One of the most powerful capacities we have is the ability to truly hear and listen. I’ve learned over the years that listening is not passive—it’s an intentional practice. Today we often refer to it as “active listening,” but at its core, it is the discipline of staying present with another person.
I’ve experimented with many ways to bring myself back into the moment when someone else is speaking. One of the simplest and most effective is grounding myself by feeling my feet. Placing my attention there centers me and helps me return to the conversation. When I notice that I heard the beginning of someone’s message but drifted into my own thoughts, I wait until they pause and then ask a clarifying question. I’ve found that people genuinely appreciate this. Rather than pretending I absorbed everything, asking for clarification communicates respect and reinforces that their words matter.
Listening involves far more than hearing the words being spoken. It requires awareness of the speaker’s tone, pace, inflection, and body language. It also requires self-awareness: noticing when my mind jumps ahead to my response, when I’m tempted to interrupt, or when I start filling in the blanks of their sentences. Staying present to both the speaker and to my own internal reactions is essential to genuine communication.
Being fully present while listening is one of the greatest challenges we face in daily life—but it is also one of the most impactful skills we can cultivate.
Kathleen