everyone finds it upsetting to see other people get blamed for things that are not their fault. In the long run, the truth always emerges, but in the meantime, watching people get blamed unfairly is hard on everyone. No one likes to be blamed, and so we feel bad for anyone who’s on the receiving end of this negative emotion.

Your challenge this week is to pay attention to your impulses to blame others. Is it really true that a bad situation is their fault? Is the failure really your responsibility? Most of us work on teams; when we fail, is it just certain peoples’ fault, or is the whole team involved? Can anything come to a good end by your blaming others?

Blaming becomes a bad habit if not checked early on. It erodes trust and creates an unhealthy environment where people strike out at each other and defend themselves. It robs us of the chance to examine our own behaviors and make changes that will improve our performance and self-esteem. I also found it worth noting that according to a local Chinese herbalist, blame is one of the five causes of disease, the others being anger, criticism, hatred and boredom/annoyance.

Try to notice who and what you blame, and take responsibility yourself instead. You may find that if you stop blaming others, you’ll be kinder to yourself about adverse circumstances you can’t control.

Have a great week!

October 24, 2005

Good day Team,

I saw this brief but wonderful piece by Emerson over the weekend and had to
share it. I realize that oftentimes fewer words have a greater impact.

Your challenge this week is to laugh often.

“To laugh often and much, to win the respect of intelligent people and the
affection of children, to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure
the betrayal of false friends, to appreciate beauty, to find the best in
others, to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a
garden patch… to know even one life has breathed easier because you have
lived. This is to have succeeded.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

Have a great week!

Kathleen

October 10, 2005

Good day, team,

Your challenge this week is to get out in nature while the seasons are changing. Now is an exciting time. The days that were brilliantly sunny are becoming shorter and obliquely lit. The bright colors of summer are turning into the muted tones of autumn. The green leaves transforming to rust and gold remind us of nature’s recurrent annual patterns.

Observing patterns in nature is a wonderful way to bring relativity to any moment. When we become discouraged at work because we think nothing is getting better, we can look outside and see that things do, in fact, change daily. Yesterday, I watched some geese flying along the Columbia River. Each year, these geese know just where to fly in exactly the right season to make their annual migrations. Their species is attuned to decreases in temperature and in daylight, and so they know that it’s time to change their environment.

I also noticed a large rock face for the first time. I have driven by it many times in the past few months, but then, because the summer light was so bright, I couldn’t see the contours of the rock and the patterns that they make. In the light of autumn, I could see these patterns for the first time. The experience caused me to wonder what else is in front of me that I can’t see. What’s actually right in front of me at work, for example, that I’m not seeing? What patterns are visible that I’ve seen before, but I’m not seeing right now?

The ability to appreciate changes in the natural world can help us see other situations in a new way. Last week, a client tried to convince me that making big moves in his life, like changing his job and his residence, was the right thing to do. But when I looked at his entire situation, I realized that this is not a good time for him to make big changes. I tried to use the seasons as a metaphor. Spring is a wonderful time for the birth and growth of new things, whereas winter is a time of hibernation, a time to go inward and allow the seeds of change to lie quiet and covered. I tried to help my client see that perhaps he was better off letting his new opportunities stay dormant for awhile and then allowing them to germinate and flourish in spring. With this approach, he will be “going with the flow,” so to speak, and perhaps find it easier to make these changes rather than forcing them at the wrong time.

By looking at nature, we can recognize inherent rhythms and timing. We can see certain things that perhaps give us clues about our own lives. Nature is a wonderful teacher, and the good news is that we don’t have to “make” her happen. She does it all on her own!

Try getting out in nature at least once this week to see what’s happening. Look at the patterns in leaves, in rocks, in clouds. Is there a hidden message in these patterns that can help you get through your day? Take a look.

Have a great week!

Kathleen

October 04, 2005

Good day, team,
The coach’s challenge this week is about abuse of power. People who are in positions in which they supervise, manage or strongly influence others are in positions of power. Along with this power comes a great responsibility. When our decisions, our behavior and even our general state of mind have a great affect on the people we oversee, we have a responsibility not to abuse them.

Abuse of power can come in many forms. There are the more obvious forms: that of the tyrant who demands that his servants do his bidding, or the uncaring type of aristocrat, like Marie Antoinette, who exclaimed, “Let them eat cake!” as the French people were dying of starvation in the streets. Perhaps it’s the patriarch who supresses his family members with verbal and physical beatings. But what about the more subtle forms of abuse that often show up in the corporate arena, but are never addressed?

Take, for instance, the passive-aggressive approach: The manager who withholds information from his staff so they will make the type of decision that the manager really wants them to make, or the supervisor who asks the staff for suggestions, but has already made up his or her mind about what action to take and is simply going through the motions. There’s also the abusive nature of people who decide when they’ll participate with their team and when they won’t. Team members who decide when they want to show up for meetings based on how they want to “position” themselves rather than being willing to participate regularly, regardless of the challenge, are often abusing the privilege of being a member of the team in the first place. They seem more interested in how they appear, rather than being a fully engaged member of the team. Perhaps they’re routinely five to 15 minutes late to meetings. This tends to force the rest of the team to wait for them to appear before any real action can take place.

We often think of power as something overt and obvious. But often times, inaction is more powerful than action. I’ve seen time and again managers who won’t engage. This attitude forces the rest of their team to scramble, dance or do whatever it takes to work around them. The level of frustration that ensues from constantly feeling like one’s supervisor is immobile, like a huge rock in the road, is incredibly stressful and demotivating. In these cases, people just give up. They either quit or they disengage.

So what is power, really? The following quote from Roswell D. Hitchcock is a good explanation: “Real power has fullness and variety. It is not narrow like lightning, but broad like light. The man who truly and worthily excels in any one line of endeavor might also, under a change of circumstances, have excelled in some other line. Power is a thing of solidity and wholeness.” We’ve all experienced how powerful it can be when someone finally speaks the truth. It’s very frustrating to sit in meetings and listen to people speak half-truths or express their opinions as if they’re the only truth.

There is an element of patience in the right use of power, and part of that is knowing when the time is right to get to the heart of the matter, express it, and move on. Honore de Balzac wrote, “Power is not revealed by striking hard or often, but by striking true.”

Your challenge this week is to consider where your power lies and in what ways you use it. Do you direct your fellow team members with an element of kindness and consideration ? Are you being responsible to the authority you have by using it for the common good? Or do you use fear and subtle forms of intimidation to get what you want? Do you withhold from others to control a situation? Do you undercut others behind their backs to negatively influence their opinions?

Abraham Lincoln once said, “Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.” Try to see how your power affects the people around you. A true test is to see if you’re the kind of leader you would want to work for.

Have a great week!
Kathleen